The Bad Jokes #2: The Blonde

Prologue (Gracie): Two Hearts

About six years earlier...

I was exasperated. I was trying to distract my two cousins, Rory Matthewson and Justice Buchanon, with the various rides at the fair to avoid the fight that was brewing between the two of them. Rory, for all the wrong reasons, was considering sleeping with a guy Justice and I didn't like, and Justice never backed down from a fight. Since I wanted us to enjoy the evening, I needed something quick to forestall their imminent blow up. I looked around the fairgrounds frantically.

"Hey, look! A fortune teller," I pointed at a little tent.

"Oh, they always have those at fairs. Totally bogus," Justice rolled her eyes.

"I'm going," Rory announced defiantly, just to piss Justice off.

"Madame Angelina," I read the sign. "I always wanted to try one of these, see if they're really psychic. I'm going with Rory."

Justice gave in with a groan since two out of three of us were for it. "OK, but whatever she guesses, let's go along with it," Justice grinned, letting go of her fight with Rory for the time being. "Let's have some fun with her."

We walked into the tent and peered at the dim interior. A relatively normal-looking woman was seated at a round table, a crystal ball in front of her.

"Ah, you three look like a bad joke," she murmured as we walked toward the table. 

We exchanged surprised glances; my brother Alexander always referred to the three of us as the Bad Jokes -- you know, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead walk into a bar. I was the blonde, Justice was the brunette and Rory was the redhead. Was this just a lucky guess on her part or did everyone see us together and think that?

"Ladies, have a seat," Madame Angelina indicated the chairs in front of her table. She was backlit with a light that made it look as if she was glowing.

"Here we go," Justice murmured.

"You're not going anywhere, especially not to college, if you don't get that calculus grade up," Madame said with a pointed look at Justice.

The smug look left Justice's face, leaving her slack jawed. I exchanged a look with Rory -- if this was news to us, that meant Justice hadn't told anyone about her calc grade.

"Now," Madame said, "was there anything in particular you girls wanted to know?"

"No," I said, "just maybe tell us our futures."

"Oh, that's all?" Madame said with a wry grin. "Shall I start with you, Rory? Or should I start with Gracelyn or Justice?"

"We...we didn't tell you our names," Rory stammered.

With a graceful flutter of her hand, Madame Angelina gave a soft laugh. "I wouldn't be much good if I couldn't do something that basic, would I?"

She gazed into the ball, a frown marring her features, then proceeded to tell Rory her fortune, freaking her out with the things she knew about Rory and shouldn't know -- couldn't possibly know since Rory had never told anyone. 

My fortune was next, and I was hoping mine would be as romantic as the stories that were rattling around in my brain. Maybe involving a pirate who time traveled or a cowboy from the old west --

"Hmmm..." Madame Angelina said.

"What?" I demanded, kind of freaked out just by that one sound. "What's hmmm? Is that a bad hmmm or a good one?"

The psychic looked up at me. 

"Words. Words. Words. So many words inside your head that need to pour out. Let them come out and tell your tales." Then her eyes softened. "He'll take your heart, if you let him.

OK, that sounded good. Very romantic. Right up my alley since I loved writing romances. But then she kept talking and pretty much burst my bubble.

"He'll take your heart because you're not careful, Gracie. You'll give him your heart too easily...but he already has another heart. Two hearts is one heart too many."

"What does that mean?" Maybe he was a transplant recipient? That quickly shifted into a story, about a heroine whose fiancé had been killed in a tragic car accident right before their wedding. The fiancé had donated his heart and the hero had received it. They meet somehow...

"He'll get into your words," Madame Angelina was saying, "and then he'll take your words. He'll decide which heart he wants, but you'll be hurt. Know this, though, Gracie: he'll be everywhere and you won't be able to avoid your destiny."

"Is he my destiny?" I breathed, not liking that this future man would hurt me.

"I can't tell you that," she said. "I've told you what you need to know: watch for the man with two hearts."

Then she turned her attention to Justice. 

And somehow, despite our skepticism when we walked into that tent, we all believed the futures she had told us, and we walked out very quietly. Full of conflicted thoughts, confusion and a little bit of fear.

The three of us would all wait many years for our fortunes' fulfillment, but we would also find out that Madame Angelina had not been wrong.

I would come to wish she had been wrong.