Jenna Ortega Imagines

letting go - j.o

letting go - j.o

listen to: holding on letting go by ross copperman

-

The last night. This was the last night before Jenna was leaving for Romania for filming. You both sat snug on the couch, her holding you in her arms. You both sat quietly content, soaking up the last of your time together; knowing it was soon to come to an end.

The clock struck 11:00 pm. Four hours before Jenna's flight. "Y/n, it's time we talk about this," Jenna said quietly as if she didn't want to.

You both knew it was coming, you could only avoid it for so long. You felt your eyes instantly moisten with tears, your heart already breaking. You pulled yourself away from Jenna's grip, eyes meeting hers. Her brown eyes glistened with tears matching yours.

"I know," you muttered. A single tear rolled down your cheek while your mind raced a thousand thoughts you once avoided. Jenna used her thumb to gently wipe away the droplet.

"Don't cry, baby girl," she whispered. Yet she was crying herself.

When Jenna found out she was filming in Romania, she told you that it wouldn't be fair to continue the relationship you both shared. While it broke you - you agreed.

"I don't know if I can do this," you admitted. Now that the time was here, you couldn't accept it.

Jenna took both of her hands and cupped your face, bringing hers close to yours. Her brunette fringe tickled your forehead.

"You can. We can," she said, tears falling from her soaked eyes onto her pink flushed cheeks. She lied, she was also uncertain if she would be able to handle all of this without you.

You let out a cry, biting down on your lip right after it escaped to prevent any more from slipping. You knew this was the right choice, you couldn't hold her back from the opportunity of a lifetime.

"Hey," she interrupted you from your thoughts. "I love you. I'll never stop loving you, y/n. You know that, right?" Her voice quivered as she spoke. It pained her to have to do this to you. It pained her to do this to herself.

You nodded silently, looking back down at your hands as you fidget with your fingers. You knew she was truthful, but you also knew deep down, she would be too busy for you in the future.

"I'll love you too," you paused. "forever."

Jenna held out her pinky in front of your fidgeting hands for a promise. You interlocked your pinky in hers, holding it tightly. She picked up your face and planted one last kiss on your lips, one that you would cherish forever. Losing her was losing a piece of yourself. She was the definition of "right girl, wrong time".

-

It's been two years since that night. It took you months again to get yourself back together. You and Jenna called and texted each other daily when she first left but over time the communication slowed and then there was radio silence. Just as you expected.

From time to time, you would see a new Instagram post from her. Usually with her castmates, better yet, her new friends. You'd see a lot of interaction and playful flirting between her and her castmate, Emma Myers, in the comment section. A pang of jealousy would strike each time you'd read the comments.

The show Wednesday went viral and Jenna was now of the most-loved actresses there is. She attended countless interviews, award shows, and red carpets... This is what she wanted - while you couldn't be happier for her, you missed her.

-

You've recently decided to put yourself out there again and began dating another girl, Carmen. It's only been about a month, she's made you happy. But something didn't feel right.

You've found difficult to adjust back into the dating world with Carmen. There were moments where you'd laugh so hard with her, only to be reminded that's how you'd laugh with Jenna. The way you'd sit on the couch with her and remember that it was where you and Jenna shared your last kiss. Everything reminded you of Jenna. You could not let go.

For this reason, you decided to keep it a secret that you dated her or even knew her personally.

You couldn't gather yourself to watch Wednesday either. The way it sat on the Netflix's #1 show for months, her face appearing on your screen almost every day. Your heart dropped every time.

Carmen begged and begged you to go see Scream 6 when it hit theaters; you felt bad saying no. You agreed to go with her that next day, but when the day came you faked being sick to avoid seeing the girl that got away.

-

You were in your apartment kitchen, fixing up a plate of leftovers for you to have for dinner. Carmen sat on your couch watching Netflix.

Opening the fridge, you reached for the bowl that sat in the back. You heard a knock but thought Carmen just put her glass back down on the table.

Until you heard it again.

"Car, can you get that?" You shouted from the fridge.

Carmen paused her show and sat up from the couch. She made her way over to the door and opened it, it creaking as it opened.

"Hey - Um," you heard the familiar voice. She looked around Carmen's figure as if she were looking for something.

"Is y/n here?" The voice questioned. A familiar scent of perfume flooded your nostrils. You knew right away it was her.

"Oh my god," you heard Carmen say. "You're Jenna Ortega!"