Graceless

Onze

-EDITED 19/10/15-14/05/16

XI

                  

'I'm sorry Grace.' The cursive script was branded in my mind and my pulse quickened at the sight of those words. I closed my palm around the neatly cut inch of paper; it was as though he cut it out of procrastination—'Should I tell her or should she hear about it?' I think hearing about it would have hurt less; someone else would've been blamed for obliterating my heart, not him. I did not want it to be him; my heart felt like a wet blanket, like someone was trying so hard to twist and squeeze the tears out of me.

A cool breeze brushed against my neck gently and I blinked slowly, opening my palms as I exhaled with open eyes as the wind picked up. I watched as the blink of white vanished between the brush.

I took a step forward; I was wary at first, then I took another and another and another. My anxiety grew with each step I took. Green was all I saw, smelt and felt. I was sick to my stomach, my speed picked up. Everything around me was just noise. I tried hard to ignore it: the chirps, howls, hums, ifs, buts and maybes, but I could not.

"Knox?!" I shouted, I had no idea why I even tried.

I had no idea what I was doing. He's dead Grace, but I was not calling for him. I was calling for myself, enjoying the sound of the single syllable. I called it again and again until it was a part of the noise... until I was a part of the noise.

I giggled at the thought of finally fitting in. In the trees, under the leaves where everything was free, where everything was him. You know when you say a word and it loses its meaning? Well, that did not happen, the meaning lost me and I stood in the middle of the endless woods.

I was surrounded by monstrous trees, all making how fast I was going exaggerate itself. A blur of purple appeared in my peripheral vision and my neck snapped towards it. The plum coloured wings seemed to flutter in slow motion as I gazed at it helplessly with another 'Knox' stuck in my throat.

It held a pattern of silver like some sort of secret; I thought I was hallucinating it: the silver, the butterfly, the woods, Knox. The butterfly was closer now, a few inches from my face when everything seemed to go still. There were no chirps, howls, hums, ifs, buts nor maybes. It flapped its wings twice and I gawked at it in silence as it turned and started to fly in a straight line ahead of me.

I followed it in a daze-like trance, the silver on the wings left streams of white lines as the wings flapped. It was so tiny and it held so much beauty and power.

My thoughts were thrown off by the noise again. No, it was not the same noise; it was water. I was loud, fast and angry. I blinked a few times as the sparse canopy of willow trees came into focus just as the flutter of purple disappeared behind the one to the far left. I sprinted after it helplessly, not caring where my feet landed next. I wanted to see it again, it gave me what I wanted; a distraction.

The wind burned my eyes and I couldn't see where I was going. For a second my foot felt nothing below it, a pair of arms wrapped themselves around my waist tightly. I flinched and started panicking. My breath quickened and my eyes shut closed. I can't deal with this right now. If this happened to me a few months ago I would've shut down immediately.

"It's okay Grace," the voice pulled me closer and my throat tightened, "You're okay."

"No," I pushed him away and turned to face him, ignore the fact that he saved me from falling over a waterfall, "I'm not. Because you're dead."

I brought my hands to my face and I tried to press away the sobs escaping my throat.

"I thought you were gone," I gasped, "Just like everyone else I love."

I was hyperventilating and his arms wrapped around me as soon as the words left my mouth, I looked down and saw an inch of crumpled paper. 'I'm sorry Grace'. My eyes squeezed together tighter and my cheek pressed again his chest, engulfed in warmth and safety.

"I'm sorry Grace," he breathed softly, I could hear how erratic his heart beat was as opposed to his calm breathing, "I won't leave you, I promise."

His arms wrapped around me tighter and I closed my eyes.

"I love you Grace."

--

A/N

What was all that about??? :3 lol I know it may seem like they've been dating like two days but it's actually been two-three months mind you ;) all will be revealed in the next chapter seeing as it is the last one! I'm kind of stoked to be ending my second story (It's quite an accomplishment actually, I rarely finish anything but I'm determined to finish this). Thank you sooo much for reading this short update (which is really important!) but bear with me, please I promise you that a lot of secrets would be revealed in the next chapter and this chapter will make A LOT more sense c: kaayyy. Thanks so much for reading! I luhhhve you.

♥

Fleur