A Song of Silence

Chapter 3

Astrid

The bell rings, and my arms are snapped to my side, suddenly feeling so much heavier, as we line up in a uniform fashion to put our trays back. This is our normal. This is our routine.

From the corner of my eye, I can see Callisto is behind me, head pointing ahead, undeviating and unswerving, as if she is looking through the students ahead. If you could imagine a metal rod that went perfectly through the middle of your head all the way down, preventing you from moving, that is what the control is like. Sometimes, it is more like a wave, one that washes over you. I don't like that kind. It's too much control. You don't even realize what you're thinking, what you might have done until it's over. Either way, I go along with it. It doesn't matter what I want, really. It's better to get on their good side if I want to do well in life. The only adequate path that you can follow is theirs, so I have devoted myself to becoming a model citizen.

When my turn in line comes, my arms are released from the tight hold, and I lift them to place my own tray – gray, of course – on the rack, then follow the rest of my classmates into the halls, where we disperse to head off to our next classes.

A tapestry hangs high above on the stone wall, with the words "Confido, Jurisictio, et Fides" emblazoned on it, Latin for "Trust, Jurisdiction, and Allegiance". Our motto. Our values. An eagle is delicately embroidered on as well, symbolizing truth, power, and freedom. The colors, too, are symbolic. The gray of the background, our clothing, our trays, everything, meaning balance. The crimson of the letters meaning blood loyalty. Funny that the sky shares the same colors as it.

Classes are one in the same, day after day, but we all try not to mind it. It's just one step forward in our future with the government, so we obey. Always obey. We hold our heads high to make them happy, in hopes that they will choose us to be their future. We are their future. Some time from now, one of us will be chosen to represent them, and they will pick only from the best of the best.

Many years ago, before the Imperium saved us from our destructive path and rescued us, lighting up the dark walkway that we had been traveling before, we were on the brink of extinction. A terrible pandemic had raged throughout our home, our earth, and soon, there would be nothing left. It left thousands upon thousands without families, and our government had been struggling unsuccessfully to regain the order that had existed before. The infectious disease plagued our minds, making us lose control of ourselves. The Imperium were the first to discover the cure, and the vaccine, and stepped in, completely unharmed by the virus. Slowly and gradually, we began to rebuild from the dust, the nothingness, and humanity was born anew from the ashes, like a phoenix from the flames. It only made sense for them to become our leaders. After they rescued us from that, who were we to argue?

They found a way to turn our weaknesses into strengths, forming the control to utilize and make the best of the sickness that had so long been taking over our population and turn it into something good again. They found a way to make the most of our past, while not sacrificing our future to do it. They became a model to us all, and we stand up, wake up every morning, every day, to live for them. We follow them, not only because of the control, but because we want to follow them. We look up to their perfect leadership, how they made our nation great once more, when we thought that it would have been impossible to do so.

They keep us. And we are theirs. So every day, without stopping, without end, without question, we follow them. Obey. Always obey.

***

Some might think that school would get boring, each day, learning about the Imperium and how important they are to us. I don't find it to be so. If you were to ask me, I would say that we replace our simple math class with something more useful. Of course, it doesn't matter what I think; it only matters what the Imperium chooses.

I have wondered before whether the Imperium themselves are under the control of some higher seat in the government. I wouldn't be surprised if they were. It would certainly be a very risky gamble if they don't. What if one of them defected? Not that there's anything to defect to. No, the Imperium is all that's left. It would be pointless to defy them anyway. Right?

Why am I thinking this? This is no way to think. No way to think at all. No, all rebellion, all thoughts of defiance, are forbidden, explicitly forbidden. I could be killed for merely questioning that. I cannot think like this. Not if I don't want to disappoint our leaders.

"Astrid!" a stern woman's voice calls. Oh. I've been daydreaming again. I must not do this.

Pay attention, Astrid. Pay attention.

Ignoring them will only knock you further down into the dirt, until you've fallen so hard there's nowhere left to go. Secrets are a cause for punishment. Disobedience carries the ultimate price.

I must pay attention. I must pay attention.

Who controls them? Who controls us? Maybe there is more than what is on the surface. Maybe they have other reasons. Why do they punish us for not following them exactly?

You cannot think this. It is criminal. Don't be a traitor. Listen to her. Don't throw away your future for sheer curiosity. It isn't worth it. You cannot doubt them. Isn't this what you've wanted? To be one of them? What is any of it worth if you give it all up? Nothing. Don't. Don't. Don't.

But now they're coming from every direction, intruding on me, up and down and left and right and hitting me from the front and behind and I can't, I can't, I can't.

"Astrid!" the voice comes again, firmer this time, with a threatening aura to it, as if it can somehow drag me out from my tangle of thoughts, the internal war that rages in me. Who would I be without the Imperium?

STOP.

And it does. And so do I. Stop. Frozen. I am a shell. I am nothing, numb, quiet, silenced. But it feels so much better. So much better not to question it. So much better to accept it. So much better than to be in caution, looking over your shoulder every second to make sure that you are not being watched. So much better with the control. How could I have ever thought the Imperium was bad?

The rest of the day, I am engulfed by the comforting warmth of their shielding control, which fends off the unwanted visitors and keeps the invading whispers at bay.

Obey. Always obey.

~

Author's note: So this chapter got a little more chaotic and messy, and this was mainly to give you a glimpse of what Astrid is actually like -- not who she tries to be, which is really the only thing we see from Callisto. It's also really inspired by the kind of place that my mind can be at times, yelling different things at myself. If it's a little confusing, just note that it's meant to be, and the contradictions to what Astrid believes are intended.

And yes, I did include an Inheritance Games reference.