How Did This Happen?

Chapter 12: HIM!

Those words....

It makes my mind scrambled for an answer. But unable to get one. Flashes of my past trauma cover my eyes.

"This will be out little secret."

His voice fills my ears. I want to scream but can't. My breathing goes rapid again.

"Don't tell anyone."

Tears start pouring down my face. I can't get away from HIM! I can never get away from HIM. HE will always be there, in the back of my mind, haunting me. Please! Anyone!

HELP ME!

A sweet voice echoes in my ears. I try and follow it but it's all quiet now. I can't see anything. The memories stop flashing before me. 

"April..." 

I hear a different voice. This one is more concerning and full of worry.

"Follow my voice." 

I slightly become more clearer and I see a light that's getting brighter and brighter. I kept following the voice and then more voices were coming through.

"What happened to her?" One said "I don't know. I was telling her that she was going to need to get stitches and then she started to have a panic attack." That second voice I recognized as Donnie's. "April, Do you hear me?" A hand was gently placed on my upper arm. I flinched and quickly turned my head to the voice. I see green eyes staring back at me, worry fills them. "Raph?" I whispered. My hand goes up to his cheek and my thumb gently rubs cheek bone. "Hey, can you hear me ok there?" Confuse written on my face. Why is Raph here? I watch as his unused hand gently lands on mine. "You're OK." I feel the tears coming back again. Why am I such a cry baby! I need to be strong but how can I when everything is moving so fast. So much has happened in the past three days. I guess that's what kind of broke the dam. Being transported, attacked, and injured never occurred to be something in my life. I lived a boring life with a somewhat normal divorced family, except for HIM. HE changed everything in my life and I looked at the world differently. Because of HIM I grew up fast. 

"April, come back to us." I didn't realize I zoned out. Ralph's hand was still on mine but it's now on my lap instead of his cheek. His other hand was holding him up so he doesn't fall backwards. I nod my head as to say I'm here. "You had a panic attack." Donnie steps up behind Raph. I was still in a daze, trying to process what Donnie was saying. I knew I had a panic attack but still it's hard to understand I had one. This wasn't the first time I had one. But the difference was I always dealt with them by myself. "I'm sorry." Was all I could mustered up to say. Raph let's go of my hand and stands up. He walks away from him and behind the group of boys. Weird. I thought. One second he's sweet to me and then the next he's back to his bad boy persona. I wiped my eyes and Mikey then ran in front of me. His hands go up and under his chin and his eyes go big and teary eyed. "We were so worried! What happened to you?" my face goes motionless and tells them what has happened. Donnie would chime in and explained his side of the story. 

Apparently, once Donnie was about to sew my cut up, I yanked my arm away from him and started screaming and crying, saying 'don't, stop' and 'please, not again' along with other words. He tried to calm me down but clearly it didn't work. My screams had alerted the others and they came running in. Raph saw me and screamed at Donnie if he did anything to me then ran to me saying my name. Donnie explained to the guys that I was having a panic attack and guided Raph on how to bring me back, since Raph had more quality time with me than the rest. My arm bleeds more making my clothes bloody along with the table.

After they explained what happened, the guys left except for Mikey. He stood next to me holding my hand while Donnie finally stitched me up. Donnie numb my arm so I don't have to feel the needle going through me. But Mikey still stood next to me, his hand in mine and his thumb caressing my hand. It honestly really helped me and I'm thankful for that. Mikey and I talked and got to know each other more. Donnie will chime in here and there as he works on me. Mikey will tell me stories about their adventures under the sewers before they are allowed to be up on the surface and Donnie will tell me some of his inventions he made down here.

Once Donnie finishes stitching me up, he wraps me up again and tells Mikey not to jump on me while I'm healing. I giggled because Mikey started pouting and said 'fine'. "Thanks, Doc." I had the bold move to kiss Donnie's cheek. I watched him blush and I giggled, a light pink dust on my cheek. I turn towards Mikey and see him pouting "What about me?" He whines. I smiled and said "Of Course! How can I forget my support." I gave him a kiss on the cheek too. Mikey brightens up and throws his hands up in the air.

"BEST! DAY! EVER!" He screams and then runs off to probably tell the others I kissed him on the cheek. I giggled at the thought of it. To be honest I never thought of Mikey as a crush. More like a little brother. You can yell at me all you want but it's the truth. I always see Mikey as a little brother.

"So..." Donnie starts. I turn away from the door Mikey ran out of and face Donnie. I smiled at him. He looks around, avoiding eye contact with me. "Sorry if that was sudden." I apologize. Donnie starts stuttering over his words. "N-no, it-it's fine. It's w-was just so sudden." He starts cleaning up the mess. "What happened?" I gave him a questionable look.

"Like what was going on in your mind that caused the panic attack?" I did an 'oh' sound and started fidgeting my hands. "You promise not to tell anyone?" I asked him, starting to get nervous. My hands are fidgeting as I look at Donnie for an answer. He smiles kindly at me and I can see the reassurance in his eyes. "I promise." I took a deep breath, feeling another panic attack rising. Donnie sees it and puts his hand on mine. "Whenever you're ready."

He was so patient with me as I ground myself. It took a minute or two for me to actually start talking. "It happened a year ago," Donnie pulled up his chair from his desk and in front of me. "My older sister was out for college and my twin brother was with my dad. I decided to stay home." Flash images go through my mind. My hands clench together to the point my nails dig into my skin. "My mom, my mom's boyfriend at the time, and I all went to this grill and bar place. The boyfriend was an alcoholic so he drank until he was drunk." I sigh, more images flash through my mind again that night. His face standing over me.

'It will be our little secret.'

Tears started to form again. "You don't have to continue." I nobbed my head, affirming what Donnie said. I didn't speak after that. I still haven't gotten over it. To be honest I never processed what really happened to me. I had to be the one to have it all together while the rest of my family was crying and getting furious with the man.

I guess thinking about that broke me and I cried. I flew towards Donnie, wrapping my arms around his torso. It took him a minute but eventually he hugged me back. It must be weird for him to have a random girl hugging him out of the blue......

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You know what, I take that back. It slipped my mind with April.

About two minutes passed when I stopped crying into Donnie's chest. "Sorry." I mumbled, whipping the tears from my eyes. He chuckled and said no problem. He hands me a tissue to use "we need a good cry every now and then." He smiles at me, his gap tooth showing. Without thinking I said "I really like your gap tooth." I wiped my nose and got off of the medical table. I saw a trash can and dumped my tissue in there. I guess I didn't see it but Donnie's cheek was slightly rosey. "Thanks, April." I turned around and smiled back at him.