Stolen, Lost and Found

Mat'ias and Lacey

So, this was proving to be more than I thought.  Maybe Kat had a point when she said it would really bring me to a huh moment.  I never thought she could be right!  I mean in our society we have submissive folks but not like this.  I had heard this one had been forgetting to eat been too busy to do much eating.  Not sleeping it just seemed like she didn't want stop.  Had to be reminded of things.  More childlike.  It was so sweet and relaxing.  Like she needed someone to help her and point her in the right direction.  Just to be there for her.  To be protected.  And she did much better with being given direction by like an authority figure. 

I suggested food her first response of denying me she was hungry told me one of a few things.  She was either doing it to see how far she could push me, she was too interested in other things than food or maybe didn't want to be controlled.  I feel like it might be a mix of the last 2.  When I told her to sit and walked away to get the food I thought she'd stay put!  But I should have looked to her to check if she was still there but the giggle told me all I needed to know.  The tap on my back made me laugh she was like a child playing a hide and seek game.  I liked this.  But I also needed her to sit and eat.  When I saw what she intended to eat I was not going to let her eat just that.  She needed real substance and when I pushed and she said what she did something clicked in me like a new voice I never had that said 'Huh?  She did not just say that to me.'  The look said even more though like she wanted the attention and now that she had it she wasn't going to let it go.  I don't want to be her boss per'se but maybe something more?  

After I suggested the sweet food for after the real food she looked at me like she was waiting for something.  Like she thought I would just walk away but I am not sure if I could.  So with some reasuarance this is not just a quick meeting and then leaving she seemed to accept things more.  She picked at what I grabbed for her and I saw what she avoided it made me laugh mainly a few things I have learned from my human friend is 'disgusting'!   But I will say she drank her juice and ate her sweets without a second thought.  But didn't bother to try and get more.  She kept looking up at me with an odd look like she wanted something from me but not sure like a small smile and expectant look.  I received a message on my device and told her I'd see and speak with her in a bit.  It almost seemed her smile fell from her face for a second but then returned but no warmth as she walked away slowly.  I wonder what is wrong?  I guess I'll figure it out later I have a meeting to attend to.

I thought we had a connection and he was going to stay and play with me.  His conversation seemed nice and it was nice.  But as always people come to me and we play for a bit then they leave.   Being alone makes me think and I don't want to dwell on things that I cannot change. Its always Lacey do this and Lacey do that. Certain rules are okay for some but not all? Like promising not to ignore and will be there but then not and getting upset when you point things out but when you get too busy or decide to show them what it feels like they get upset.

 Its fine maybe he really has to go?  I am always known for overreacting.  I guess I'll go find someone else to play with.  Maybe I can find a doggie or a new animal?   Animals always are fun.   And music.  I wonder off to have funs.  I see all the big aliens and the ones that have 'puppies'  I guess they are not puppies but still doggie like which to me is good enough.  There is this one big guy with a small blue dog.   The dog has more than one tail and his eyes are a light purple color.  I am told his name is Sa'cruflia.  I feel bad for him with that name!   Poor puppie with a difficult to say name.   Maybe he has trouble understanding his name.  I walk over closer and sit on the floor and slowly crawl forward to him so I'm not scaring him.  He's as big as a pony.  He lays down and starts to crawl over to me.  Which excites me cause he's being funny.  He gets within nose range and sticks his big doggo nose into my face.  At that moment the guard people notice and seem unsure almost like its not good.

And one steps up to get the dog away from me to pull me away and the doggo starts to make a noise like growls.  I stand up and walk over to him and at that moment he starts to lick my face from top to bottom his tongue is almost as big as my face.   A hand comes to rest on my shoulder and I look up and there he is again.  He came back like he said he would.  He wasn't just saying stuff.  Maybe this one will be different?!   He says "Well, little one what have we here?  Did you make a new friend?"  I nod and go back to the puppie.  And I hear "Words you need to use words,  so did you make a new friend?"  "Uh, huh he's a puppy his name is ummmm...Scruffles and he's blue and licky."  And that's when everyone starts laughing loudly which is realllly loud to me and I think they are laughing at me.  Which makes me upset so I stomp my feet and storm off!

I wish I understood the way all these other people are.  They are too confusing.  I shake my head and decide I want to go outside to explore!  That will make me happy.  They have said 'Lacey, no going out without a guard or a friend.'  The thing is they all go outside without someone else so I see no reason that I can't.  No one is my boss.  I am an adult and make adult decisions lots.  I look around and find an exit that no one I have met before is near.  They might not know I was told 'NO!'  I straighten my back and try my best to be like all the others.  I make eye contact like everyone else.  Smile and do the head nod thing I have watched them all do.  I must make a good impression cause these guards wearing all these buttons and marks on their shirts smile and say 'Have a good day.'  

I had approached her and saw her face light up while I spoke to her it was great to see.  But when everyone laughed she seemed upset.  I had no idea why.  I decided I would meet with some of the other people.  I need to learn about everyone and what they know about what's going on what is expected of them.  I know many of them have shown such great progress to be ready for the next step which is of course finding their spot in the world.  There are people of so may types in this place.   Some are short, tall, thin and some have more curves.  I look back at Lacey she is watching everyone like trying to understand them.  I think whatever caused her to possibly wake up before the others might be a cause for her mannerisms.  And lack of connection to people.