I was a teenage abomination

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[Open the sun, panning down to show dewdrop, Eda, and King standing on a beach.]

Eda: Well, dewdrop! [Elbows her.] Did you ever in your life think you'd see something as breathtaking as this?

[She gestures to the corpse of a trash slug that towers over them. It's surrounded by trash and muck. Flies audibly buzz around the corpse.]

Dewdrop: [Shaking her head.] I don't like this. [She plugs her nose.]

Eda: [Walks to the trash slug.] Yes, it doesn't get much more inspiring than the trash slug. It makes a home, a life from what others have thrown by the wayside. [Pulls a rubber chicken from the trash slug's mouth.] Until, blam, it gets blasted by a wave one day and croaks from all the salt. And then we get to sell the stuff it ate. [She pulls out a pickaxe.]

Dewdrop: Please don't make me.

King: [Walking away.] Aw, come on, dewdrop. [Unfurls a towel.] It's not every day you get to go to the dump and pick apart a garbage carcass.

Eda: Ah, nuts to you both.

[Eda swings the pick at the trash slug.]

Dewdrop: So, Eda...

[Glass shatters.]

Dewdrop: What if we tried some new lessons for my apprenticeship? Like...

[Something crashes.]

Dewdrop: Read ancient scrolls or mix together potions, or—

Eda: [While tossing things from the trash slug's mouth.] Ugh. That sounds like a bunch of magic school stuff.

Dewdrop: Wait. Is there a magic school here? Like, winding towers, cute uniforms, dark plots that threaten your life kind of magic school?

Eda: Mm-hmm. What's worse, they force you to learn magic the "proper" way. But magic isn't proper. It's wild and unpredictable. And that's why it's so beautiful. I didn't finish school, and look at me! Who wouldn't envy where I am right now?

[Flies are flying around the pile of trash Eda is currently standing in. Luz's expression falls.]

Eda: Uh... Hey, here's a lesson. [Drops her pick.] A great witch is resourceful, [Sticks dewdrop's hand in a puddle of trash slug bile.] like this.

[Eda drags dewdrop's hand back and forth before letting go. Luz continues digging until she pulls something out.]

Dewdrop: Oh, hey. Greasy slime ball.

Eda: [Closes dewdrop's hands around the slime ball.] Use your slime ball wisely, young witch. [Stands and heads back for the trash slug.] Back at it! We'll hit the stink nodes first.

Dewdrop: Actually, if it's okay, [Starts backing away.] I think I'll head home and look at pictures of animals that are still... alive. Love you, King. [Pets his belly.]

[King giggles.]

Dewdrop: You little beach peach. [Continues walking into the woods.]

[King sighs.]

Eda: [Shrugs.] More for me, then.

[She climbs into the trash slug, sending several things clattering.]

Eda: There we go. Okay.

[She tosses out a cheese grater, an electric fan, and a tuba, the last of which lands on King's head.]

King: Ow! [Struggles to free himself.]

Eda: This is awesome!

-THEME SONG-

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 21, 2023 ⏰

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