𝑾𝑰𝑺𝑻𝑭𝑼𝑳 - 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨 { ✓ }

037

WISTFUL.
[ irl ]

"i know it's not necessarily her fault for not knowing, but she would have known if she ever let me speak." bin rambles, going on and on about how pissed she is that her mom didn't know she and matt broke up. "whenever we talk, it's always about her. no wonder she's fucking oblivious to whats going on in my life."

"why don't you guys just meet up and have a conversation or something?" willow suggests.

"because whenever i try to talk to her, it either ends with a big argument or with her going on about her dog." bin explains. willow is currently applying makeup to bin's cheeks, seeing as she's about to go on stage in twenty minutes.

"it seems like a misunderstanding to me." willow tells her, turning her head to the side to get a better angle. "she doesn't know anything about you. why? because you don't tell her. but why don't you tell her? because she doesn't listen."

"exactly." bin says. "so it's not my fault."

"it's not necessarily anyone's fault." willow says. "things like this happen to people who don't communicate."

"but i can't communicate!" bin says, turning to face willow. as soon as she does, willow taps her chin to make her turn to the side again. "the thing is, if we weren't related, i would have quit being her friend a long time ago. but i don't have a choice on our relationship since she birthed me."

"tell her that."

"she'll just be like 'oh! that's so cool! anyway, did i show you my dog's new collar!?'" bin says, making her voice higher to mimic her mother's tone. "as much as i love her dog, i don't give a shit about her new collar."

"maybe she can tell that you don't care." willow points out .

"then why does she still talk to me about shit i don't care about?" bin asks, genuinely wanting an answer.

"maybe she knows you don't care about her life, so she doesn't care about yours." willow says. "if you don't listen to her, why would she put in the effort to listen to you?"

bin thinks for a moment before saying, "yeah maybe. but i'm her daughter. she chose to have me, i didn't choose to have her."

"that's true, i guess." willow says, standing up and turning bin's chair around to look at her face in the mirror. willow stands behind bin, examining the makeup look. when she sees an error, willow spins bin back around and corrects the mistake.

"i just don't know what the hell to do about my mom." bin says. "i'm sick of not feeling heard whenever i talk to her. and now she's gotten matt involved in her ignorance? it's been four fucking years!"

for a second time, willow stands up and looks at bin in the mirror. now happy with her work, she begins to brush through bin's hair.

"i still think you guys should meet up and talk about it. even if it turns out to have been a bad idea, at least you can say you tried." willow says.

bin looks at the mirror in front of her, staring at her reflection as her hair is pulled in five different directions.

she has her mom's nose. and her mom's eyes. and her hands. and her hips.

random pieces of herself belong to her mother, shaping her into who she is today. as much as bin adores her mom — or used to as a kid — she truly hopes with her whole heart that bin didn't inherit her ignorance.

she would hate to make someone feel bad like this.

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matt kinda regrets telling bin about what her mom said. because as soon as he read bin's response, he could tell she was pissed.

he's known her long enough to know exactly how she feels and why. and right now, she's mad at her mom for not listening to her whenever she talks about her life. he feels bad for her, but any emotion he feels toward the girl is now tinted by the anger that still lingers from the christmas party.

he can't feel anything toward her without his mind wandering back to the fact that she blatantly ruined his only chance at having another relationship after four years of being single.

"what're you thinking about so angrily?" nick asks with a light laugh, walking up to matt.

"huh?" matt says before looking up to meet his brother's eyes. "i don't know what do you mean."

"you've been standing all alone in the kitchen for like ten minutes." nick tells him. "not only that, but you're lost in thought, glaring at the wall."

"oh." matt replies.

nick is about to ask him what had him so deep in thought, but he decided against it. if his brother's thoughts had something to do with bin — which they almost always do — he doesn't want to draw attention to the situation.

so he changes the topic.

"do you want to film a car video?" nick asks. "we're behind on filming because of the party and everything. and now that the wedding is in a few days, we should film while we still can."

"sure." matt shrugs.

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bin stands on the stage, letting the music flow through her body and rid her of all her issues. her mind is blank, the only thing she can think of are the lyrics of the song she's singing.

her eyes scan the crowd, looking at the faces of her fans. it's so crazy to think that this many people came just to hear her voice. it sounds like such a basic thing to be shocked about, but whenever she looks at the crowd she can't help but feel a sense of pride.

when she was younger, people made fun of her for wanting to be a singer. they'd laugh in her face and say that her dream is stupid and unachievable. the only person who believed in her was... oh.

matt.

her words catch in her throat mid-line. she quickly covers it up by tipping the microphone toward the crowd, making them join together and sing the next verse.

nobody notices her mistake. but throughout the rest of the show, she can't seem to think of anything except for memories of matt from their childhood.

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a/n : this chapter is long but it's also not??? 🤨🤨
like in all, it's super long
but it's honestly js because of the spacing i used