Aftermath: The outlasting Krishna-Arjun journey

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟙: 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕓𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕖𝕟 𝕞𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕠𝕗 𝕒 𝕙𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕠𝕟𝕖

Krishna's pov

It was a very broken lot that returned to rule Hastinapur. 

Krishna had been itching to visit them during the past month, but ascetics had made it clear that in order to cleanse one's soul, they had to be alone with their meditations. The day they were to return, therefore, he had been up at the break of dawn, impatiently restless.

His happiness was doused swiftly when Arjun spotted him and came over, and said in the dullest possible voice, "Greetings, Madhav."

His grip as they shook hands was faltering; it was as if Arjun was seeking an anchor to hold himself up. Well, that was one thing Krishna did not mind. 

Arjun's hair and beard had grown in all directions--it was difficult to maintain appearance outside palaces, but even during their 12 year exile, he had been better maintained than this--and worse, his eyes were empty.

I should have gone to visit them after all, realized Krishna, horrified, as he found the other four in the same state. What do the ascetics know?

Kunti attempted to pull Yudhishthir into her arms after he touched her feet, but he shied away and walked into the palace without a word. She looked awful as she gazed after her eldest--no, second eldest--son.

"Jyesht!" Bheem called, but he was not heeded.

To make up for their brother's coldness, Bheem, Nakul and Sahadev enveloped her in an enormous hug. Arjun made his way up to them, too, but did not let go of Krishna's hand.

***

"What did you do all month?" Krishna asked later, when the brothers had bathed and eaten, and were looking a little more like royalty than wild forest-dwellers.

"Nothing," said Yudhishthir. "Nothing at all."

Draupadi and Subhadra, who were present, both looked alarmed.

"I would not say nothing," said Sahadev. "We contemplated on the punishments we deserve quite often."

"You deserve no punishment," said Draupadi harshly. "You fought a war and emerged the victor. There is nothing sinful about your actions."

"I second you," said Krishna, sending an anxious glance at Arjun, who sat up, his eyes narrowed.

"The four of you have not committed any sin," he said in a cold, harsh tone. "It was I who killed our brother, and I who bear the entire responsibility. That it was apparently on your orders that he was killed is untrue and senseless--the King of Anga and I were always destined for a battle to death. Even if you had not commanded it, it would have happened."

"But you did not know," said Bheem immediately. "We were not aware of the truth, and even if we were, do you really find it so easy to forgive the man who called for our wife to be disrobed in court, jyesht, Arjun?"

Draupadi looked away.

"It was our fault as much as his," said Arjun. "If we can forgive ourselves--"

"We forgave ourselves only, and only after Panchali forgave us," said Bheem fiercely. "And that took years. The King of Anga probably never even repented his actions."

Or possibly he did, thought Krishna. But he dared not speak aloud; he was terrified that if he entered this conversation at all, Arjun would ask him if he'd known.

But Arjun, Krishna reflected often, could not harbour a single negative thought about his loved ones.

"Until Panchali forgives him, we have no right to forgive him," Bheem said.