Simon Riley.
A man known for hiding his emotions well and getting his job.
He was a complete and utter mess right now, lashing out and yelling at anyone who looked at him in any sort of way. No one quite understood why, they just let him be and ride out his emotions until he was back to being his sarcastic self.
You knew, though.
Simon was grief stricken, it was an anniversary of a death he never quite got over. That was all the context you knew, Simon never liked going into detail.
You made the mistake of attempting to comfort him. He was out on the training field mumbling words under his breath and you were in agony watching him ruin himself over this.
Your hand reached out to gently touch his arm. "Simon—"
He grabbed you, throwing you onto the floor and holding a knife to your throat. His eyes were full of anguish and fear and terror and rage all mixed into one.
Simon didn't see you as you right now, and you knew this. Maybe this was some sort of awful flashback he was sucked into.
Yet right now, you had never looked at a man with such lovestruck eyes until this very moment.
He hovered over you, a blade to your throat and tears burning his eyes. He had no reason to be like this, he was just *mourning* and you let him.
"I'll kill you." He growled out, voice hoarse and fading away.
Your gaze softened, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips. "You're beautiful, Simon Riley."
The words fell off your lips in a whisper, telling him he was beautiful even in a state as this. Even in his flashback, he was perfect.
"Its okay." You whispered to him, tilting your chin and exposing more of your neck. Calmness washed over you. "Simon, it's all okay."
Tears spilled once again, his eyes bloodshot from the lack of sleep.
He pressed the blade to your neck, eyes fluttering shut a moment.
"Why would you fucking leave me.." He whispered, voice barely more than a whisper. He opened his eyes to take in a final look at you, his breath caught in his throat.
Your eyes closed as the cool metal pressed to your throat. "You're everything to me, Simon.."
"You were mine." Simon breathed, his eyes still locked on yours. He took a deep breath, pressing the knife a little deeper until blood trickled.
Your hand slipped inside of his mask and cupped his cheek, your eyes locked on his. The pain of the knife hurt, but you hid it well as you choked out, "My sweet boy.."
He flinched, eyes softening at the touch. He wanted to look away, but he couldn't seem to let go of your gaze.
"Why did you leave me?"
You smiled softly at him. "You are my life, my sunlight."
Those simple words broke his heart. He swallowed, tears spilling from his eyes as he sat up on his knees.
"What the hell am I doing?"
As Simon sat up, you did too. The knife fell to the grass with a thud. "You're hurting, Simon."
He stared at the blade, tears running down his cheeks as you sat and took in a shaky breath. His head bowed in shame.
He was trembling, a sob breaking through his chest. He didn't know how to respond. How to react.
You reach forward and pull him toward you. His head rested on your chest, his shoulders shaking with each sob as his arms snaked around your waist.
"You can't fix me.." He whispered into your chest, eyes closed as your embrace filled him with both comfort and confusion.
Your touch was warm, soothing to him as you wrapped your arms around him.
"Im not trying to fix you." You whispered into his hair, kissing the top of his head.
Simon trembled, a tear rolling down his cheek as he closed his eyes tight. You were everything that was missing in his life.
"You didnt mean to." You whispered, playing with his hair.
"That doesn't make it right.." He sniffed, burying his face deeper into you. It was the first time someone had comforted him like this, without expecting anything else.
You were just there for him, expecting nothing in return.
"I could've killed you.." He mumbled.
Your heart ached at the words.
Simon was a complete wreck, and your next words were about to make everything worse.
"You did, love." You whispered out, your voice cracking. "Open your eyes."
His eyes fluttered open at your words, staring up at you as tears continued to roll down his cheeks. His hands clutched onto you as if his life depended on it, which it might have.
You laid there lifeless in his arms, your blood soaking into his shirt.
Simon's whole world crumbled, your lifeless body breaking him to pieces. His eyes went wide, shock filling his voice.
"N-no, no, no." He whispered, hands clenching into fists as he shook you.
"Please." His voice was hoarse and breaking.
He was breaking.
A sob tore from his throat, his voice cracking. "Wake up." He shook you more and more, desperate to bring you back.
His voice broke into a scream, he was losing it. Completely overwhelmed by what had just happened.
"No, this can't be true. Not again, not like this!" He screamed, dropping you to the floor as he kneeled on his knees.
"Wake up!" He screamed, tears falling from his eyes as he cradled your lifeless body.
Simon began preforming CPR. Hands on your chest and pushing down hard enough he could swear he heard a rib crack.
Your body was unresponsive, blood still dripping from the wound on your neck. Simon growled, pumping your chest with his fists, "Come on, please!"
"Mate.. Theyre gone." Price whispered from behind, his hand resting on Ghosts shoulder. Someone had overheard the commotion and called for him. Naturally, the rest of the Task Force had followed.
Simon refused to give up, pumping your chest harder. "No, they're not." He cried out, eyes burning and blurred with tears. He kept pumping, desperate to hear the beat of your heart.
This was the first time any of them had heard Ghost as panicked as he was. Truth be told, it frightened Price.
Soap kneeled down on the other side of your body. "Lt.. Lt look at me."
Simon's gaze finally broke from you, eyes locking with Soap's as he nodded through his tears. "They— They're—"
"They're gone." He whispered, his own voice cracking. "We have to clean you both up, mate.. Let Price take care of them."
"No, we can fix this!" Simon was in denial, he couldn't accept that you were gone right now.
"Help me." He whimpered out, his eyes burning as he turned to Soap.
"Please.. Help me." He begged.
Price gently helped Simon hand up. "Go with John. That's an order."
Simon, trembling and unsure what to do, did as he was told. He let Soap lead him away from you and inside to the showers.
He had done it again, and he would never forgive himself for it.
