How Can You be a Star?

Messy - 2

Aubree was gone by the time I woke up. I figured she had retreated back to Ana's room before anyone woke up, but a small part of me wished she had stayed, even if I can't figure out why. There are so many things I wish I could ask her. Too many things go unsaid. Is she just using the closest queer girl to experiment? Or is it because she knows I would never out her? Is she just toying with me in the end? I question how our story will go as if I could ever get even a sliver of an answer.
I had gotten lost in thought and entirely forgot I still had to get changed. Just as I slip off my baggy t-shirt from last night, now tainted with memories, I hear a faint knock and find the door opening before I have a chance to react. I find myself frantically turning around, despite being in a sports bra and shorts. Of course it was Aubree. It had to be Aubree.

"I'm sorry-" She stuttered as I noticed her ears tint with a reddish pink.
"Whatever," I let out a defeated sigh as my phone chimed with a notification. "What do you need?"
"I was going to ask if you wanted to come to school with Ana and I. Would you like to?" Aubree had asked with a shy smile.

Before I answered, I checked the notification on my phone. Sure enough, it was Vivian double-checking on our plans to go to school together. I may have forgotten to mention what we had planned during our 'hang out' last night, but it's totally fine.

"Actually, I can't. I made plans with Vivian last night." I replied quietly to Aubree, offering her a simple sympathetic smile.
"Right.. Vivian." She repeated as she once again eyed the hickeys remaining on my body.
"Awwe, what's wrong? Jealous? Don't worry, my little straight girl, one day, you'll also gain a sex life." Admittedly, I teased bitterly. I couldn't tell if it was due to lack of sleep or if I was just upset. I paused to think to myself for just a moment before I began again. "I'm sorry, Aubree. I think I'm just tired."

Before she had the chance to reply, I rushed on a worn band t-shirt, grabbed my favorite pair of baggy jeans and pushed past her. Without looking back at her, I marched into the bathroom and shut the door. Honestly, I didn't even want to wear this shirt today. I just grabbed the first one I could find that looked reasonable. I let out a heavy sigh- more of an exhale, really. An exhale of relief. Being around Aubree that early after what had happened was just.. Suffocating. It hurt to think, because she had always been good to me. And yet, for some reason, I have so many unexpectedly bitter feelings towards her.

My short, wavy black hair caught in my face due to the morning wind as I made my way to my truck. I couldn't help but notice the pit in my stomach, hinting today may not go so well. I secretly hoped spending some time with Vivian would help. Not because I want to do anything sexual, mostly just because she's actually my friend, despite popular belief.
I must've been pretty zoned out this morning, because Vivian slid into the passenger seat of my cat and I just sat there for a couple minutes in silence, spacing off.

"Hey." She whispered into my ear moments before pinching my arm.
I let out a small and quiet yelp of pain as I was brought back into reality. "What was that for?!" I exclaimed as I turned to face her.
"You were zoned out and biting into your cheek again. I could tell." Her eyebrows raised concern, I suppose. She offered a sympathetic smile, and in some small way, I accepted that offer.

Just as I was about to pull out of Vivian's driveway, I felt a gentle and warm touch on my hand. My head had once again turned to face her, where we then locked eyes. "Vivian.." I began, but her pale blue eyes didn't falter. In fact, I think she moved slightly closer to me, unless I was hallucinating from exhaustion and lack of sleep. The air in my beat up truck felt tight. It was hard to move or look away. I know she wanted to kiss at that moment- It was like a silent invitation. A moment we shared privately, but not exclusively.

I leaned into her and peacefully braced for impact. One of my hands found its way to her throat, just below her jawline, while both of her hands found their way to my face and cupped my cheeks in a warm embrace. Her soft and delicate lips made contact with mine and it felt intoxicating. It didn't take long before we were making out once more, but it took just a little longer for me to come to my senses.