The Saltport ATM

6. All the Little Details

My only consolation is the food waiting at the table when I return. The burger looks as good as it did in the photo — what a first! Red beets and caramelized onions elevate the perfectly fluffy burger bun, all piled atop a pub-style patty. I inhale the savory burger smell before taking a bite.

It's everything I want: juicy and crunchy, sweet and umami, buttery yet fresh-tasting, hearty yet oddly light at the same time. The fifty dollars is well worth it.

Across the table, I notice Right-Scar's gaze trained upon me. Without looking, he stabs a lettuce leaf and tofu cube and raises the bite to his mouth. He chews slowly for a long time, perhaps a minute, before swallowing. The whole procedure is so unnerving, I focus my attention on Two. Beside his empty glass, his lunch sits untouched. A glum expression clouds the prince's face as he rests his chin in his hands.

"How's your lunch, Two?" I force cheer into the question. "Is everything okay?"

"My stomach doesn't feel so good," he says with a slight groan.

What do you expect after downing that huge shake in five minutes?

"Why don't you try the steak?" I ask. "Some solid food might make you feel better."

Two shakes his head. "I'm too full to eat. Can we go?"

Frustration wells inside me. I probably spent five-hundred dollars on his meal, perhaps even more. If he thinks he can let it go to waste, he is dead wrong.

I lift the snow-white napkin beside my plate, dabbing at the grease that stains my lips. "I think it's time for a second etiquette lesson. First of all, it is generally considered improper to place your elbows on the table. Sit up straight to project confidence and culture. People will look more favorably on you." Two drags his eyes from the plate to me. Sensing no reply, I continue. "It is also extremely rude to not eat the food that another person has bought you, especially when said food costs quite a lot of money."

"How was I to know that a shake would be so filling?"

"It's the principle of the matter," I say with a sigh. "At least pretend to eat small bites during the meal. This is basic human etiquette." Two blinks at me. "Go on. Taste at least a tiny bit."

Two drags himself upright, closing his fist around the fork. He stabs it into the meat as if it were a dagger. He gives it a tug, but the tines won't budge.

"Now what?"

"Use your knife," I say. My patience is running thin, and it takes all my willpower to keep from snapping at him. Two saws at the steak with a butter knife. The only reason why it works is because the meat is so tender, it practically falls apart. Two's fork loops in the air a few times before he swoops in for a bite. His eyes pop open, and he starts to chew more rapidly.

"Say, this is pretty good!" He shovels another few bites into his mouth.

"It is often a good idea to slow down while eating," I say. "It helps the food to digest better. And it makes room for conversation."

"Co-vo-bub-bub?"

"Don't talk with your mouth full."

Two chews, swallows. "If I'm not supposed to talk while my mouth is full, then how can I talk and eat at the same time?"

"You talk between bites. Like this." I use this as an excuse to return to my burger before it grows much colder. I savor each flavor, trying not to notice that all eyes are on me. "And now, I'll ask you a question. Why don't you tell me a little more about this luncheon you're going to?"