Snap, Crackle, Pop! (Friends X Male Reader)

The One With Two Parts, part 1

[Scene: Rift's Restaurant, as seen in Mad About You, Y/n and Chandler are there.]

Chandler: This is unbelievable. It's been like a half an hour. If this was a cartoon, you'd be looking like a ham right about now.

(Ursula Buffay, Phoebe's identical twin sister, is waiting on tables in her inimitable manner.)

Y/n: There's the waitress. Excuse me, Miss. Hello, Miss?

(Ursula spins around looking puzzled, quite unable to tell where the sound is coming from.)

Chandler: It's Phoebe! Hi!

(Ursula notices Y/n waving his hand, and comes over.)

Ursula: Hi. Okay, will that be all?

Chandler: Wait, wait! Wh-what are you doing here?

Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now I'm here.

Y/n: No, no... how come you are working here?

Ursula: Right, yeah, 'cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.

Chandler: Can we start over?

Ursula: Yeah. Okay great. I'm gonna be over here. (She wanders away.)

Chandler and Y/n: No, no, no!

[Scene: A wintry February day in New York City, snowplows are clearing the streets. Inside Central Perk, all three girls are paying court to Ross.]

Ross: I don't know whether he's testing me, or just acting out, but my monkey is out of control. But, he keeps erasing the messages on my machine, "supposedly" by accident.

Rachel: No, yeah, I've done that.

Ross: And then, like three days in a row he got to the newspaper before I did, and peed all over the crossword.

Rachel: I've never done that.

(Outside in the street, Y/n and Chandler arrive, to peer through the window at Phoebe, by bending down to look underneath the shop's sign—a large steaming cup of coffee.)

Chandler: All right, now look at her and tell me she doesn't look exactly like her sister.

Y/n: They do look alike, but they have to be different... right?

Chandler: They're twins!

Y/n: I don't care. Phoebe's Phoebe. Ursula's... hot!

(Y/n and Chandler come indoors.)

Chandler: You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things?

Y/n: Yeah.

Chandler: Let's not do that any more.

Y/n: I'm not saying they don't have anything in common. I'm just saying that I've never thought about Phoebe like that.

(They hang up their coats and scarves, then approach their friends on the main sofa.)

All: Hey guys! Hey!

Joey: What's shakin?

Y/n: Yo Pheebs, guess who we saw today.

Phoebe: Ooh, ooh, fun! Okay... um, Liam Neeson.

Y/n: Nope.

Phoebe: Morly Safer.

Y/n: Close but no.

Phoebe: The woman who cuts my hair!

Monica: Okay, look, this could be a really long game.