Aria

Notice 7

I think this was now the time when I started to hate myself. Where I found myself not wanting to talk to anyone. Where I found myself not wanting to do anything. Where I found myself wanted to die. I felt disgust in myself. I hated myself. I didn't want to be me . I had slapped my best friend. Everyone that didn't dislike me at school does now. My mum is saddened by me because I told her I want her to go to hell. I told my own mother I want her in hell?! How could I do that? My mouth felt watery , I was gagging, I felt like I was gonna throw up but I never . Instead I lied in my bed feeling sorry for myself. Wishing I was never born.
"You are so pathetic" Aria said giggling to herself.
I ignored her. By now I have learnt to Ignore her remarks. I haven't been school for days. I couldn't. Not after what I did to Naomi . And mum, she didn't really bother either. She was avoiding me at all costs. Leaving for work earlier than usual and coming back later than usual . I tried to talk to her but she just ignored me . I deserved it though.Surprisingly, Aria hasn't really been bothering me too much lately . She's kept to herself in my room. Although dreams was another issue but like I've said. I've gotten use to Aria . She is no longer a bother in my life. I continued to lie on my bed feeling sorry for myself until I heard a knock at my door. I jot up . I thought I was imagining things but I wasn't the door knocked again. I got out of my bed to see who it was. I mean who really visits me apart from Naom-
My eyes widened. It couldn't be . I open the door with hesitation and felt a shock of pain in my body.
"Aria" It was Naomi. Naomi was out my door staring back at me. Her big blue eyes were glistening at me and her mouth was in a small pout. She was worried but oh my gosh she looks so cute. No. How can I think that after how I just treated her.
"Can I come in?" She asked me.
I didn't realise I was admiring her looks . Damn I must of looked creepy.
"Yeah, you can come in"I replied.
I moved out of the way and she walked into my room. She examined it first before plopping herself onto my bed. I sat on my floor next to her.
"Don't be silly" she giggled at me. She patted a spot right next her on my bed.
I say next to her like and obedient puppy. It was awkward a bit. I haven't spoken to her since that incident. Being fair though she did try to contact me but I ignored her. I was too ashamed to face her . Even now I am but I can't send her home after she decided to see me in person. She then grabbed my face. She signed.
"You look awful Ari"
I then found myself crying and she pulled me into a hug. I'm the one who slapped her . She's the one that is hurt so why is she the one that's comforting me? It doesn't make any sense. But I still sat like a baby crying in her arms. Eventually I game to a stop. And when I realised what I had done. I felt embarrassed. I covered my face and she laughed.
"You've always been the the more emotional one when we were young. You would always feel ten times bad than the person you hurt"
"Not just any person" I said
"Okay the people you care about"
It went silent again.
"Ari , what really happened when you slapped me."
I stayed silent.
"Ari you can talk to me. It's okay I promise."
I hesitated but then I started.
"There's something that around me that haunts me . Me everyday. I don't know when it started and why but the more she talks the more insane I go. She tells how I'm not worth it. She tells me I'm nothing. She giving me a reason to hate myself . A reason to die. And worst of all, that person is me"
"Me? As in you" Naomi asked
"Yes . And no. She looks like me but my younger self. The one we met as kids. And the reason I hit you that day wasn't me trying to hit you. I was trying to hit her . She's everywhere Naomi and I feel hopeless ."
The atmosphere went tense. Aria stared at me. But Naomi grappled my hand.
"Aria this sounds serious. You're hallucinating"
"I'm not hallucinating Naomi . She really is there"
"Aria I promise you you're hallucinating. I'm looking around and I can't see her"
"SHE'S RIGHT THERE" i pointed to the other side of the room where Aria was and she stood their shook. I looked to Naomi and I saw pity in her eyes. My face sank even more. At one stage I'd admit, I believed Aria was my imagination but eventually her appearance was so present that I just thought that she was here. Literally her own person. Tears streamed down my face .
"I really am crazy aren't I?"
Naomi pulled me into a hug and she began crying with me.
"Ari you're not crazy , you're far from it . You're the most amazing beautifulest person I have ever met and I am so glad that you're my friend. And if you are crazy then I'm crazier for being in love with you"
I moved away from Naomi, she was still crying.
"You-You like me. No you love me? You're in love with me?" I asked her, stunned by her words.
"Yes I have been , for years" she said still sobbing.
The room fell silent. The girl I've been in love for years feels the same as me.
"You think I'm a freak right, how can two girls be in love? It doesn't work"
I grabbed Naomi face and kissed her. Her lips were soft like a cushion and I swear it made my heart melt. I then put my head on hers.
"If you're a freak , then I'm freakier for feeling the same way"
She blushed and giggles.
"I get what what you're doing but that doesn't sound right" she said wiping her tears away.
"You know me, I've never been good with words"
"Yes , my Ari" she said softly and then she hugged me tightly.
"I'm never letting you go"Naomi said to me
I laughed.
"Yea , me either"