MATURING!!

GOING SOMEWHERE ⁉️

We had finally arrived back home and to say I was excited was an understatement. I hadn't come up with a plan because I still didn't have a phone and every plan had something to do with me needing to call.

I know it would be easy to leave because he leave me in the house all day. A way was the only thing in my plans that's was messing it up. I couldn't call Patience and ask her to pick me up because I know she was bound to be with Chase so that was out the window.I couldn't call Kaydence because he was a fucking puppet, love him to death but he's was so young and dumb. Everything Melo asked him to do he did it. I couldn't call my dad because I didn't wanna put him in my situation.He had been booked with surgery for the last 3 months out of town. He used to do that when we were kids but this time it felt like he wasn't coming back, 3 months was the longest he'd ever stayed away from his home hospital. My only risk was to ask him about another phone. I could just walk but my pregnant ass wasn't walking no where. My body was already in distress

"When can I get my phone back " hopefully my question wouldn't start a argument

" when I feel like buying you one" I scrunched my nose

" I can buy my own phone I just need a way" I reassured basically reminding him he took my keys

" its too early don't piss me off talking about bullshit" I just shut up because I'm trying to leave

I took both of our clothes out the suitcase, they was already cleaned so I put them up. If I didn't he would've suspected something, so I made up my mind to pack when he leave.I don't know if he sensed that I was trying to leave but all of a sudden he was staying in the house.

" Kay you wanna go out to eat tonight" he yelled from the kitchen. I shook my head no like he could see me

" no thank you" I learned being out didn't always mean having fun with him,I honestly just wanted him to leave so I could too.

" patience and chase gonna be there" I did really wanted to go now because I hadn't seen Patience in like a week but I felt like he was playing with me. He wanted me to say yeah so he could start an argument about how I don't wanna be around him but wanna be around everybody else.

" no I'm okay"he already had workers in here painting the baby room. I don't know why because me and my daughter was leaving. He was making this pregnancy so stressful for me, I couldn't imagine being here when I gave birth.

He obviously wasn't leaving so I laid down. I didn't have a phone and technically no car, I was literally trapped under his wing. I couldn't sleep because I had bigger plans in mind so I got up going to sit on the balcony.

" Just jump" the intrusive thoughts clouded my judgement. I stood next to the ledge, only thing that was stopping me was the rail.I put my hand on it about to lift my self up over it. Before I could fully lift my self over I moved my hand

"I can't do it" I broke down on my knees and burying my face in my hands . I couldn't do it to myself or my baby.I was torn my life was not supposed to go like this, and I was too caught up in wanting to be with him. I didn't see the red flags clear enough.I sat on the balcony for about an hour before I drained myself with all the crying.

When I got back to the room he was sprawled out on the bed. I rolled my eyes and went to the bathroom so I could shower. Not even 5 minutes later the shower door open and he walked in

" what's wrong" he hugged me from the back laying his chin on my head. He never looked at my face to see if I was crying so i don't know how he knew I was upset. He had to sense it because he was literally just snoring.

" you" I kept it simple because it was no point in lying. I needed to be able to express my feelings to him. He didn't say nothing after that he knew he was the problem but never did anything to fix it.