Love Days ♥♥ (B.A.P Fanfic)

Baby Steps

TRUTH----“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”

―Marilyn Monroe

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At this moment…. Jae will try to explain to me why dae is acting so ARROGANT towards me. And I hope I will understand him, or at least I hope that his reason really is UNDERSTANDABLE. Like I have a choice but to listen, so go on…..

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Youngjae POV:

What am I doing?? I love Hwa-Young, but if I hid the truth from her in exchange for her choosing me rather than Daehyun…. Would I be a happy? If I told her what Dae truly feels, it’s like I am betraying myself and forgetting m own feelings. But if I hid the truth, Hwa-Young MAY love me, but I would be eaten by my conscience. Taking advantage of the situation, taking advantage of the confused Dae who is my bestfriend and wouldn’t it be the same as stealing? So which is better… betraying me or others?

“Two days ago……”, I started talking, getting Hwa-Young’s attention. “Dae talked to me. He knew that I love you and he knew that he loves you. Then he told me ‘You’re aware right? That I like her?’. And ofcourse I know that he liked you, or moreover he loves you but, he himself is not aware of that LOVE inside him.”

It is very silent…. Silence that is so loud… so noisy, making ones ear hear nothing and see nothing but mere darkness. Though even without hearing a thing from Hwa-Young or even looking at her. I know she’s listening. I know she’s looking at me, trying to understand and reach Daehyun’s feelings.

“You said it, right? That in the yacht, everything is going great between you too. Which is just this morning, and then he suddenly changed his attitude towards you after our arrival here. There is a very big reason behind it. He once again talked to me upon our arrival, but this time he is very serious and he looks so confused. He told me weird things but I knew he’s sincere. This is how our conversation went on:

Daehyun: ‘Jae, I can’t do this,’ saying that made me confused and when I was about to asked him what it is, he continued. ‘I never felt like this. I want to be with her, I AM so much happier when she but the thing is I don’t know what I am feeling. I want to touch her but, if I get an inch closer to her….. I’m afraid that I wouldn’t be able to stop. Afraid that I would ruin her life and making her mine. I know I am very selfish, but what should I do when I don’t even know what this feeling is!!’

Jae: And so I asked him, ‘What made you think that I know the answer? You yourself cannot understand your own feelings, so how can I? You’re the only one that could answer your questions.’

Dae: He sat at the corner, sulking. ‘At first, I was contented by just being with her and I thought that I could control myself…. But after what happened during the party, I don’t even know myself. I turned into a monster. A monster who is trying to make a girl his own possession. And now, I am going deeper and deeper into this darkness inside me. I tried restraining myself, although before I realized it... I really can’t and I’m starting to crave for her.”

Jae: ‘So what do you plan to do?’

Dae: ‘……………..’ He left without saying a word and went to your room and that’s when Scarlet and he left without you.’

“He didn’t tell me what he is planning to do and even I was surprised when he turned arrogant towards you and I didn’t understand him at all. But then, I recall everything he’s told me and realized that he is planning to avoid you, or to be more precise, he wanted YOU to avoid HIM. How? By making you mad at him.”