Left behind

Family

TW abuse mentioned.

I always wished for a good family, a permanent family. A family that would always be there for me, maybe even have a sibling or two, but I never got that, at least, one I know of. Maybe I do have family out there, but why didn't they keep me? Why didn't they love me. That's all I wished for, just a goddamn family.
- - -

After training for the day was finished, and dinner eaten, we found ourselves in Caitlin and Sam's room for team bonding.

"So, what should we do?" Hayley asked, sitting down next to me. "Well, I thought it would be obvious, but we're here to learn about our new teammate!" Sam says clapping her hands. I immediately want to leave, I don't want to talk about well, me.

"So rookie, where are you from?" Mackenzie asks. "Oh, uhh, Adelaide." I say nervously. "Ok, we have an Adelaide girl here." Someone says.

Caitlin asks the next question. "What made you choose to dye your hair?". "Oh, I just wanted to stand out slightly, and it looks nice." Caitlin nods.

"What's the scar on your nose from?" Steph asks. "Oh, somebody threw a rock at me and it hit my nose cutting it open.". "Why'd they do that?" Ellie asked. "I don't know..." I lie.

My 'sister' did it. She was mad that I wouldn't do her homework, and when I was outside doing yard work she got some of her friends to come and beat the shit out of me.

"I'm next!" Sam said loudly. "Who's your favorite Barca teammate?" Oh, that's easy. "Jana, or Mapi." I say confidently. "Ok thank you!" Sam says putting her phone down. "Did you video that?" I ask. "Yeah, and now it's on instagram, so, you're welcome.". "Shit! Ale's gonna kill me!" I scream making the team laugh. I pull out my phone to text Als sorry and send it before looking up at the group who's trying not to laugh but all fail.

"Why do you think Alexia Putellas is going to kill you?" Alanna asks. "Well, I may have said she was my favorite before leaving, because I live with her. And the favorite thing was maybe a lie..." I trail off. "So, you lied to La Reina, that she was your favorite, just so you could come?" I nod. "That's funny." Alanna laughs as I feel my phone buzz. Pulling it out I see a text from Alexia.

Jordyn, you better be lying.

Soorrry...

You'll be cleaning the apartment when you get back.

No! I'm sorry, it wasn't true.

Relax, I know it wasn't. Love you.

Love you.

I look up from my phone to see the team staring at me, making me shrink back. "What's the damage?" Ellie asks. "Well, I'm ok... for now." I say making them laugh again. She'll probably forget right? Yeah, let's just say Alexia doesn't forget.

"Well, that was funny! But next question, what does your family think about you playing for the Matildas?" Hayley asks making my face pale. "I uh..." I stand up before rushing out of the room, confusing the hell out of my teammates.

I walk back to my room before collapsing on my bed. Pulling my covers over me, I begin to cry. What would my family think? I think about my abusive 'family' as I start to pick and scratch at my skin, trying to find a way to make it all go away.

You're worthless you snake.

I'll teach you, fucking dyke.

You'll never be good enough, always a worthless bitch.

I think back to the last time I saw them.

I started to pack my bags when Dave burst into my room. He immediately grabbed me and drug me by my neck to his room, he shut the door and pushed me onto his bed. "I'm gonna teach you a lesson, if you ever try to leave again, it'll be a lot worse." He sneered pulling my clothes off...

I'm not gonna write this.

After I woke up from passing out I looked down to see my pants and underwear on the floor, and pain between my legs. It wasn't the first time he's done it. I was scared from being touched by the beats not the possibility of having children, I can't have one anyways.

After putting on my clothes I walked out to see them gone and immediately went to my room to see my stuff gone and a note.

If you want to leave, so be it. But you'll have nothing.

I read. And that's how I left, with nothing but my clothes, and a few hundred dollars that I hid from them, money from the odd jobs I could pickup.

And that leaves with the question, where do I go? And that's when I chose Spain, already fluent in the language, because of another 'family' that I had.

Little did I know that would change my life.

I pull the necklace I have on out from under my shirt. It was a gift from Alexia when she became my own sort of family I guess. She's like the mom I never had, the guardian that I always wanted.

I was lucky, she found me messing around with a ball I found in a field, and after seeing my skill, she approached the Barca academy, and that's how I got here.

I look at the tattoos on my arms, hiding the pain I felt on the inside. I feel the ones on the side and back of my neck, ones I got with Mapi after she convinced me.

The tattoos being a dragon, showing my fierce strength and prowess. And my necklace a lion, a strong leader, something Alexia noticed when I joined the B team, that I was a strong and fierce leader, something that shows when I play.

Hidden behind my ear is one final special tattoo, a mix of the Spanish and Australian flag, symbolizing the place I came from, and the other where my life changed for the better.

"Jordyn?" A voice asked, taking me from my thoughts. I hear footsteps approach and the dip of my bed as the covers are pulled away to show both Ellie and Hayley. Their faces showing concern as they see my red eyes and tears.

Neither of them say anything but just pull me into a hug, making me cry.

It's a chapter.