untitled

18

I am running, running, running
when I stop the thoughts come crashing in
so I'll keep busy with chores
and I'll keep getting out of the house
into the chaos outside my apartment

I am running, running, running
if I pause a thought comes back I can't bear
so I'll keep busy with noise
keeping the television on all the time
or music blaring away while I sit
as long as something drowns out the voices inside

I am running, running, running
when I can't run it'll hit me all at once
and I can't keep the noise anymore
or keep myself moving faster
or lose myself in another reality of a book
its all running out, I'm running out of time

I am running

I think I'm running

I can't keep running

I'm running out of breath

But when I stop it all comes back
and no longer running means I break
all the energy used on running goes into
thinking, overthinking, overwhelming
the urge to harm myself or worse comes

and suddenly I am not running
I am breaking in place as my dark mind runs away
with my body and my soul to corrupt and break me.