𝗗𝗜𝗚𝗜𝗧𝗔𝗟 𝗦𝗜𝗟𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗘

My Silver Lining

AEI: i hate this chapter sm and idk whyyyyy 😭

James expected that it would be difficult to find Sam Wilson.

What he did not expect, however, was for Isabell to pull her phone out of her pocket, tap in a few words and then have Sam's location within the hour.

It all feels too easy, like there is perhaps something he's missing, but James decides to give up the paranoia and take the win.

Instead, he focuses on how cheerful Isabell seems to be about visiting Sam.

It's unbelievably frustrating when he thinks about it. James spent nearly a decade desperately wishing that she'd come back to him, wondering if she missed him, if she even thought about him. She ignored him. She hated him.

What is so special about Sam Wilson?

Something, clearly.

Something that is making her smile.

He glares at Isabell through the rear-view mirror of a rental car, watching her twist the rings on her fingers over and over again. There's a pattern to it. On the fifth twist, she moves up to her throat, squeezing the arrow necklace tight into her fist and then repeating everything.

Funny little creature of habit, always looking for something to comfort herself. James' frown deepens.

"Where'd you get those?"

Her chin jerks up. "Hmm?"

"The jewellery. Where'd you get it?"

Isabell gives a little shrug, a shadow moving across her face like a rainstorm. "Nat."

"Nat?"

"Natasha Romanoff." She says. She mutters something after that, so quiet that James can't catch it, then turns back to the window and tugs at her sleeves. He wonders why. It's not as if it's that cold.

He exhales slowly.

"D'you miss her?" He asks. Isabell's fingers twitch.

"Every second of the day."

Why not me, then? James thinks selfishly. Why didn't you miss me? What makes these other people so much better than I was?

Instead, he says,

"I'm sorry, Iz. Really."

She doesn't even bother to correct him.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

The rest of the following car ride is silent, only broken by directions from Isabell and a sharp noise in the back of her throat when he turns a corner too fast. Her eyes close, knuckles whitening as she presses them into the seats, and James wonders when she became so afraid of things.

Or rather, when she lost the strength to hide it.

He's happy when they turn up at the airbase, mostly just to get out of the car and see some colour return to Isabell's cheeks, but the hopefulness fades fairly quickly when he remembers what they're there for.

Somebody is wearing Steve's suit. Somebody is wearing Steve's suit, playing pretend at being Captain America, and it is Sam's fault.

James really wishes Isabell would acknowledge that.

Her face has twisted out of its usual empty haze and when she sees Sam, she smiles unbelievably wide and darts over to hug him. He wraps his arms around her, ruffles her hair, and a knot of jealousy threatens to explode inside of James' stomach.