Lyubov'

DNA

"But you didn't have to cut me off

Made it out like it never happened

And that we were nothing." 

- Excerpt from Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye

 I swallow as the forbidden question seemingly echos throughout my brain.

Who is the father?

Brielle, just tell him as you rehearsed.

"Not you, if you're that curious," I lie, "I had a one-night-stand while I was on vacation and I realized I was pregnant... decided to keep him though."

"Oh."

The small sound that comes out of him is out of distaste but I don't know if I fully convinced him.

"Don't think I would ever want to have a kid with you," I seethe, giving him my finishing blow.

His poker face falters quite briefly, showing me a sadden expression and I bite my tongue to prevent myself from displaying any emotion.

"So when was he born?"

"It doesn't matter," I rush out.

He mumbles something inaudible, probably in Russian and then says, "How old is he?"

"Why do I always need to repeat myself, it doesn't matter, he's not your kid."

I'm getting nervous and I'm worried he's going to tell me that he, in fact, has looked up Ashton and knows every single bit of information about him but wanted to see if I would just tell him.

I know for a fact that's something Lorenzo would do.

"I can't just know? I'm curious about him. Is that a problem?"

I roll my eyes, "Yes it is, I don't want to give someone who I barely know personal information about a child. My child."

"Bri-"

I interrupt him instead, drawing an even deeper line between us, "Plus, you'll be leaving soon anyway so the information is rather unnecessary for you to know."

"It's not like I'm a stranger, we have history."

"Had," I correct, "I also wish you were a stranger. It would help me forget all the painful memories you gave me."

It's silent between us for the couple seconds, the sentence that came out of my mouth hangs in the air. He takes a deep breath in, contemplating saying something but instead, shocking me, stands up and walks out of the diner.

I bite my lip to stop myself from crying, just staring hard at the seat that's now empty. I blink, letting a tear slip down as I hurriedly wipe it away and I begin to calm myself down.

Why is life doing this to me now?

This always happens. It goes great for a couple of months, sometimes even years and then it all comes crashing down.

Had a happy family then the divorce happened.

I met Lorenzo and fell in love, then Natalie happened, showing me the real him.

Now. Look what's fucking happening now, I'm at peace with my son and then he returns to come and torment me, probably still thinking I 'belong' next to him.

I can't stand it.

I can't stand him.

- любовь -