𝐕𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐘 | a peter parker story

2 | except on midnights like these

That night, Peter woke up in a cold sweat. His hands were shaking as he shoved all his blankets off himself, he felt as if he was drowning and burning all at once, and when he gasped for a moment of relief- nothing came.

He so vividly saw May. She was standing right in front of him in this white space. He stepped closer towards her, her small speck became a woman and he ran towards the hope, with tears now streaming down his face as he screamed her name. But she just walked right past him.

She didn't see him, or even worse; she did.

She didn't remember him either.

"May?" He started. Tears spilled from his eyes, and his voice cracked. He was walking towards her until he fell to his knees, his head buried towards her legs and he sobbed, loudly.

Until she started to melt down, and no matter how much he tried to contain it, she was melting into her grave. And he felt that guilt all over again, this burning hatred covered him like ivy leafs, poisoning him.

The worst moment of his life all over again.

And when he woke up, he didn't feel any better.

For most people, nightmares were false. They were figments of their worst fears, things they never wanted to think about happening from pure anxiety. But for Peter, his nightmares were simply memories, he woke up knowing there was nothing he could do to change what had happened. And it killed him.

His room felt smaller than ever, and he couldn't bare to stay in there any longer. He thought about going out on patrol but the thought of being in his suit made his skin crawl, so he went in the hallway and out on the balcony. It was small and dainty and didn't have room for more than three people, but Peter liked it. It was like his apartment building, which he missed so bad.

But when he walked out, someone else was already standing there. And he could already tell who it was from the blonde streaks of hair in the moons eye. And straight away, Peter wanted to turn back.

And that's exactly what he did, but of course since he somehow screwed with the universe and it now hated his guts, his bad luck struck his way. Because when he went to turn around back into his room to avoid this conversation, he turned and kicked over something (he can barely recall now, something left over from the night before.)

He didn't even want to look down at what he had done, because before he knew it- Dawn was looking over at him.

Her hands were rested on the balcony's railings but her upper body was turned, she looked scared, and even slightly embarrassed. "Oh shit." She whisper yelled.

Peters face was scrunched now, his body completely still, as if being exactly silent and still would make him disappear completely.

She took a deep breath at his surprising presence, but laughed it off quietly. "Sorry. I didn't think anyone else would be out here."

Peter turned around to her, slowly. But he couldn't find any words to stay, he analysed her- also wondering silently how he ended up in this position.

But I guess he was staring for too long because Dawns eyebrows started to furrow, though her smile never leaving, and she spoke, "Are you okay?"

"Uh- yeah! Yeah. Sorry, just thought I would get some air. But you look busy, so I'll just go."

Peter never really had reason to talk to anybody anymore, it was as if he had forgotten how to do it.

"No, don't be silly." She moved over, not really making much more room but it was an obvious invitation for Peter that he felt rude refusing.

When he walked over, he got a closer look of her. She still had her long blonde hair with the light streaks framing her face, but this time she was wearing jogging bottoms, grey ones, with a grey shirt on top. What surprised Peter the most was that she was holding a cigarette.

She held it to her lips, but looked over and saw Peters face and put it down, she scrambled for the words to say. She seems ashamed of this habit, Peter could tell. "I'm not like an addict or nothing, I just come here at night because I know other people don't like being around people that smoke." She looked down at it, and put it out in a nearby ashtray. It was almost finished anyway.

Peter wasn't really saying anything, it felt weird to meet someone for the first time again.

Surprisingly, she continued the conversation even though Peter was being an absolute talking dud. "I'm Dawn...Miller."

This was insane.

"I'm Peter." He paused, copying her. "Parker."

She laughed at this and looked down, her hair following her eyes, so she pushed them behind her ears.

"You're funny, Peter Parker."

The night got quiet again, and the two could pretend to just stare at the moon or the late night drives passing by but, one of them was going to have to say something.

"So...you like coming out in the middle of the night? Very edgy and mysterious." He nodded, widening his eyes slightly with his sarcastic remark. She just rolled her eyes at him, as a small grin appeared on her face.

"Alright. Acting like you're not doing the exact same thing."

Her finger tips lay on the balcony's edge, she seemed to trace imaginary lines and wiggles on the rails subconsciously.

Her smile faded as she looked down. "I just couldn't really sleep." She admitted.

"Yeah you're telling me. It's impossible to sleep when the windows are so thin, it's as if I'm sleeping in a house built on wafer cookies."

Something inside Peter just wanted Dawn to cheer up and smile a bit. She seemed...gloomy. Almost, or maybe just tired.

But to his relief, she laughed at this, her nose scrunching as she turned over to Peter. Her eyes filled with slightly more life than before. "Well I won't be surprised if one day I found out you've eaten your room."

Dawn looked at Peter, her eyebrows furrowed as she wore a light smile on her lips. "Have we met before?"

Peter stopped. Looking at her immediately with widened eyes, it felt as if this was another awful dream. But when time passed by and he didn't wake up he knew it was real.

"Uh no- no I don't think so. Not met you before."

"Oh sorry, I just.." she looked away at his defensive tendencies. "I don't know. My mistake."

Dawn never really spoke to other people either, I guess you could call her introverted but really it was because she thought she wasn't interesting enough. She didn't stick herself out of the crowd in fear of denial. She stayed where it was safe.

Somehow she didn't feel this way with Peter. She didn't feel the first meeting anxiety she usually did, she felt like they'd known each other forever. She wanted to understand this more, understand him more. But in certain circumstances, it became harder to make new friends. Especially ones like Peter.

"Well, I'm gonna go now." She nodded. "Goodnight Peter." She smiled kindly, he smiled back, somewhat wondering how he ended up in this situation. But still he grasped for words.

"Night, Dawn."

How her name slipped his tongue felt too natural, it was completely off putting for himself. Although, Dawn didn't seem to notice at all.

And when she was gone, Peter put his head in the crests of his arms, which were rested on the balcony rails, taking a deep sigh.