tweedle dum and tweedle dumber

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Alice enters a forest. "Mister rabbit! Oh, Mister rabbit! Oh dear, I'm sure he came this way, do you suppose he could be hiding? Hmmm... not here, I wonder... no, he must have... Oh!, 'she finds tweedle dee and tweedle dum standing like statues in the forest' why, what peculiar little figures! Tweedle dee... and tweedle dum!" Alice says.

"Or tweedle dum and tweedle dumber" y/n says appearing above her again. "Tweedle dumber...?" alice asks whispering. "just wait these two are hilarious!" y/n says. "If you think we're wax works you ought to pay you know!" Tweedle dee says. "Countariwise, if you think we're alive you ought to speak to us!" Tweedle dum says.

they do a dance, and y/n chuckles. "That's logic!" They say. "Well it's been nice meeting you, goodbye!" Alice says, going to walk off. "you're beginning backwards!" tweedle dee says, both tweedle dee and tweedle dum block her way. "aye, the first thing in a visit is to say:" tweedle dum says.

"how do you do, and shake hands, shake hands, shake hands, how do you do and shake hand, and state your name and business, that's manners" both tweedle dum and dee say, bringing alice into an intricate hand shake, and y/n laughs at this. "hahahah aren't they hilarious?! i sure think they're funny!" y/n says, laughing so hard that shes spinning in the air. 

"this isn't funny!" alice says, looking up to y/n from the ground. "hm. okay then" y/n says sarcastically, smirking afterwards. "well, my names alice and i'm following a white rabbit, so.." alice says to tweedle dum and dee, getting up and going to walk away. "you can't go yet!" tweedle dee says, both tweedle dee and dum block her again.

"no the visit has just started!" tweedle dum says. "i'm very sorry.." alice says, trying to get past them. "do you like to play hide and seek?" tweedle dee asks. "or button button, whos got the button?" tweedle dum says, both or them conjoining. "no thank you" alice says, continuing walking away. y/n follows behind her, curious.

"if you stay long enough we might have a battle!" tweedle dee says, both getting into fighting stances, and pounding each other on heads and y/n giggles at this. "that's very kind of you, but i must be going" alice says. "why?" both say, leaning against some trees. "because i'm following a white rabbit" alice answers.

"why?" both say again. "yeah, why?" y/n asks. "well, i-i'm curious to know where he's going" alice says walking off. "ohhhh, she's curious! tsk! tsk! tsk! tsk!" tweedle dum says. "the oysters were curious too, weren't they?" tweedle dee says. "aye, and you remember what happened to them..." tweedle dum says. "poor things!" both say, taking off their hats and putting them to their chests, fake crying. y/n realises what they are doing and fake cries with them, even though only alice can see her right now.

"poor oysters!" y/n says, pretending to cry too. "why? what did happen to the oysters?" alice asks walking back over, tweedle dum and tweedle dee give each other mischievous smirks. y/n smirks as well. "oh, you wouldn't be interested" tweedle dee says, both tweedle dum and dee twirling their hats on their fingers. "yeah! you were looking for that white rabbit?" y/n says.

"but i am!" alice shouts. "oh no your in much to much of a hurry" tweedle dum says, continuing spinning their hats. "well, perhaps, i could spare a little time.." alice says. "you could?" all three say, tweedle dum and dee push alice onto a tree trunk to sit on, and y/n sits beside her. "their stories are great too!" y/n says.

"the walrus and the carpenter!" tweedle dee says, he elbows tweedle dum. "or the story of the curious oysters!" tweedle dum says. y/n claps excitedly, and alice gives her a confused look. tweedle dum and tweedle dee start dancing. 

~the walrus and the carpenter, or the curious oysters~

"The sun was shinning on the sea, shinning with all his might, he did his very best to make the billows smooth and bright, and this was odd because it was the middle of the night. The walrus and the carpenter were walking close at hand, the beach was white from side to side but much to full of sand. 'Mr walrus', said the carpenter: 'my brain begins to perk, we'll sweep this clear in half a year, if you don't mind the work" tweedle dum and dee say.

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"Work? Uh, pfft, brrrr! Uh the time has come..." the walrus starts. "...the walrus said..." tweedle dum and dee say. "...to talk of other things. Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, and cabbages and kings, and why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings, callooh, callay, no work today! 'the walrus takes the carpenters hammer' we're cabbages and kings!" the walrus says, taking the hammer and putting it around the carpenters neck, throwing him aside. 

the carpenters head falls into a hole above the ocean and he looks at the oysters at the see floor. the carpenter gets his head out from the hole and turns to the walrus, whistling and gesturing that there's food. the walrus looks excited by this, and runs over, before he notices the carpenter about to jump in the water. the walrus pulls him aside with his cane, gestures no, and he walks into the ocean. 

the walrus knocks his cane on the shells of the oysters. "oh uhhhh, oysters, come and walk with us. the day is warm and bright! a pleasant walk, a pleasant talk, would be a sheer delight!" the walrus says, wearing a mischievous smile, the oysters look interested and curious. the carpenter dips his head back into the ocean. "yes, and should we get hungry on the way, we'll uh... stop and have a bite!" the carpenter says. 

the walrus looks annoyed at the carpenter and whacks him in the head with his cane a few times. "but mother oyster winked her eye and shook her heavy head, she knew too well this was no time to leave her oyster bed" tweedle dum and dee narrate, mother oyster looks at the calendar. "the sea is nice, take my advice, and stay right here" mother oyster says. "mom said" tweedle dee and dum narrate.

the walrus looks annoyed, and sprinkles his smoke onto mother oyster as he says. "yes, yes of course, of course!" he shuts her shell shut. "but eh... haha! the time has come my little friends to talk of other things, of shoes, and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings. and while the see is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings 'the walrus pinches one of the oyster's cheeks' haha! callooh callay, come run away! we're the cabbages and kings" the walrus sings. 

the walrus uses his cane as a flute and guides the oysters to land. the carpenter quickly makes a diner, and the walrus and the following oysters walk inside. the oysters and the walrus get seated, and the walrus ties a napkin around his neck. "hrmmm, well now, uh... let me see... 'the carpenter sits down' Ah, a loaf of bread is what we chiefly need" the walrus says, gesturing the carpenter to get bread. the carpenter leaves to get some bread.

the walrus grabs two of the oysters, and smiles mischievously. "so how about some pepper, and salt, and vinegar, aye?" the carpenter asks, coming through the kitchen doors. "oh, yes, yes splendid! haha, very good indeed!" the walrus says, quickly putting the oysters down, and grabs a menu to block his face. the carpenter smiles and leaves. 

the walrus puts the menu down and says. "now, if you're ready, oysters dear... haha... we can begin the feed" the walrus says. on the menu it says 'special today oysters on the half shell'. "feed?" the oysters say nervously. "oh yes, ahh, 'he brings all the oysters close to him' the time has come my little friends, to talk of food and things!" the walrus says. 

"of peppercorn some mustard seed and other seasonings, we'll mix them all together in a sauce that's fit for kings, callooh callay we eat today, like cabbages and kings!" the carpenter says, balancing stuff on his hands and hat. he walks back over to the walrus, whistling and places the sauce and bread on the table.

the walrus is crying holding up a napkin to his eyes. "i uh weep for you, i -hic- oh excuse me, i deeply sympathize. for i've enjoyed your company, oh, much more than you realize" the walrus says. "little oysters, little oysters..." the carpenter asks, sitting down, and tying a napkin around his neck.  

"but answer there came none, and this was scarcely odd, because, they'd been eaten, every one!" tweedle dum and dee narrate. "hmm, well uhhh, haha haha haha, hmm... the time has come!" the walrus says, breaking through the door of the diner. the carpenter chases him with a hammer angrily. 

"we're cabbages and kings! the end!" tweedle dee and dum say. y/n claps, and alice has her hand resting on her lap. "i told you they told good stories!" y/n says. "that was a very sad story" alice says, looking at y/n still confused. "aye, and there's a moral to it" tweedle dum says. 

"oh yes a very good moral, if you happen to be an oyster, well its been a very nice visit..." alice says, getting up. "another recitation" tweedle dee says, both him and tweedle dum pushing her back to sitting. "i'm sorry but..." alice starts. "it's titled 'father william" tweedle dum says. "but really i'm..." alice starts again. 

"First verse: You are old father William, the young man said and your hair has become very white. And yet you incessantly stand on your head, do you think at your age it is right, is right, do you think at your age it is right? Well, in me youth, father William replied to his son, I'd do it again and again and again and I'd done it again and again and again..." tweedle dee says, as alice sneaks away. y/n looks back and forth between alice and tweedle dum and dee and decides to follow alice. 

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