Addicting Love | Jaden Hossler Fanfic

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Ellie-Present

Being out with Lacey last night felt like exactly what I needed.

A distraction from all the bullshit that has been my life...well my life with him. And I feel like that sounds harsh. But also not harsh enough at the same time. I feel like I have dealt with so much and at the end of the day Jaydn always chose Jaydn and he's always done what he wants to do. And right now I need to start doing what I want to do which is focusing on myself.

Focusing on myself distraction free. Except there is a distraction...

I met this guy last night who asked for my number...and I was honest with him I told him I just got out of a really...really long relationship and I'm not looking for anything right now.

And he was cool with that. Him and his friends hungout with Lacey and I all night. They were all really chill, and he seems super sweet. But, again I do not want anything.

I decided I was going to go to a spin class this morning, and then I'm stopping for coffee before going into work....who am I?...As i'm leaving spin...which absolutely kicked my ass by the way...Christian texts me...

Christian: Hey :) A friend of mine bailed and I have an extra ticket to the TrailBlazers game tonight, would you want to come with me...as friends I promise.

Ugh...as tempting as that is, I have to say no. Friends or not...I'm not ready to go on a date, thats not called a date, but is going to feel exactly like a date.

Jaydn and I haven't even been broken up for a full day...and I couldn't even commit to saying we were broken up I said break... so no I have to say no.

Me: I'm sorry Christian, I can't...I appreciate the offer though.

Christian: It's courtside...;)

This guy must really think I care about Basketball...I surely do not.

Christian: Please otherwise I would have to go alone and it would be super boring...and embarrassing.

He's persistent.

Me: Fine. But as friends.

I don't know why I gave in and this is probably a horrible idea.

When I get into work and get settled I open instagram and see Jaydn posted to his story...he never really posts anything so I'm genuinely curious...it's a new song.

A new song...that feels 1000% directed at me...

I'm dead to him....he's happy I'm gone....he doesn't care enough to miss me...I wasted all his fucking time?????

How about he wasted all of mine!!!!

And closes out with 'I love you, but fuck you'

How about fuck you Jaydn! Honestly fuck you!!!

My blood is boiling after listening to his song...absolutely boiling. Because really....really??? I stuck by his side through everything...EVERYTHING. He's an addict for christsake...and I was still there. Still there to pick up the pieces time and time again. Yet when I decide I'm finally done he can write a song like that...how about this Jaydn...you're dead to me, I'm happy you're gone, I'm not going to care to miss you, and you wasted all of my fucking time!!!

I don't even want to give him the satisfaction of knowing his song had any effect on me at all so I'm not going to text him...in fact I am going to do one better. I'm blocking him on everything. Because I don't need to see that, I don't need to hear that...I'm just done, I'm fucking done!

And I'm glad I'm going out with Christian tonight...and maybe not as friends because I deserve to not care, and if Christian is a nice guy, maybe that's what I deserve. Actually I know it is.