𝔾𝕠𝕕|𝕐𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝔻𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞𝕏𝔻𝕩𝕗𝕖𝕞 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣 | 𝔹𝕠𝕠𝕜 1

Chapter 55: Journal/the trip to the past

Dear Journal,

This is the strangest thing I've ever felt in years. XD hasn't shown himself in weeks and I kind of have mixed feelings about it. One side of me feels like the non XD gods have answered my prayers and I can finally be free... but... there's that other side of me... who misses him. His voice, his hugs, his mere presence. He scares me but... ugh my feelings are all fucked up. I finally managed to convince Tommy and Wilbur to let me go... Wilbur. I'm actually starting to get concerned about him. He's changed, he's different... He's like a shell of his former self. Some times, he disappears for hours and some times I see him spying on me from the shadows. I miss Sapnap, it hurts. Damn even writing this not I feel pain, I know he most definitely feels the same. I miss Dream too... I've decided to end that pain and take a risk. I'm going to go pay the two a visit using the rails that Pogtopia recently built. I can't tell the others that I'm going on enemy territory or they will most definitely freak the fuck out. Especially Tommy and Wilbur. Tommy is actually after Sapnaps ass for stealing his horse so I might talk to him about that too now that I think about it. Tubbo and Techno have been on the grind for the upcoming wars with Manberg... God dammit this war is honestly so pointless. Schlatt is a awful person, that's coming from his ex... actually not even that. He's, like, way older than me. I'll get into that story when I can ensure Tommy or Wilbur can't find this journal. I'm honestly so worried about war day, there are people I love on both sides and... I just don't know. My heart hurts almost all the time. Anyways I'm packing for the trip, I alerted George about it, (yeah we are back on good terms) turns out he really missed me and was pissed that I left so abruptly. I miss them all, they were and still are in a way my family. Although I may never be able to forget what they did, I think that I just... just might be able to forgive them for what they have done.... For the longest time I've felt really... dull ever since the festival. Like, I know my feelings are there... but they don't actually feel them. All i've been feeling is just cold... cold bitter darkness. I might go talk to Niki or possibly this Puffy girl I heard was coming to the Dream SMP soon...

...

I miss XD...

I sighed as I shut my journal and put it back in my ender chest. I decided to go and pack while Tommy, Tubbo, and Wilbur were out doing whatever they do. As I was packing, I thought about the upcoming war. Was I really about to take place in this again? Its so pointless, both sides can coexist perfectly fine. Wilbur lost the election, it was his fault in a way. I huffed in frustration as I folded clothes and put them in my bag. I wondered why DreamXD let me go... Did he just... give up? After setting the greater smp on fire I doubt it but. God were so confusing..

I looked on my shelf to see my fishing rod. I bit my lip, I wouldn't need to bring it, i only used it for combat. I wouldn't need it... I huffed as I picked it up anyways, you never know what you might need at this point. After everything was packed, I snuck downstairs, the only ones who were here were Fundy and Niki. I easily snuck past the two and headed outside, silently closing the door behind me.

The wind blew through my hair as I made my way to the railway. My eyes looked up to see crows watching me, most likely Phil. I pulled out my crossbow and on purpose missed them, making them scatter and fly away. I picked up my pace, heading to the track. The wind became to sound like voices as they crossed through the tall trees. My body felt cold as I walked through the forest, memories of everything that has led me to this point. Apparently I zoned out as my foot ran into the side of the track, meaning I was already there.

Just wait a bit longer Sappy... I'm coming..

750 words