Bakudeku office AU

Chapter one (๑╹ω╹๑ )

I swear this shitty office job is gonna kill me. Katsuki thought to himself as he clicked on the keyboard, he's so tired he can barely function. The keyboard continues clicking as katsuki continues to nod off to sleep.
"Yo bakugō!"
Katsuki suddenly jolts up and accidentally doing a keyboard smash. He quickly backspaces the unnecessary letters he typed as kirishima came up to him putting his hand on the back of bakugō office chair.
"Yeah what's up shitty hair?"
"Jeez, what a greeting, anyways Ashido invited us to get a drink this weekend-"
"No."
*The kirishima was stunned*
"Bakugō you can't just not socialize!"
Kirishima stood there and realized that katsuki was nodding off to sleep.
"Bakugō? ..."
Kirishima stood there clueless what to do and started shaking katsuki until he wakes up
"Damn it! I'm up, I'm up!"
Bakugō was annoyed, he got up and shot kirishima a look of 'do that shit again and we gonna throw hands'
"Wow bakugō who pissed in your cereal today man?"
Kirishima said as bakugō was walking out of his office space
"I'm getting a coffee, I can't function like this."
Bakugō said as he was walking towards somewhere? Where was he walking again? Oh right break room for coffee. Coffee sounds nice, should he get French vanilla? Black? Decaf?-
"WATCH WHERE YOURE GOING JACKASS!"
Oh, what happened? Bakugō snapped back to the reality to realize he bumped into some broccoli on the way into the break room. Since when was he here?
"THAT COFFEE WAS FOR THE BOSS YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!"
"FIRST I GOT TO INTERN AT THIS SHIT COMPANY AND NOW HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOU BLIND ASS!"
The broccoli kept screaming at me, I could barely make out what's he saying.
"I HOPE IT STAINS."
Thats what the broccoli head said before bumping into me and walking away, angrily.
'I hope it stains'? What is he talking about? I feel something wet touch the left side of my abdomen. Oh, the coffee spilled. Why is there so many people here? That broccoli head created that much of a scene? Man, I'm so tired...
"Bakugō!"
Oh, kirishima.
"Hey shit hair."
I replied as I continue walking to the break room away from the eyes of employees who witnessed that broccoli's anger. I go to the coffee machine to make myself a black coffee. Finally, coffee. I take a sip and feel my eyes re-focus, my body feels more energized now.
"Midoriya's quite the stressed one isn't he?"
Kirishima said as he patted my shoulder.
Midoriya? The broccoli head? Is that his name? Pretty sure midori means green and ya is just there. What a silly last name. What's his first name?
"Bakugō? BAKUGŌ?"
I snap back to reality realizing my name was being called, by who?.. Oh kirishima!
"Oh, what's up shit hair?" I replied as I have more energy to socialize. (Author-Chan's note: bakugō is so real.) Me and kirishima stare at eachother for a while before he speaks up.
"Bakugō wanna go out with the squad on the weekend? Not for drinks but like maybe a dinner or brunch?"
Oh brunch? That'd be nice, then I have the whole afternoon to binge shows and cry about my shitty love life.
"Brunch would be nice, what time shit hair?"
I replied and he smiles. Strange.
"Alright bakugō, I'll send you the address and time after work!"
Hm, alright, I continue drinking my coffee, midoriya. What a broccoli. I hate broccoli. Well I don't, but I hate raw broccoli. Steamed broccoli is so much better. Damn it I finished my coffee. It was so delicious. Eh I better get to work before that shit man of a boss yells at me-
"BAKUGŌ I DONT PAY YOU TO SIT ON YOUR ASS ALL DAY, I GOT DOCUMENTS FOR YOU TO FINISH."
I could tell he haven't had his coffee. Well I should get to work, I get up and throw my coffee cup into the trash can before exiting the break room.
"Useless employees, first that greenie spills my coffee and now you're slacking off?"
The boss said before I closed the sliding door. He had a name, what was it?... oh right hisashi, but he wants us to call him hisashi-san. What a joke, he treats us like shit and expects respect? I sit at my desk and open my computer to start finishing hisashi's documents, why can't he finish it himself? What time is it? I look up at the clock. It's 4:54. I should start packing up. I close my laptop and start packing up, if I pack up fast enough I won't be the victim of after work suffering. Just gotta hurry up and leave as soon that clock dismisses us, what time is it now? Oh it's 4:57, I finished packing up, I should just stay low and wait for the clock. 4:58... maybe I should plan what I'll do later. Go to the grocery store, get some groceries, go home, pack the groceries— oh 4:59. Then I'll just figure stuff out after that. I could try to visit my parents maybe. I could wash my clothes since that broccoli head ruined my shirt. I look back at the clock, it's 5:00 finally. I was about done. I get up along with another employees leaving until someone grabbed my shoulder. I guess my afternoon is ruined, now I got to suffer with hisashi's bitch ass-
"Bakugō-san?"
That voice? It's that broccoli, I'm about to give that little shit a piece of my mind, I turn around and see him retreat his hand from my shoulder.
"What is it?" I replied
He stares at me before speaking
"Bakugō-san, I'm super sorry about ruining your shirt, I was just having a terrible day especially with our boss, I can pay you back for the cleaning or a new shirt—"
Wow. This short stack sure talks a lot. Wait is he crying?! How is this the same person?!
"Hey hey!"
I cut him off, his tears are running down his face.
"Midoriya-kun, it's alright we all have shit days, you don't have to do anything."
He smiles at me.
"My name is Izuku Midoriya, what's yours?"
He's asking for my name! Holy shit this is like a Romance anime. Wait no, I'm just being desperate.
"Oh my names Katsuki bakugō."
I reply and I see him look confused.
"Kasuu, kaaashsuu, kashsuki?"
Is that what's he confused about?
"It's katsuki. Ka-tsu-ki."
I replied and he's thinking something.
"Kacchan!!:33" (author-Chan's note: I just had to add the :33 okay?)
Alright this shit is like a romance anime.
"Okay, bye—"
Is it okay to call him by his first name? No, I should add a kun or San. But Chan's pretty cute. Izuchan? Izuku-Chan?
"Kacchan?"
I been snapping out my thoughts like that too much.
"Oh yeah what's up?"
I replied
"Just call me izuku. No need for honorifics"
He said to me.
"No too fruity."
"What-"
I look at his face and back at his eyes.
"Izuku-Chan."
Okay that shit was embarrassing I gotta leave this place.
"Bye izuku-Chan"
I said before booking the fuck out of there.
"Oh bye kacchan see you tomorrow!"
I slow down and go to a grocery market. I grab a basket, I don't need much just some vegetables and stuff. Salmon or pork? I can make sashimi, or I can make pork cutlets. Eh I had sashimi a lot recently, I should get pork. I put the salmon back, and walk away from the meat section to the vegetable aisle. Spring onions, cabbage, carrots and celery. Oh there's the spring onions and celery, I put them into my basket then go to get the cabbage and carrots. I'm done, wait do I have rice? Oh I need eggs too. God damn it, I thought I didn't mean to get much. I mean I just need a small amount of eggs. They do sell small amounts of eggs. And a half gallon of milk. Alright that isn't so bad. I will just get small amounts until I usually do my monthly grocery shopping that breaks my bank with the terrible pay my job provides. I grab the eggs and the half gallon of milk and go pay. Alright I should have everything right? Spring onions, cabbage, carrots, celery, milk, eggs, pork—... GOD DAMN IT I FORGOT THE RICE. You know what, I'll just put this in the car and grab the rice quickly. Oh right I need some M.S.G too. I walk out of the store and go to the car and put my stuff inside and lock the car to return to the store for the forgotten items, I'll just grab a 5 pound rice bag for now and some M.S.G. I pay for the items and exit the store a second time and put them in the car. I sit in the drivers seat and start up the car to start driving home. Alright, I'll just go home pack the groceries and get on  PlayStation. Hopefully shit hair doesn't bother me, I wanna play Minecraft. Oh wait I'll have to wash my shirt too. Oh I'm already at the driveway. I exit the car and grab some of the groceries and open the front door to put them in the kitchen. I repeat this process 2 more times. I lock the car, close the front door and organize the groceries. After I finished organizing the groceries I change into something more comfortable, a tight tank top and baggy sweatpants. I know this makes me look gay but do I care? No. So anygays I hop onto my PlayStation to play for some time before I make dinner. Minecraft time, it was all great until shit hair invited me to his party. I declined, but he kept inviting me so I had to accept. I said bye to Minecraft and joined to hear some dumbasses laughing (Sero and Kaminari)
"Why did you guys invite me?"
I said as those dumbasses stopped laughing.
"Cmon virgin, we wanna play!"
Kaminari replied
"Oh right midoriya spilled coffee on him, now bakugō got someone else to deal with now."
Kirishima added then the dumbasses started laughing. I was gonna say something but if I call him by his first name or even Izuku-Chan those morons are gonna call me fruity. Maybe they'll stop calling me a virgin? Eh it's worth a shot.
"Oh me and Izuku—"
Wait no we just barely met.
"What was that bakugō?"
Sero said
"Me and Izuku aren't enemies he just apologized for spilling coffee."
I replied. I was about to say something that wasn't true, but atleast I caught myself before I did.
"Ooooh"
Kaminari said.
"Is our bakugō hooking up? How come you get to call him by his first name?"
Kaminari added.
I blushed furiously at this statement.
"We're not hooking up! He just allowed me to call him by his first name!"
I exclaimed before Kaminari whistled that STUPID CAT CALL.
"Fuck you zombie."
I screamed.
"Wait why zombie?"
Kaminari replied.
"Because your brain doesn't work."
I replied confidently before logging off. Kirishima texted me. I looked at it and gonna sat there.
"Yo bakugō what's with you and midoriya?"
Thats what he texted me.
"I can't wait to go back to work tomorrow."
I replied with that, cause if I told him what I actually feel about that cutie patootie izuku he's going to show it to Kaminari and Sero. I went into the kitchen and decided not to make pork cutlets. 1, because I'm lazy, and 2, it's 9:43 and I have to get up at 6:45. So instead, spicy ramen. I heated up the water, put the noodles, season it and yum. I can't wait to go into work tomorrow to see that cutie patootie. Big green eyes, freckles and curly hair. Wait. I forgot to take out my shirt. Hopefully it didn't actually stain. I check the shirt, I mean it didn't completely stain, but it's still kinda visible. Eh I'll still wear it until I can get a new one. I went back into my bedroom and got under the sheets. . .
Huuu mimimimimi
Huuu mimimimimi