"Seems like it's getting harder to believe in anything than just to get lost in all my selfish thoughts."
☼
Two weeks later, Kellin Quinn got two emails.
Actually, he got several, but only two caught his eye the most. First, from Penny's school. Sender Name: Ms. Juniper Kitton. Second, from Penny's other teacher—and the guy who had a way of appearing everywhere he went now. Sender Name: Mr. Vic Fuentes. Though this time it was from a different address. A personal email.
Huh.
Safe to say he was way more curious about one than the other. Still, he pretended to debate with himself which to open first. Vic's email didn't seem to be related to Penny's school at all. Of course. The ominous subject line didn't give much of anything away, but the party emojis were already making him wonder.
He tapped on it quickly. Just to get it over with. And he didn't know what he expected, but it wasn't an invitation to a surprise party.
A surprise party for Matt Kean.
"Matt is turning 35! Join us in the celebration of his birthday at..."
Kellin didn't know how bad he was frowning until it started to hurt. Why would Vic think it would be a good idea to invite him to this? He had to correct himself though, he didn't see anything wrong with that, only the fact that he didn't like Matt. And Vic was still insistent on proving the contrary.
He didn't know Matt was that much older than him; and than Vic for that matter, but he should've figured. The invite was all black with pointy fonts and white lettering. It was for next Saturday, at an address he didn't know, at 8. And there seemed to be a dress code too. Kellin didn't know how to feel about it.
What did 'glam rock' even mean?
He sighed and closed the email, not ready to deal with the anxiety it was already causing, and went to check Ms. Juniper's instead.
It was a reminder of the annual parent-teacher meeting at Penny's school the next afternoon. The ones held before the course was over and the kids moved on to the next grade and all that. It made Kellin put a lot of things in perspective all of a sudden.
Penny was finishing her first-ever school course in a few weeks. He could swear she started school merely days ago, but in reality, it had been an entire year already. A year. Kellin hated thinking about the passing of time, but he had to admit that thinking about it with that context in mind made it feel way less overwhelming.
He already felt so proud of his little kid and how far she'd come. She was growing so fast, healthily, and bright. And well, maybe he was too. Because he couldn't believe that for almost half of that year, his life started turning into something entirely different than what he was used to, and he was letting it be that way.
He knew who to thank for that, but he still wasn't going to reply to his email. He wasn't ready to RSVP to a party celebrating someone he didn't like. But maybe he would if Vic asked about it. He had a way of making Kellin say yes to most things anyway.
——
When Kellin arrived at the preschool after his work shift was over the next day, his mind was at last free of concerns and unimportant thoughts. He was prepared to make the most of the parent-teacher meeting, ready to talk about Penny with Ms. Juniper and how good of a kid she'd been all year. She never caused any trouble so he believed the session would be short and straight to the point.
He didn't think Victor would be there as well. He assumed his teaching practice didn't include the parent's meetings but he found it nice that he was wrong. It was like having a secret ally in there, the moral support he never knew he needed. Still, he was surprised when he walked into the designated classroom behind Penny's teacher and saw Vic sitting there on a bench beside the teacher's desk, looking over papers and taking notes on a pad.
Ms. Juniper was saying something as they walked in, but suddenly he stopped listening. He was dumbfounded for a second, the feeling of surprise manifesting itself in his stomach with a strange sensation, until Vic looked up and smiled broadly at him and Kellin couldn't hold back and smiled too. Like they were the only ones in on the joke like they knew all the secrets of the world.
"You remember our practice teacher, Vic," Ms. Juniper's voice tuned in again and Kellin blinked out of his daze.
He nodded his head, looking at her once more, and following her to her desk. There were a couple of benches there in front, meant for parents. He buried the thought that wanted to rise from the confines of his head and sat on the left one, offering another smile and clasping his hands over the yellow table.
"Of course," he said. "Hi."
"Hey, Mr. Quinn," Vic grinned and Kellin knew that he was trying hard not to laugh at the sudden formalities. And to think it was hard to get him to call Kellin by his name in the first place. "How are you?"
"I'm alright," he said calmly while Ms. Juniper took out a folder that he supposed was Penny's file. He couldn't believe he'd have a million of these meetings for many years to come. It was exhilarating. "You?"
"Pretty good," Vic said and then turned to Ms. Juniper, who looked ready to start.
"So, Mr. Quinn, let's talk about your daughter," she smiled softly and opened the folder where Kellin could see a small picture of her in the upper left corner, the one they took when she got admitted to the school, and pen scribbles all over the rest of the page.
"Penelope's such a bright, happy kid," she started, and just from that Kellin knew this meeting would be great. "She was shy at first, in the first few weeks she wouldn't say much, which is perfectly normal, being in a new space surrounded by new people. But now she's very confident in speaking. She stumbles over words sometimes but that's completely normal for her age.
"Did you know she was one of the few kids who never cried or threw a tantrum when being dropped off? We believe she has her emotions in check for a four-year-old, and she's highly independent. That doesn't mean she loves you any less. Sometimes you are all she talks about."
Ms. Juniper chuckled at that, and Kellin felt himself smiling.
"You must already know she's left-handed too. She's the only one in the class but thankfully that hasn't been quite a big issue for her. Are you left-handed Mr. Quinn?"
"I'm not," Kellin shook his head. "And yeah we've noticed that since she was a baby too, she was throwing hints hanging onto our fingers with that little hand."
Ms. Juniper smiled and so did Vic, and Kellin looked away thinking of those memories.
"Maybe someone from your family is, it's not completely genetic, but there's always that possibility..." Ms. Juniper continued. Kellin knew it was Ellie's mother.
And after that, the meeting went on normally. Kellin felt his heart warm up listening to how Penny was one of the fastest learners in the class, always willing to participate, asking questions all the time, and being a joy to teach. She was fascinated with her environment and fast to make friends too. She did have some trouble with rule-following since she was such a curious kid, but that was something they could work on at home.
It all made Kellin so happy and proud. He always knew his little girl was something special and she was proving to be more so each day. He truly wished Ellie could see her, could be there listening to all of this too. She would be holding his hand, sharing that pride and love over their kid. He was quick to make his head stop imagining that.
