Even If It Hurts -H.S. AU

47

I lean my head against Harry's chest as he massages conditioner through my hair. The hot water falls around us and I hum in contentment when he runs his hands down my back.

Neither of us have said much since we got in the shower, and I feel like I'm still trying to process all of the information I just found out. I knew Harry had been with a number of women over the years, but never in my life did I think he would go back to Sara.

A memory of Gemma's wedding pops into my head and I wish I could go back in time and punch her like I wanted to, before Harry dragged me away. Part of me understands what he meant when he said it had just been a long time since someone said they loved him, but the other part of me wishes I could slap some sense into him too.

Sara has been obsessed with controlling him since they were kids. I fully believe she would do absolutely anything to keep him under her thumb, which is why the thought of them having sex makes me sick to my stomach. I know he's not an idiot, and he would never be vulnerable enough with her to put himself in the position of an accident. I'm the only one he's ever been that vulnerable with. At least, I think.

"Where did you go, Vi?" He mumbles above me, sliding his hands over my shoulders.

"Am I the only one you've had unprotected sex with?" I blurt out and he throws his head back a little, caught off guard by my question.

"That's what you were thinking about?" He chuckles and I nod my head, still waiting for an answer.
"You're the only one, baby."

"Good." I say firmly and wrap my arms around his torso. "Me too."

"What do you say we get out and get in bed?" He suggests and I nod my head again, reaching for our towels as he turns the water off.

He wraps his towel around his hips and grabs new sheets from the closet. I walk out into the bedroom and when my eyes land on the nightstand that used to be mine, I remember something. I rip the drawer open and dig around in the back for a second before I feel what I'm looking for.

"What are you doing?" Harry asks as he starts to put the new sheet on the bed. I smile wickedly at him and hold up a plastic bag with pre-rolled joints in it. His eyes widen and he chuckles, shaking his head at me.
"How did you remember those were in there?"

"It was my emergency stash for when I was feeling anxious." I explain and open the bag to pull one out.

"Are you feeling anxious?" He tilts his head at me and I glance up at him before I turn around to dig through the drawer some more.

"Do you have a lighter?" I ask, ignoring his question. He finishes making the bed and walks over to his nightstand and tosses one at me.

"You know the company has a policy against drugs." He says with a smirk and I shoot him a look.

"I'm sleeping with my boss," I deadpan, "I think I'll be okay."

He laughs softly and sits on the bed when I pat the spot next to me, both of us still in just a towel. I stick the joint between my lips and inhale deeply, holding it out to him between my fingers as I exhale smoke into the room. He takes it from me and takes a drag before he hands it back.

"Can I ask you a question," he says hesitantly and I raise an eyebrow at him, "or should I wait until you're proper high?"

"My tolerance has gone up in the last five years, and this weed is pretty weak," I mumble and he chuckles, "so, I suggest you tread lightly."

"What is it about Sara that pulls that reaction out of you?" He asks quietly and I slowly turn my head to look at him.

"You know the fight was not about her, right?" I cock an eyebrow at him, wondering if he could really be that dumb. "Like, maybe five percent actually had to do with her."