Obsessed with you

Heart on fire

I ended up at a park bench. The serene, night-time sky glistened, an infinite field of fireflies. The cold air settled in, and a chilly wind blew occasionally. My phone had gone off several times, both from Libby and Joshua. I didn't have the energy to reply. I sat on the bench, completely numb inside. 

It was getting all too hard to handle. It feels like if one more thing went wrong, I wouldn't be able to take it any longer. My phone pinged again and I slowly looked over at it. 

JOSHY!! : katy!! Please. where ru. we can talk abt it, or we can not. its your choice, please just come back. i miss you so much and im worried sick. i love you. - ur brother

My heart shattered a little more at the sight of the text. They were worried about me but I just need some alone time. I picked up the phone, sliding up and unlocking it.

You: hey, im ok. im just at a park. i need some alone time plz. love you too

Joshua read the text and replied almost immediately

JOSHY!!: katy its midnight. please just come home for the night. im begging u. u can have some alone time in the morning, i wont bug you. just pls come home now.

You: ill be home soon, dont make urself stay up for me. ily, goodnight.

I shut my phone off, turning it on Do Not Disturb. 

An hour later I made my way home, shivering. I got to Libby's and climbed through her window. I saw Libby asleep on her bed and Joshua across the room on the floor, sleeping. I crawled over beside Joshua, falling asleep, wet tears drying on my cheeks overnight.

In the morning, I wake up noticing Joshua and Libby aren't here. I sit up quickly, wiping my eyes. I walk groggily over to her vanity, swiping a hairbrush and using it. The smell of french toast fills my nose, and I quickly change to go downstairs.

"Morning!" Announces Libby, setting a plate down in front of me as I sit down at the island in her kitchen.

"Morning" I say, hoping they don't try to bring up what happened last night. I plaster a smile as Joshua and Libby look at me worriedly. 

"Soo, are we going to sit here in silence or talk about last night?" Joshua mutters, dragging out the O.

god damnit, here we go.

"Listen, I don't want all this sad, soppy, pity shit. I understand that mom died, and I had a meltdown, it won't happen again and I'm very sorry you guys had to witness that and experience that."

They stared at me blankly for a few seconds. Joshua took a deep breath and let out a very long sigh, unsure of what to say next.

"I don't want you bottling it up, Katy. This is still very raw news and you're still processing it and taking it in," He assured.

"I'm not bottling up anything!" I stood up, my voice growing louder.

"Katy, you ran off last night without warning. I'm just worried about you" He stayed calm.

"Worried about me for what?! I'm perfectly fine! Yes, I got into a fight and yes our mom just died, and yes I relapsed! I und-"

I slapped a hand over my mouth, realizing I just blurted that last sentence out.

"Wait, what?"

"Nothing! What I'm trying to say now is that I'm fine and you guys don't need to worry about me!" I shouted, now panicking.

"Okay, okay, please don't run off this time, I just want to have a conversation"

Joshua walked over to me, placing his hands on my shoulders, locking eyes with me. 

"Katy, deep breaths, okay?"

We practiced breathing for about a minute or so, and finally made our way to the living room. 

"Katy, I think that you should start therapy.." Joshua muttered.

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Short chapter again sorry :(

Go to next chapter before you're finished reading please !!

(It's not an actual part but its an explanation to the late/short chapters recently)