What Have I Done?

Chapter 28: I Didn't Want This

Love fills an empty glass and soothes over the rough surface of ice. It fits just perfectly. It belongs.

For those who have been deprived of love, it can be difficult to accept at first, but once the roots have dug in deep, getting rid of it is near impossible. The thought of losing it—horrifying.

Most bots associate love as a positive entity, despite the suicides, the assaults, the depression, the plethora of energon spilled and sparks shattered by it. Love offers a rush of adrenaline for some and a calm, alluring presence for others. The feeling is more addictive than any drug and the bitter aftertaste, more potent than dark energon.

This rings true for many. For Orion Pax? Especially so.

His bond with Megatron was one of a kind. He'd never experienced anything akin to this. Not with Ratchet, not with Alpha Trion. True, Orion had been hesitant to let anything bloom between them, but he would not deny that his spark pulsed faster at the thought of the gleaming gladiator.

Megatron was intelligent, thoughtful, and passionate.

What more could anyone ask for?

Orion thought that the worst thing that could happen was for one of them to die or be captured, but clearly, fate was more cruel than he expected. His love had to be ignored.

He had to terminate it.

The strength of Megatron's love haunted him. Guilt and shame consumed him. Orion would never be able to explain. He would never be able to apologize.

Not unless he wanted to doom his race. To doom his planet.

Orion's spark felt like a twisted wreck. He was almost sure that if he opened his chassis, the melted mess that remained of it would slide out. He had to check every so often to make sure that it wasn't seeping through the cracks.

His processor fought to come up with reasons to run back to Megatron and explain everything. It urged him that the future was uncertain, and with his knowledge, he could save everyone still. It reasoned that bots would prefer to fight for their freedom under Megatron's guidance, than to die as oppressed and deceived.

But then, there was that little voice within him that could not stand the thought of Orion being happy, being content with Megatron, while the rest of the planet suffered. He had to chose the future of his people over himself. Megatron and him were just two bots.

Their sparks meant nothing in the face of extinction.

Surely, if Megatron had been chosen to receive the vision, he would be doing the same thing. He would understand. He would betray Orion for the greater good.

He would.

He would.

Orion repeated this assurance to himself as he followed two mechs down the hall. Ratchet was at his side, quiet, and clearly deep in thought. By the time they arrived at their destination, Orion's mind was set; he would do what was necessary to save his planet, no matter the personal cost.

The doors were pulled open and Orion narrowed his optics at the familiar color scheme. He hadn't know where the guards were taking him and Ratchet, but judging by the datapads and the crest on the table in the center, Orion was certain that this room belonged to Alpha Trion.

He was proven right when the mech stepped into the far side of the room, emerging fron the hallway as if he was some wise guardian, ready to help and defend. The smile on his worn face held did not fool Orion. He was a liar. He was a fraud.

Orion stopped walking forward and glared. Primus wanted him to oppose Megatron, but that did not mean that Orion had to work with this villian.

"Keep moving," one of the guards snapped, grabbing Orion's arm in a viselike grip.