MEMORIES (billy/eddie)

Letter

you passed two hours next to billy, waiting for him to wake up. max had to leave for school but you promised her you'll call when he wakes up. you got in the bed next to him, resting your head on his chest. you needed to feel him breathe. tears were falling by themselves on your cheeks, and you were drawing imaginary forms on his torso.

"- this teddy bear is ridiculous." you heard a raspy voice say.

you shook your head up and saw billy looking at you. you smiled and hugged him tighter than you ever had. he laughed and winced in pain a little bit.

"- billy I'm so sorry, I love you so freaking much !" you screamed still hugging him.

his arms wrapped around you made you feel like you could breathe again. he was okay.

"- y/n you're going to kill me if you don't let go." he said

you let go of him and caressed his cheek gently. he kissed your hand softly before holding it in his.

"- you scared me to death hargrove, I swear." you said

"- i was scared too. not just to die. I was scared of dying with these last horrible words I said about you. I didn't mean anything I said babe, really. I was ..."

"- angry ? I know." you cut him off and smiled.

"- yeah ... I just remember wanting to turn the car around to come back to you and apologize when this asshole ran into me." he confessed while rubbing his forehead.

you handed him a glass of water and he took it. you also handed him the card next to the teddy bar.

"- here, it's from max." you said.

"- little red head cares about her shitty brother, finally." he giggled.

you knew it meant a lot for him. but of course, there was no chance mister Hargrove would get emotional about maxine. you sat again at the end of the bed and he started reading it out loud.

"- Dear Billy, I don't know if you will ever read this. Two years ago, I would have said, 'That's ridiculous, impossible.' But I'm just going to stop assuming that I know anything. So much has happened since you left the house. Your dad is a total mess. He and my mom started getting into fights. Bad fights. Basically, ever since you left, everything's been... A total disaster. And the worst part is, I can't tell anyone about how it hurt when I heard what happened after you took the car. I play that moment back in my head all the time. And sometimes I imagine myself running to you, pulling you away. I imagine that if I had, that you would be okay. And everything would be right again. I imagine that we could've become friends. Good friends, like a real brother and sister. And I know that's stupid. You hated me.I hated you. But I thought that maybe we could try again. But that's not what happened. I stood there and I watched. I watched you being yelled at, and taking the car way too drunk. For a while, I tried to be happy at home. Normal. But I think that maybe a part of me left that day too. And I haven't told anyone this. I just can't. But I had to tell you. Before it's too late. If you even read this. I really hope that you will. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, Billy. Love, your shitty little sister, Max." he read, and you heard his voice crack from time to time.

you looked at your feet, and felt bad for her. you took billy away from her, even if they didn't really get along, you knew he always kept an eye on her. she needed him home, when Neil got bad at her mom or even at her. and you were being selfish by wanting billy all to yourself.

"- you should call her." you said, looking at him.

billy turned his head to look at you and sighted.

"- you know I'm not good at saying things ... like that."

"- then you should maybe go back." you tried, afraid of his answer. but you knew max needed billy.

he looked at you for seconds, trying to consider what you just said.

"- y/n, I can't. I'm not leaving you to go back to this hell." he said under his breath.

"- but you have to, you can't just ... leave her alone in there." you replied.

billy swore to think about it, and you went to call everyone to say he was doing better. you needed to go to school even if you missed first period. you kissed him on the lips and hurried out of the hospital to hop on your bike and pedal to school. you arrived right on time for second period and sat in class.

Steve arrived right after you and sat next to you. you two chatted a little bit and you told him billy was doing better. he also told you about Tina's halloween party and asked you if you'll go. you didn't know yet, you wouldn't go to a party without billy.

you went to the cafeteria and tried to find max, but she was nowhere to be seen. you just wandered around the cafeteria and saw Eddie waving to you to sat with Hellfire. you smiled and headed towards him. you sat between him and Dustin who greeted you like a queen.

"- red-handed rhenira, our icon." he said and everyone laughed.

they then started a conversation and Eddie got closer to you. he stole a cherry tomato from your salad and winked at you.

"- i waited for you before first period, where were you ?" he asked.

"- billy had a car crash last night. I went to see him at the hospital." you said

Eddie stopped moving for a second, shocked, before resting his hand on yours.

"- what ? is he okay ? how do you feel ?"

"- I'm good ... actually he woke up and apologized. he's going to be okay. I just felt very guilty because of last night."

"- hey, wasn't your fault."

"- I know I just ... I don't know." you stuttered.

he caressed your back gently and you gave him a weak smile. you all finished eating before they all ran to class. Eddie grabbed your hand before you could leave and smiled.

"- wanna skip this afternoon and smoke in the woods ?" he proposed