The Day the Giant Woke Up

1. Things Went Sideways Pretty Quick

The day the Giant woke up, things went sideways pretty quick.

The first to notice were the wealthy residents of the Chest District. The entire torso was prime real estate, but the Chest was the centre of commerce for the city built on top of the Giant's enormous body. Here you'd find the museums, the banks, the commissioned statues... Even an observatory perched high atop the giant's right breast.

Like many city capitals, The Chest owed its status to location; it was simply the most convenient place for a metropolis to begin. Situated above the Giant's massive heart, the region enjoyed a consistently balmy temperature, thanks to the constant flow of freshly-circulated blood under their feet. On the coldest day of the year, only a sweater was required to stay outside. This was a luxury foreign to areas with poor circulation like the slums of the Fourth and Fifth Toe Districts.

The downside of quite literally living at the heart of it all was the minor inconvenience of the faint thud of heartbeats, and constant, subtle shifts as the Giant drew breath. The houses were, of course, built in a clever way to flex and flow with the rising and falling of the Giant's chest. Long inhales and exhales set the pace for their days.

The clever houses could even withstand the odd rumbling snore. Though this was no longer a problem after a years-long construction project to build a concrete embankment under the Giant's neck. The highly-engineered lump was perfectly positioned so that her glottal stop would never again touch the back of her throat.

Some had criticized the public works project, calling it an eyesore. Others said the money would be better spent to build a Webble Church in the Giant's armpit region, where none currently stood. But the embankment succeeded at quieting the snores, and most people's snores did not threaten utter ruin, so.

The day the Giant woke up, very few in the Chest District noticed at first. Those sensitive to such things felt a new tension in their shoulders, as their subconscious noticed that the steady rise and fall of the Giant's chest had been replaced by slightly shorter breaths. Faint, irregular tremors ran through the streets as steady, languid heartbeats were replaced with an asynchronous flutter.

For those that prefer empirical data, the Giant's wakeful state was confirmed just after breakfast by a sophisticated network of sensors embedded between the Giant's first and second rib. By lunchtime, the major newspapers reported it in large block letters. By late afternoon, several Webble Churches announced emergency sermons to address the development, and what impact it could have on the Webble Festival. (The festival would proceed as planned).

Then, around 3pm Colossi Standard Time, the Giant coughed, causing her chest to heave rapidly. The cleverly-designed buildings reached the limit of their structural ingenuity, and several collapsed. A major museum was destroyed. The largest Webble church fell over on its side, partially crushing a family home (they survived) and a chartered accountant (he did not).

Obviously, something needed to be done.

Someone had to talk to the Giant.