Luna's Pov
"This job is eating me alive. I can't breathe anymore. I spent all these years trying to be the good guy, the man in the white hat. I'm not becoming like them. I am them." I hear from my side and decide to interrupt
"Hey! What are you doing, weirdo?" I ask him
"I'm doing the best speech from Donnie Brasco. Or actually, ten of me are doing the best speech from Donnie Brasco." Jake says pointing at the screens behind him. He can't be professional for even a second.
"Get it together man. Okay?" I say to him and turn back to the store owner. "The store was hit about two hours ago. They took mostly Tablets, Laptops and cameras." I say but get cut off by Jake playing an electronic keyboard.
"Sorry." He says and I roll my eyes and turn back to the owner
"I'd like a list of all your employees, whoever had access to the store. I'd also like to apologise for my partner. His parents didn't give him enough attention." I say and Jake calls out for me
"Uh, detective... I already solved the case. We're looking for three white males, one of whom has sleeve tats on both arms." He says and I walk towards him
"And how do you know that?" I ask him
"I had an informant on the inside. He's been here for years. Watching, learning, waiting. His code name? Fuzzy cuddle bear. He's a nanny cam" He says and for a second I thought he was serious.
"You got lucky." A scoff escapes my lips
"No I got here five minutes before you and figured in this giant electronic store there had to be at least one working camera." He says and plugs the nanny cam to the screen in front of us
"Hi bad guys! You did it fuzzy, you busted 'em. It's time to come home. I'm not sure if I can. I've been undercover so long, I've forgotten who I am. I have seen terrible things. I haven't known the touch of a woman in many moons." Jake says and I decide to go do my job
"Detective Alvarez! Do not walk away from me!" He says and follows me.
After we get the perps we get back to the station. Where Terry was giving a briefing
"Yes I did crack the case. So Alvarez would you do the honours?" He asks me making me roll my eyes and head up to the board and change the number on his side while he kept taunting me. After I sat down Terry began again.
"JP update on the Morgenthau murder?" Terry asks him and he stands up
"Yeah! Good news for all you murder fans. Earlier this morning... someone decided to shoot and kill luxury food importer Henry Morgenthau. Body was found by the cleaning lady, during her interview I deduced using expert detective work, that she had something super gross on her chin." He says and shows the photo of the cleaning lady and I grimace.
"I think it was flan." Charles says
"Charles says flan. I think it was butterscotch pudding." Jake says looking to us for suggestions
"Maybe it was just old person gunk." I say
"Yeah like how old people always have that gunk on them." Rosa agrees
"Oldie gunk. Could be, yeah. Anyone says" Jake asks before Terry interrupts
"How about we focus on the murder and not the old person gunk?" Terry suggests
"Crime techs are at the scene now. We're heading back when they're done." Amy pipes up from beside me.
"Okay, I want you on this. It's gonna be priority one for the new C. O." He says and we get up to leave
"Wait tell us about the new captain." Rosa says
"Captain Holt would wanna introduce himself. Dismissed." He said and we all got back to our desks. My des was opposite Jake's and Amy's was opposite Charles'. Rosa had a solo desk since everyone was afraid of her.
"Hey you hear anything about the new captain?" Amy asks us
"Uh, no, and I don't care. I just wish captain McGintley never left, he was the best" Jake says
"He was terrible. You just liked him cause he let you do whatever you wanted." Amy said and crossed her arms over her chest.
Flashback
Jake and Rosa are seated on chairs with fire extinguishers in their hands as everyone else around them cheers.
"On your mark, get set," he stats but stops as he sees captain McGintley step out of his office.
"What the hells going on here?" Captain asks
"Fire extinguisher roller derby?" Jake answers his voice not as excited as he was before.
"Okay." McGintley said and went back in his office as everyone started cheering again.
"And Go." Rosa screams and they both squeeze the handle releasing the agent making them go backwards.
Present day
"What's your point?" Jake asks
"If I'm ever gonna make captain, I need a good mentor. I need my Rabbi." She says and I agree. If I want a promotion this guy needs to be a good captain.
"Sorry, dude... but this guy's gonna be a washed up pencil pusher who's only concerned with following every rule in the patrol guide. Meep morp zeep robot captain engage." He says the last bit in a robot voice, not noticing the new Captain standing behind him.
"Is that what you think?" The new captain says startling Jake.
"He-hey! New captain alert. You must be the new C. O. I'm detective Jake Peralta. Great to meet you." He says hoping the captain didn't hear him
"No don't let me interrupt. You were describing the kind of person I'm gonna be. I'd like you to finish" The captain said
"That's not necessary." Jake says but the captain's face remained neutral.
"Or I could recap very quickly, sure. Let's see. I think I said some joke about being a washed up pencil pusher." He says his voice getting smaller by the next word he speaks. Amy and I share a look and we hide our laughter.
"Now do the robot voice." Captain asks him
"Which—" Jake asks hoping he wouldn't have to embarrass himself further.
"The robot voice you were doing when you implied I'm a rule following robot. I wanna hear it again" Captain asks and Gina comes to stand next to me.
"Meep morp zarp. Robot." Jake says in an unsure voice
"That's a terrible robot voice. The next time I see you, I'd like you to be wearing a necktie." Captain says as he walks towards his office.
"The last captain didn't care if we wore ties." Jake calls out after him
"Well, your new captain does. And more importantly, he cares that you follow his direct orders. Everyone, I'm your new commanding officer, Captain Ray Holt." He says
"Speech!" Amy says
"That was my speech." Captain Holt says
"Short and sweet." Amy says nodding her head