Breath Of Death

Serenity.

      Serene became with child 2 months after Gabriel's death. She pulled me to the side and sat me down.
"Hey ladybug!" She always called me ladybug because if she ever saw one, it was on me or I was around.
"Hi."
"Whatcha up to?" Her smile told me that she was hiding something.
"Trying to sharpen my knife. What's up? Why are ya so giddy?" I chuckled.
"Oh no reason." Her smile grew even wider. She was almost teasing me. I stopped what I was doing to look at her because I could feel her eyes staring a whole in my face.
"Get it out already."
"I think we're gonna have a baby." My eyes widened and I almost dropped my knife.
"You think?! Oh my god! Wait! How do you know?!"
"Shhhhh I haven't told anyone yet! My boobs feel sore and I'm tired every second and I haven't had my period for two months."
"So I'm the first to know?! Oh my god stand up and let me see!"
   She stood up and lifted her shirt up. She was always skinny but I could see a little bump. It was easy for her to hide it though. I hugged her stomach and she hugged me.
   She waited to tell Javier until she was sure she wasn't going to lose it and when she did decide to, she took him for a walk so she could tell him. He was so excited. After everything we've been through, we needed this little bundle of joy. Dealing with losing GG wasn't easy and me and Serene were barely holding on but with this news, it felt like a rainbow appearing after a rainy day.
   Couple of months later, her stomach grew so much all she could do was help the ladies cook in the kitchen. Everyone watched out for her since she was the first and only pregnant woman in our community. We would sit on the porch of the big house and think of names together.
"So whatcha think ladybug?" She asked.
"Huh?" I got distracted by the bee that was gathering pollen from the flower on the ground.
"Galiano Atilio Alvarez for a boy. I want his to start with a 'G' for Gabriel and GG. Atilio is for Javier's middle name."
"That sounds perfect."
"That's not even the hardest part. I can't pick one for a girl, there's too many options." She chuckled looking down at her belly.
"Have you thought of anything so far?"
"Gracie, Abigail, Juliana...Oh! I forgot to tell you! I want her middle name to be Faith just like yours!"
I looked up at her with wide eyes. My heart exploded when she told me that. I almost cried at the thought of a little girl being named after me.
"She's gonna look up to you ya know." Serene said placing her hand on mine.
"Or he." I chuckled.
"Either way this baby is such a blessing!" She was glowing so much in that moment. Her hair was beautiful, her skin shining from the sun on her made her look like an angel, and most of all, she was the happiest I'd seen her in a while.
"Blessing..." I pondered on that word for a few short moments and then a thought came to mind.
"Yeah..." Serene was smiling to herself.
"That would be a good name." I looked at her.
Her eyes lit up and her contagious smile grew. I could tell she fell in love with it.
"That's it! Blessing Faith Alvarez. Oh a little niña would be so cute! I can't express it enough how excited I am for this little blessing!"
"Me either!"
   We hugged and watched the sun go down as we laughed with each other. That memory of her alone was a blessing to me.
   Then time quickly came for her to give birth. Her water broke feeding the chickens in the barn one morning and was rushed to the main house soon after. Her contractions started late the night before but she slept through them because it was early on in the labor. By the time they set her in the bathtub, her contractions were more frequent and stronger.
   I rushed to her side as soon as I got word and held her hand as each contraction hit. I hated seeing her in so much pain. She was in labor for about 10 hours not including the previous night. All of the women were in the room to help her the best way they could. Me and Javier were holding onto her from each side once she began to push.
   Her screams had to be muffled with a cloth so that she wouldn't attract any of the dead. She was sweating all over as she pushed harder. She had been pushing for what felt like 3 hours. As soon as it came out, they put the baby on her chest and she held onto it. The women moved me and Javier out of the way so that they could get all of the mucus out of its lungs and nostrils. They let Javier cut the cord and see the baby. I was struggling to see but Javier looked up at Serene and then me and said; "It's a girl! Tenemos una hija!"
   I managed to make eye contact with Serene and we smiled tearfully. She held her hand out for me and I made my way back to her.
"My little Blessing." Serene said looking back down at her little baby girl. Blessing let out the loudest cry and everyone sighed with relief.
   Serene rubbed her fingers along Blessing's head moving the direction of her dark hair. She was smiling and admiring her baby, but I watched as her hand dropped down to her side and her smile fade away. I remember it was slow and peaceful as she let her head fall back and Javier grab Blessing who was crying profusely now. At first I didn't process what was happening.
"Serene! Serene?!" I held her face and tapped it trying to get her to open her eyes. Then I looked back at the women and saw all of the blood that filled the tub.
"She's losing a lot of blood!" One of the women yelled.
"Do something!" I yelled. I held my head on her chest to hear her heartbeat. It was there but slow.
"Her heartbeat is slowing down! Help her! Help her now! What's happening to her?!" I pleaded out.
   The ladies rushed me and Javier out of the room as soon as I yelled that but it was a fight to get me out because I didn't want to leave her side. Javier held onto me and Blessing as I dropped to the floor crying.
   He always held his emotions under control but at the moment I saw that he was crying too. He loved Serene just as much as he loved his little girl. He too saw the woman he loved fade away from him.
   I couldn't handle being away from her so I threw myself against the door and broke the lock. I landed right on the floor and picked myself up to see her. She wasn't moving and neither was anyone else. They held their heads down as I struggled to understand what was happening. Serene had died.
"What are you doing?! She can come back! Bring her back! Her baby needs her! I need her!"
   I had broken. This was the moment that broke me. I felt my heart shatter and fall into the pit of my stomach. My throat burned and I choked up. Speaking wasn't even an option for me. My eyes staggered back to the sight of her. Tears ready to pour out of me. Serene was in her own state of serenity like a doe laying in a field of flowers sleeping.
   I moved closer and held her soft cheek. I moved a strand of hair out of her face and it fell perfectly back into the rest. Then, I laid beside her and hugged her. I could no longer feel or hear her heart beating anymore. They let me lay with her even after Javier said his goodbyes. I saw his heart shatter just like mine did when he saw her. He kissed her lips then forehead before leaving to get back to Blessing.
    I helped them prep her. I helped them change her clothes. I had someone bring me the dress she wore when she wedded Javier. I picked out her shoes and earrings. I decided to keep her ring and necklace that she always wore because I wanted Blessing to have something from her when she was old enough. I brushed her hair and styled it. I did her makeup even though she didn't need it.
   I even carried her amongst the other men to her grave and lowered her head into the ground. I never left her side until she was completely buried underneath that same old blossom tree between Georgia and Gabriel.
   Even after she was buried, I laid on her grave mourning her and praying she never died and it was all a bad dream. I wanted to be with Blessing and Javier but I couldn't bring myself to leave her side. I just wanted to dig her back up and bring her to life so that I could see her smile and feel her skin warm again. But I laid there unforgiving of the truth and still being by her side. I had to make sure she wasn't alone. I needed her to know I never left her.