An UnEventful life

CHAPTER 4

It is said that the first world you create would be the most important one and the one which is more closer to you and i completely agree on this.
The first world anyone creates would be an exact depiction of what that person wants in real life, what they miss and their deepest desires.
For me, my first world was my utopia , it was my strength and my haven. A place i made that made me feel safe and it had everything i did not. A perfect family, money, fame, friends, it had everything.

It was a world filled with joy and eternal love, one that is powered by the word, family.My father is a business man and my mother is a lawyer, i have an absolutely loving sister who looks up to me. My parents are very supportive and loves me so much.
I have a huge group of friends who would die for me, who believes me and protects me from harm.
I have everything i don't have in the real world in this world.
And i am happy, for once in my life, I'm finally happy. I just close my eyes and let myself get stuck in that world full of love and peace.
Don't i deserve love? Don't i deserve happiness? Yes i do and i have no other way to achieve it than by dreaming of it, by creating a world that is just perfect for me.

I sit down staring at the book. Will this really give me satisfaction?. I can finally have anything i want in another world. Isn't that a gift itself?.
Then i look into the mirror and i see a girl who's broken inside but tries her best to smile, but who am I smiling for? It's not like anyone will know if i fake a smile.
People are too blinded by their own personal problems to have time to think about others around them.
But i don't need to worry about those is my dystopia, i have my own utopia with many friends who understands me, who loves me and cares for me.
The real world may be cruel and cunning but my utopia is warm and comfortable, i can just escape to there and be safe. Wouldn't that be enough?
Isn't that real as it can get?.

A world filled will roses and pink clouds, the scent of warmth that is spread across the air and the feeling of comfort, that was what my utopia gave me. A haven. That world was pink in my mind, clouds that looks like cotton candy, flowers that grew all over the place, a house filled with laughter , eyes that was full of enthusiasm and an embrace of love, thats the feeling.

I close my book to end the chapter, that's enough for this world, that's enough for now. I still have time to create more universes with much more different emotions.
As i finally close the book i realise with a sigh that it's time to face the reality again, it's time to go back to my dystopian reality leaving behind my wonderful utopia but it won't be long till i make another one, so no worries. I just have to suffer for a while.
I hear the sound of moms yelling downstairs, will those yells ever turn into calls filled with love? I don't think it will but i can still hope,right?

I didn't wish for this, I'm sorry

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