Neutral Reader
I wish I were drunk.
I feel woozy.
I want to drink and let loose, hear only muffled sounds, feel the burn at my throat whenever I drink something particularly strong. I want to drink so that I could forget and just live in the moment without a care in the world, so that I could numb the pain in my heart whenever I see you close with a man. I want to be free of the weight on my shoulders, feel like the wind, free to go wherever and do whatever I want. I want to not worry about the consequences of my actions. I want to be able to stare lovingly at you and pass it off as blanking out, nuzzle my face into your neck saying my head hurt, listen to your voice as you help me empty my stomach, hold your hand and feel your touch in excuse of being drunk.
I wish you were sober.
I feel giddy.
You're in the state I want to be in. Slurred words, drunken giggles, touchier than usual. You have no idea how much you make it harder to breathe, my heart beating faster every time you inch closer. You don't notice me watching jealously when you flirt with someone who wasn't me, or when I play boredly with the hem of my shirt, waiting for you to be too drunk to walk. You drive me crazy, especially with the whispered compliments and the roaming hands. I hate it that you don't know what I feel, Nayeon. Every time you do a 'friendly' gesture, it's torture to me. But the worst torture of all is when you told me you loved me with pouting lips, skirt uneven and clutching my collar, but I knew it wasn't true. Your eyes seemed to see farther than my face, and I didn't believe the 'drunk man's words is a sober man's thoughts' thing.
Until you woke up, clothed only in underwear and my oversized shirt since you kicked me every time I tried to dress you. "Where are you, Y/n?" my name rolled softly from your lips, and I responded saying I was in the kitchen cooking breakfast. You walked in, hair messy but in my opinion still breathtaking, taking a seat and asking something you've never asked before. "What did I do last night?" you mumbled, playing with your fingers. I flipped a pancake before answering. "Nothing stupid, don't worry." You frowned, eyes twinkling knowingly. "You're not lying, but you're not telling the truth either." I decided to chuckle as casually as I can, trying to keep my voice from shaking. "Oh, alright," I sighed, "you told me you loved me romantically." I turned, expecting you to be in silent fits of laughter and joke around. But you were just there, watching me almost nervously. "And?"
"And what?" I asked confusedly. "What do you think?" you asked. I didn't know why you were asking me that, but decided to be honest. "I wished it were true," I muttered. Wanting to avoid the awkward silence that followed, I tried to wolf down my pancakes. Before I took the first bite, however, you stopped me. "Can I kiss you?" you said hopefully. "Please." You put your lips on mine, stopping only to mumble. "I'd love to be your girlfriend, and for you to be mine."
Maybe I didn't have to be drunk, after all.
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-Iza
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Fanfiction𝕊𝕔𝕖𝕟𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕠𝕤 𝕚𝕟 𝕞𝕪 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕕 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕥𝕨𝕚𝕔𝕖, 𝕨𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕟 𝕓𝕪 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕤 𝕥𝕣𝕦𝕝𝕪 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕙𝕠𝕡𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕖𝕟𝕛𝕠𝕪. 𓆩♡𓆪ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕒𝕚𝕟𝕤 𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕦𝕒𝕘𝕖 (𝕤𝕨𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘) 𓆩♡𓆪ℕ𝕠 𝕊𝕞𝕦𝕥 #1 in hiraimomo (2023...