Desiderium | ᴋ.ᴛʜ & ᴊ.ᴊᴋ | On Hold

37 - Autumn leaves

【 Jungkook 】

It truly was a scenic view, witnessing how the hues of autumn prettily painted the scenery around you; aburn leaves gently getting picked up and carried by the wind now littering the streets almost like a carpet which crackled and rustled underneath your feet when making your way home from a shift at the café— steps feeling much lighter than some months prior as you gradually managed to get back onto your feet just like you had promised yourself that one night in June.

The process of moving on with one's life was by no means easy, and you highly doubted there was a fast nor simple way to adjust to life without someone you weren't prepared to lose— however, you somewhat managed to make it work through the mindset of living life if his honor, almost as if he still was there to experience everything together with you. And while there was a time where you purposely avoided everything that bore even the slightest reminder of the dear entity, after some months you gradually began to reincorporate fragments of him into your life again, for the most part now being able to find solace in them rather than sorrow— though of course there still were some exceptions which you to this day couldn't bare to witness nor hear.

On your way home, you decided to take a brief detour and stopped by the park— nose and ears flushed a subtle crimson from the cold air as you slumped down onto what had come to be a special park bench located underneath the willow tree, momentarily sitting in silence while adjusting your scarf before finally allowing a faint smile to tug at your lips as you softly spoke by yourself.

Jungkook: Hey, it's been a while...? I'm sorry I didn't visit last week, but I think you'd be glad to know the café is thriving— although I also suspect you'd find the chance to simultaneously scold me for working so much overtime...

A melancholy snicker forced its way past your lips as you paused to fidget with the fabric of your scarf, tone now sounding more playful and somewhat scolding as you hesitantly spoke up once again after a little while.

Jungkook: I still can't believe I've implemented these foolish habits of coming here to talk to myself like this— but I do it all just in case you by some chance were able to hear me, which I still doubt...

There was another painfully silent pause as you stuffed your cold hands into the pocket of your jacket, impossibly sinking further into the bench as you raised your gaze towards the sky partially blocked by the willow tree's yellow branches.

Jungkook: After losing you, I think I finally understand the true depths of why they say you never lose someone just once— because time and time again I find myself losing you through the jokes you would've made, things you would've enjoyed, acts you would've scolded me for, memories we've shared, plans we never got to complete and so forth.

You couldn't help but allow another sullen snicker to emit past your lips as you closed your eyes to feel how the cold breeze ran through you— similarly to how it'd feel the times Taehyung accidentally would pass through you.

Jungkook: I still refuse to listen to our song, you know...? Call me sappy all you want but I— just can't bear to hear it... Not without you.

A very faint smile tugged at your lips as you then proceeded to mutter out a quiet ''You can probably imagine I had a hard time trying to explain to Hobi-hyung why that particular song was banned from our café's playlist...'' before yet again silently fidgeting, this time with the hem of your coat's sleeves whilst sighing softly.

Jungkook: Oh right... I also began taking pictures of every sunset you created— you really did have a knack for artistry didn't you, Taehyungie?

A bittersweet smile tugged at your lips as you thought back to the ghost's hidden talent for art which he had proven through his first-ever painting, and later continued to prove through the beautiful sunsets you've found yourself chasing every night, almost as if it was the only thing left truly connecting the two of you; a gentle goodnight if you will, before he sent you off towards a new day with new opportunities.