Heart Killer (Jeff the Killer x Male! Reader)

It's Just Self-Defense, Right?

I ended up staying in that bathroom stall until school ended. I wasn't in there for too long since I only had two periods left anyways. I rode the bus home like normal, but just stared out the window the whole time. I felt like I had no control over my brain, still don't really. I just keep replaying the conversation with Trent over and over again. I go over every detail in my head, trying to figure any way out of this.

It's night now and I still can't shake the anxiety. Even now that I'm sitting on my bed in my room. I just feel sick, and like my body is buzzing with energy. I'm no longer tired like I was this morning. I have too much going on in my head to fall asleep. I need something to help, or at least make me feel more secure.  I get up to look under my bed for the box full of notes. I find it eventually and pull it out before taking the lid off the box, opening it. I'm not sure why I feel like this would help me feel better, but it has before. It makes me feel more confident, I guess. I sift through the papers. They were almost like diary entries, usually written when I was at my lowest. When everything just got too bad for me. Most of them were pretty morbid. It was a way for me to secretly get revenge without actually doing anything. I pulled out one about Trent, this one's actually from a while ago. 

"I hate how he makes me feel like I'm nothing. He screams at me to do what he says. I hate how he belittles me, like I'm lesser than him. Like he can just shove me and say whatever he wants to me. I'll show him one day. That I'm not the person he should be picking on. Man, I wish I had enough confidence to fight back. I just don't think I can do it. I've already accepted all the consequences and figured I don't care about them. I need him gone. I want him to learn that I'm not someone he should be messing with. One day, hopefully soon, I can show everyone that I'm not weak. I just try to ignore him, that's all, I'm not actually weak. I will fight back and see the shocked look on everyone's faces. As I slit his throat and he drops to the floor, nobody will think I'm weak ever again. We'll see if I have the courage I guess."

I cringe a little at my edgy middle school self. "Yeah, well you definitely showed them (Y/n)..." I say to myself sarcastically. I continue looking through the notes when I feel my phone buzz beside me. It's a text from a random number.

*Picture of a switchblade knife*
After school, u better be prepared. -Trent

I threw my phone off the bed. Oh God...oh God. I'm actually gonna die, he's actually going to fight me. No, he's gonna fucking kill me! I grip my hair, breathing heavily. Calm down, what can I do, what is there to do!? I have to protect myself somehow, but how? I have no training in anything. There is no way I'll be able to protect myself. Especially without a weapon. Why did I ever think I could do this when I was younger...I couldn't even stand up to Lucy. Unless...

I could get a gun.

...shoot him right in the head. But only if my life is in danger and it's needed! Yeah, of course because I'm not a murderer. It would just be self-defense. That could work, if only I could get a gun without my parents knowing...my dad would clearly know if I took one of his. I don't know the code to his gun safe anyways. 

"Agh! This won't work!" I shouted out, still quiet enough to not alarm anyone in the house. I get up off my bed and run over to my bathroom sink, looking at myself in the mirror. I can already imagine the smug look on Trent's face as I lie on the ground beaten and bloody. I cringe at the thought; I'm being delusional there's no way I'll be able to fight back. He used to beat me up all the time in middle school and I was never strong enough to even punch him back. I feel my eyes start to water, why do I have to be so weak?

stop stop stop

I splash water on my face in an attempt to clear my head. I'm stronger now than I was. I'm not a scrawny little thirteen-year-old anymore. But still, how can I logically withstand him beating me bloody? I survived Jeff the killer, so why do I feel like I can't survive this. Wait...that's right. I look back up at my image in the mirror, I could just get Jeff to help me! Would he even do that though? I have no clue if he'll ever even come back, since he knows I won't rat him out.