I should've given the nurse my phone number with May's so I wouldn't have all this uncertainty. For the first time, I was uncertain of my curse. When I saw May on the bus, she didn't mention the man in the hospital, so he hadn't died yet. Or maybe I was wrong and he didn't die. May would never trust me again and wouldn't be my friend. All I could do was wait and see. But what if when May found out that what I had told her was true? Would she ever want to talk to me again?
I waited on the couch with my cell phone in my hands, clutching it tightly. I'd been waiting like this ever since I got home from school. My mom entered the living room dressed up and pretty. I tilted my head to the side in confusion. Why was she dressed up? Was she going somewhere? She saw me and smiled lightly. "I'm going out to dinner with Dave since it's Lucy's birthday. I don't need to go if you don't want to be alone."
"I'll be fine, go ahead." She smiled gratefully, as if she needed my permission.
"I won't be gone too long. Just a small little dinner, fast and quick." She rambled on as if she needed to convince herself. I went back to watching the wall and waiting for May. I heard pattering on the window and I knew it was raining. My mom pulled the drape aside and proved that it was raining. "Can I still go to dinner? Well, the weather doesn't matter unless the roads aren't too slippery."
The doorbell rang and Mom ran to the door. I heard her talking to someone who must have been Dave. She came back into the living room and kissed me on the forehead. "Love you," she said quickly and then she was gone.
"Bye," I said to a now empty room. I looked at my phone in my clutched hands and sighed. The rain came down in buckets, so I almost didn't hear the knocking sound. Mom must have forgotten something. I opened the door to see a drenched person standing on the porch. She wrung out her soaking coat and shook her hair as if that would dry it. She laid an umbrella against one of the railings. It was May.
"Can I come in, please?" May asked nervously. I nodded and she darted inside. She took her raincoat and hung it on a hook so it would dry. She slipped off her boots, too. She followed me into the living room and sat on the couch. "Thana, we need to talk. When I got home, my mom told me that I had gotten a phone call from the hospital telling her that my grandfather had unfortunately died about a few hours ago. I want to know if you gave the nurse my number yesterday." I nodded. "Did you know that man would die today?" I nodded, avoiding her eyes. She sighed and said with a rather annoyed voice, "Listen, I know you might not feel comfortable talking to me, but you're going to have to. No more silent head nods. "
I almost nodded again, but caught myself and said, "All right, I understand. And, yes, I did know he was going to pass away today."
"Then why didn't you do anything?" May questioned. "You could have saved him!"
"Understand that yesterday, I didn't know how he was going to die. For all I knew, if I tried to help him, I might have caused his death," I explained as calmly as I could.
"Why did you tell the nurse to call me?"
"You asked for proof. It was the only thing I could think of. If you remember, we're a bit short on time."
May looked confused for a minute then paled. "New York," she whispered.
"It's true. This Sunday, people will die. I don't know how though," I told her.
"We have to do something, we can't let them die," May rambled. In some part, far off in my mind, I was happy that she said we not me.
"I don't know what to do. What can I do? I just don't know. I'm almost beginning to believe we can't do anything to help them." I told May what had been bothering me.
![If We Don't Make It - [GxG] [wlw] by Camillekna](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/371803734-80-k224754.jpg)
"We haven't even tried. And I have an idea on how we can, if you're willing that is." May looked nervous at what I would say.
"Tell me, please. Because I want to help, but I don't want to do it alone. What if I don't save anyone? Their death will be my fault!" I told her.
"They were going to die anyway. You wouldn't be killing them, you'd be trying to save them. You're not the reason why people die. You just have the option of changing when they will die. Now, do you want to hear my idea?" It took me a minute to process what she said. What she had said was true. It wasn't my fault when people died. I smiled unconsciously. I hadn't really thought of that.
"Tell me what you think we should do," I said, feeling a bit happier now.
"Go back to New York," May said confidently. "We don't know enough to help anyone. Go to New York and get more information."
"So we go to New York and find out about the dates. Like talking to people to see what they're doing on Sunday?" That could work. We could go together and May would ask people what they plan to do while I found people with the date 4/23/12.
"No, you go to New York and find out about the dates," May said, as if it was obvious.
"What, why me?" I didn't want to talk to anyone or go to New York alone.
"I can't go because I would be noticed. My brothers and sisters and my mom and dad would notice."
I crossed my arms and glared at the wall. I have family, too. I think Mom would notice if I disappeared for the weekend. "People would notice if I left." They would, right?
"Yes, but more people would notice if I left. Besides, what can I do that you can't? All you have to do is talk to people." I sighed because that was the point. I didn't want to talk to people. "If you go, then I can stay here and help you."
"How could you help from here?" I didn't want to do this alone, but now I seemed to be.
"If you found out what was going to happen on Sunday, then I would do research on how you could stop it." I didn't really have anything else to say. I still thought about May's ideas. Would it work? The silence between us wasn't awkward, it was the silence that happened after two people had talked for a long time and didn't have anything left to say.
May looked at her watch, looking for a way to leave without being rude. At least that was what I thought. "Think about it. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I nodded. May stood up and I followed her to the door. She took her coat, which was now dry, and put it on. She stopped randomly and looked me in the eye. "You know when my family will die, when I will die?"
I turned away from her. It wasn't a question, but more like a statement. "Yes." It was that simple. I took a quick glance toward her and saw her nod. She looked concerned for me, worried about me.
I heard her open the door. "Bye." But I didn't hear the door shut. I looked toward the door and saw May standing there watching me. Waiting for me to say something.
"Bye," I said. She smiled at me and waved. She took her umbrella off the railing and opened it up. I watched her walk down the driveway until she disappeared, then I shut the door.
I went back into the living room and sat down on the couch. What should I do? Should I go along with May's plan? The thing that was wrong with May's plan was that there was still a chance that it wouldn't work. If I was going to do something, I wanted to do something that was guaranteed to work. I didn't know what else to do, but I had to do something. Right?
I let my head fall onto my hands. I had a headache. What to do, what to do. And it still bothered me about what May said about no one noticing that I would be gone. Mom would definitely notice, but would anyone else? The art director maybe. But no one from my class would. I didn't even think some of my teachers would notice. And I tried to distance myself from people; it was something that came naturally. I didn't even like talking to people. I felt so lonely. Why did it hurt when May said no one would notice if I disappeared?
I heard the door swing open and then there was laughter. "Thana, come meet Dave!" I heard Mom say from the hallway. I lifted my head from my hands and looked toward the hall. I guess I should. When I reached them, Mom and Dave both laughed. She laughed so hard, she had to lean on Dave for support. When she saw me, she ran over and hugged me. "Oh, you're okay, great!" She wasn't laughing anymore, but had a huge smile on her face. "Come say hi to Dave." She took my hand and pulled me toward the door.
Dave smiled kindly and took my hand in his. "It's nice to meet you. Your mother told me a lot about you." My hand went limp in his. I didn't move or speak.
Mom chuckled and said, "Only nice things." But when I didn't respond, she looked worried. "I swear I only said nice things."
I let my hand fall to the side of my jeans. All I could do was stare above Dave's head. "I need to go," I said aloud for anyone to hear. I took my coat and ran outside. It still rained, so I pulled the hood over my head tightly. I walked down the hill when I heard Mom call me. Eventually, she stopped or I was just too far away to hear her. My mind felt numb and I wasn't aware of where I was going. When I reached the bottom of the hill, I knew where to go. I wanted to go somewhere where I could think, alone. Somewhere where I felt safe. I went to visit my father.
It was truly ironic how unlucky I was. I just couldn't believe it. This was bad for Dave, my mom, and me. Probably Dave more than anyone else. Dave was going to die in a year. Now that the shock was over, I could think rationally. It wasn't a long time for someone to live. I just hoped Mom didn't get too attached. If she did, then it would be like my father all over again. But what was I going to do, separate them? I think my mom deserved friends, but when he died, she would be devastated. What should I do? Leave it be and not get involved or help them?
It wasn't raining as hard anymore and I was finally under the weeping willow tree. I walked around the tree a few times before leaning against the trunk. "What am I going to do, Dad?" I looked at the trunk of the tree and sighed. "The right thing to do is to go to New York and try to help save everyone. Isn't it?" I pushed my head against the wood of the tree. Headache, please, please go away. I want to talk to someone and the only person around is my dad.
"Dad, what should I do about Mom? I want to help her. I don't want her to befriend Dave because when he dies, it will crush her. But she needs a friend since I won't always be there for her." It was colder now, so I pushed myself off the tree and buried myself deeper in my coat. I turned toward the tree and watched it. My headache wasn't going away. It was pounding and getting aggravating. Then something dawned on me. "You know, this is your fault!" I told the tree. "If you were still here, then I wouldn't be in this position."
I knew I wasn't being fair, but I wanted to blame someone else other than myself. "Why did you have to die? Why did you leave Mom and me alone? Leaving Mom alone and broken! Me, nine years old, having to see people's deaths every day and everywhere? Why!" I screamed at the tree. In my mind, I yelled at my dad. I let all my anger out. And for some reason, it felt good. Then I decided something. "I'm not going to let other people die like you did. I'm going to save them like I should have saved you, so others will never be alone like I am! I will and I'll save Dave, too, so Mom won't be lonely for the rest of her life! Because of you! It's all your fault! Everything!" I've never felt this mad at anyone. My hair was slick against my face and I was wet from head to toe. My voice was hoarse from screaming. I wiped away my tears with my sleeve, which didn't make my face any dryer. I rubbed my eyes with my hands. They hurt from staring at the tree for so long. "I'm leaving now and I won't be coming back until after New York. And I promise you, I will save everyone," I said with as much bitterness as I could.
I turned my back to the tree and pushed away the tree's long branches. I heard a boom of thunder and dropped my head. Perfect.
