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29

29 - Approaching The Fire

HADEN

     Torture.

That's what the last few days had been like. Time seemed to slow, drawing out this agonizing torment and leaving me with nothing but emptiness. I couldn't function; the pain I would feel without her. Conner tried to tell me it was all a part of the process, this mate bond, but no one should be subjected to this form of torture.

The worrying made it worse, the not knowing where she was or if she was okay, and the regret was like icing on the cake. An Alpha was supposed to protect his people but how could my pack look up to me to lead them if I couldn't even protect my mate?

Every second that passed was like a heavy weight pressing down on my chest, making it difficult to breathe. My mind was a whirlwind of anxiety and fear, feelings I was unfamiliar with, unable to rest for a moment. I had faced threats and challenges as the Alpha, but this was different. This was personal.

Sleep had been an illusion, and when it did come, I was in a looping nightmare of trying to save Zara and never getting to her. I would wake up in a cold sweat, my heart racing, only to be reminded of the harsh reality that she was still out there somewhere, possibly in danger.

Then there was the rage.

It had been building up inside me, a monster ready to break free of his cage. My wolf had been charged with fury, a ferocious growl rumbling my chest. He had two main goals; one was to get Zara back no matter the cost and the other was to kill whoever dared to cross him.

He refused nothing but bloodshed, and I couldn't agree more. They would regret getting on the wrong side of me.

A knock sounded on the other side of my office door and I snarled.

"What is it?"

Not offering a response, the door opened and James walked through calmly, unbothered by the sneer on my face.

"What do you want?"

Wordlessly, he crossed the room and slouched in the chair in front of me.

"So," he started with a grin on his lips. I waited for him to continue, narrowing my eyes in frustration when he didn't.

"Get out, James," I growled, returning my focus to the stack of papers in front of me.

"Can't do that," he said.

"I'm not in the fucking mood. Get the fuck out," I snarled.

"The thing is, Alpha, everyone's been walking on eggshells around you because you're a ticking time bomb. No one can talk to you anymore," he shrugged.

"Of course I'm a fucking time bomb!" I exclaimed, jumping out of my chair, "My mate is out there and I have no way of knowing if she's okay or not. No way of knowing where she is. Do you understand that or not?"

James held my gaze before turning away to look out the window.

"And everyone gets that, Haden, but snapping at everyone isn't going to make her magically appear," he said looking back at me.

I glowered at him and clenched my fists, watching as his eyes flickered to them.

"What, you want to hit something? Get rid of all the frustration? Go right ahead," he said, coming to his feet and staring me dead in the eyes.