CHAPTER 38 || Exposed (Credits: The Haas boys)

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Race weekend. For several hundred thousand people, the best weekends of the month. Little Seb wants to go to a race, of course. And since no one, especially Michael, can deny him a wish, Seb is now in the paddock.

He enthusiastically runs everywhere and especially marvels at the red cars with the horse and the night-blue bolides with the bull in red.

When he turns around to tell Nico something, he is no longer there. Slightly panicked, Seb searches the paddock until he is stopped by an AlphaTauri employee. "I don't talk to strangers!" Seb says immediately.

"Clever boy. Where do you belong? To which team?" Asks the staff member. Seb squints his eyes suspiciously and says "Haas. Where's the garage?"

The employee looks surprised for a moment and then says "I'll show you the way!" Seb shakes his head and says "I want to know where the garage is, not be taken there!"

Someone else interjects "It's the garage that's by the big walnut tree. The one in white." Seb thanks him briefly and then runs quickly to the garage, where Nico is already looking worried for him.

"How about we hold your hand this time, Seb?" Nico suggests but the 5-year-old protests "I'm a big boy, I can do it by myself!"

Kimi comes out of the Alfa Romeo garage and immediately Seb runs to him and grabs Kimi's hand. "Hey Seb, are you all right? Did you have a good look at everything?" The Finn asks with a smile. Seb nods, beaming, and is picked up by the former racing driver.

"This is Jenny, Seb. My girlfriend." Kimi explains and points to a woman next to him. Seb just grumbles "Mein Kimi! " And clings to him.

Nico, who has followed, first falters in his movement in surprise before tear opening his eyes and turning away so that his facial expression is not seen. Kimi hisses to the back to Hulk "Ein Wort zu ihr und du bist ein kleiner grüner Haufen Hulkscheiße! " [One word to her and you're a little green pile of Hulk shit!]

Nico simply flees for a moment and calls out as he runs, "Kevin, come here. Haas meeting. Internal!" Kevin is confused, but follows the German into his driver room.

"What's the matter? Has the car become even shittier than it already is?" The Dane asks immediately and Nico shakes his head. "I needed some excuse!" He waves it off with a shrug.

"And what happened?" Kevin asks, slightly sceptical. "Hear me out. Kimi introduced Seb to his girlfriend. But Seb just said 'My Kimi' and clung to him." Nico explains the situation. Kevin's mouth drops open in shock as he realises.

They both analyse the process and Nico decides, sighing, "We need professional help. The Gossip Duo would be best." Kevin says "Do the whole family." Nico looks at him confused "But why?"

"Quite simple, watch out. Jenson is the matchmaker of F1. Romain has been doing all the drama for years and has the overview of it. That means, he also has the background of their friendship, relationship, whatever you can call it. Pierre is the gossip queen of the whole paddock and has informants everywhere, and Alex? He knows everyone here. From Mercedes, Alpine, Red Bull, Aston Martin and most importantly, he knows the F1 admin. And the F1 admins best friend is the Ferrari admin. BAM!" Explains Kevin.

"This family feels like they know more about me than I know about myself!" Shouts Nico. "And that's the point." Makes Kevin realise to him. "I'll call Jense, all good!" He adds at the end and briefly leaves to explain the situation to Jensen while Hulk actually fetches a whiteboard.

"Okay, Jenson will come and bring the rest." Kevin informs Nico. "Good, I'll quickly get some pens. We only have green and black ones here." Nico says and Kevin calls after him, "Don't forget the iPad!"

          

Nico proudly returns with blue, red and purple pens and Romain, who comes up behind Nico with the rest, carries the iPad.

Kevin has written all the information on the second whiteboard, which he took from his driver room.

"So, we know that Kimi and Jenni are dating and Seb called Kimi 'his Kimi'. Further, we know that Jenni is a Finnish model. This means that Seb potentially has a better chance with Kimi. The powering is 29% to 71%. So theoretically, the chance is 42% higher with the two of them compared to Seb." Opens Pierre to them. "If we know whether Kimi also likes men, we'll have to recalculate." Warns Jenson and Nico mutters "I'm just about to find out."

"Aha!" Nico shouts. "He also likes men. Mika and he talked about it some years ago!" He explains with more detail.

"Well, if we take that into account, Seb's chances should be 58% compared to her!" Romain says and Kevin notes it down. 

"Hey guys, there were rumours that she was cheating on Kimi with a certain Ossi Väänänen." Says Kevin. "He's Finnish too. He used to play ice hockey in the professional league." He continues and Alex writes it on the left whiteboard.

They write more and more on the whiteboards and Romain sorts out everything that is unimportant when they can't find anything else and they all look at the notes. Their part of the work is done, now it's Alex's turn.

Pierre, meanwhile, asks uncertainly, "What's a guinea pig?" And Romain replies "Cochon d'Inde." Pierre nods just as confused as before.

While Romain brushes away some more information and quietly checks with Nico and Pierre that everything is without gaps, Kevin and Jenson concentrate once more on chat histories. They are still missing the connection to Seb. Well, parts of it.

"I've got it!" Cries Alex euphorically and starts connecting various dots. The rest look up and logically demand an explanation.

"Okay, listen to me carefully. Kimi and Jenni are dating. But Jenni cheated on Kimi with Ossi. Ossi's sister has a best friend who has a cousin. The cousin's girlfriend is Seb's old PR and now Nando's. And he is Kimi's brother. The brother of Nando's PR, in turn, has guinea pigs because his cats died. The owner of the mother cat, and therefore also the first owner of his cats, is Ferrari admin, whom I know. And his girlfriend is Ossi's sister's best friend. Jenni thinks that Kimi is cheating on her with Seb and has trust issues while she is cheating herself. Seb doesn't like her at all and therefore said 'My Kimi'. When Seb and Kimi were still teammates, they once slept together drunk. The question that still exists is whether Jenni knows about it."

"Background, guys, we need more background!" Nico claps his hands.

"Wait, I've got something here." Kevin calls out and beams it onto a wall with his iPad. The boys systematically sort through the available information.

"Okay, so Seb and Kimi are best friends. They got to know each other when Seb entered Formula 3. There they are highlighted by their completely different personalities. There was nothing going on between them except several times sex after parties. Seriously now? Anyway, Jenni has accused him of cheating on her several times, even though it never actually happened when Kimi and Jenni were together. Wow, the rest is uninteresting. Rally, blah, blah. Aha! Jenni and he had a relationship break up because Kimi had strong suspicions that Jenni was cheating on him. He used to go to Seb's and sleep there. What happened there we only have in part. Several kisses, never a relationship, when Jenni and Kimi were separated, apparently nothing happened between them anyway. That's unbelievable. When Seb broke up with Hanna, he was with Kimi, but we have absolutely no information about that." Kevin explains to the other drivers.

"What the fucking hell!?" Someone shouts behind them and the 6 drivers turn in fright to look directly into Kimi's face. "Oops" whispers Jenson.

"Just write a complete biography about my love life". Says Kimi sarcastically. "How did you come up with guinea pigs in the first place?" He asks, looking back and forth between the men in confusion and anything but enthusiasm.

"To cut a long story short here. Firstly, why are you with Jenni? Secondly, your girlfriend is cheating on you non-stop. Three, get with Seb already. Fourth, how the hell did you guys never manage to become a couple? Fourth, the man she's cheating on you with is called Ossi Väänänen and fifth, please don't kill us." Jensen says in alarm and takes a step back as a precaution.

"Explain to THAT!" Says Kimi, pointing to the whiteboards. "You need something to do when you're a Haas driver." Defends Romain. Kevin and Hulk nod in agreement. Pierre and Alex have left in the meantime.

Kevin and Hulk suddenly jump out of the window, leaving Jenson and Romain alone, who push past Kimi and then flee as well.

Well, we'll probably never know why the 6 boys did all that work. But what we do know is that Kimi broke up with Jenni on the same day and is now playing with the Carrera track with Seb.

~~~~~~~~~~

Next one :)

That was fucking long. 1500 words! Anyways, I hope it wasn't too confusing :)


Oh shit

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4mo ago

1
i love love LOVE all the work they do for the gossip. first they start with just theoretical numbers and then they are connecting dots and all that, i LOVE it

9mo ago

2
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