ORANGE HUES ||
My mom and I went to the supermarket, and then after those long 3 hours I went to the mall right away, taking the city bus. I went alone, and bought 4 sweaters, 2 pants, perfume, blind bags of anime characters, and some deodorant. All those things came with a total of 130$, including taxes. My grandpa said he'll give me money, and my sister is also giving me 500$. No idea why she is, but I'm not complaining.
The clock reads 5:29 pm, and I had just gotten home 7 minutes ago. School ended a week ago, and during the last weeks of school Leo and I had been hanging out everyday afters school. Up until the last day, I had ghosted everyone from school. Including Leo, Jinni, Kana and Reva. For the reason being, I need a fresh start, and I do admit it was such a shit move but I felt like I had to. It's me here that is the problem, but this is what I've always been doing, it's not a surprise for me.
In two days I'm going on a trip with my childhood best friend around the world, well not entirely but we are going to 2 different continents. It's been a year since we last saw each other.
Hearing my mom call me from downstairs, calling me to take the trash out, I go downstairs and comply. Avoiding my best to not touch the gross part of the trash bag, opening the garage, walking to the garbage can, holding my nose to not embrace the disgusting smell. As I clap my hands, getting rid of the dirt, I hear my name be called. Confused as I am, I turn to the direction of the voice, coming from the park I see Leo. Walking towards me, and I feel the urge to run, but that's just stupid.
"Hey," playing it off friendly, like I didn't ghost his ass. "What are you doing out here?" I question, already knowing the answer.
"Why'd you ghost me?" Leo confronts immediately, his tone is bold and he sounds a little bit mad. Taken aback, I sigh looking over to the side. I just did, I did with everyone. That's how quick it is for me to forget friendships, to forget memories that mean so much to me, it scares me how I pretend that significant events didn't mean anything to me, and my mind resets to it was never that meaningful.
"Did me ghosting you mean a lot or what?"
"Eyam, you're being mean." Leo says, and my eyes start to tear. Yeah, I've been bitter lately, I'd admit I don't know what came over me, maybe it's just a defence mechanism I use to avoid confrontation.
"I know."
"Can we hang out again Eyam? Please." He pleads, sounding desperate, my heart aches and I know it shouldn't be.
"I'm really sorry that I blocked you on everything, I did that with everyone, and you did nothing wrong, but I'm going to be gone for the whole summer. I really liked hanging out with you but we can't, I'm sorry."
"How come?"
"Cause' it's not you, it's me, and I'm hundred-percent telling you the truth. Before I moved to Neil's, I cut all ties at my previous school, it's just something that I do okay?" I snap, seeing Leo's eyes widen, I mutter a sorry. "See you Leo." I say, going back inside, hoping that this will be the last time we will ever talk.
ORANGE HUES||
New York City, San Francisco, Seattle, Hong Kong, Bangkok, Manila, Cebu. All the cities I went to this summer with my childhood friend Chaela, we experienced rain in all the cities and I never thought I could ever feel that happy before. Every café shop I entered had this aroma of sweet to it, and now, every time I look at coffee I can't help but smile remembering the sweet smell.
Vacation was a blast, but now I know mom is going to be working hard for the next few years. I'm going to be alone again. My siblings, Ei and Jaurence, are living in two different cities and both are busy, but I'll manage. I've been managing for quite some time now. I'm on my phone, laying on the couch while the tv is on, playing a random Filipino drama.
I'm scrolling through pictures of Chaela and I, the city buildings in Bangkok and Paris, the architecture in both cities are both amazing and beautiful. Every city I visited had me in the same effect. However, Bangkok and Paris stuck out more. I knew my mom and I would take so many pictures and so we bought extra storage for our phones to hold up.
Watching the video I took in New York city of the rats, New Yorkers and the media weren't lying about how fat the city's rats were, hearing Chaela's and I's giggles makes me laugh also. We stood out in that city, because New Yorkers were used to seeing rats everywhere and Chaela and I weren't, it was a funny moment I'd like to never forget.
It gets a little bitter, only because every city we visited, I couldn't help but imagine Leo being on the trip also. Imagining funny scenarios in Seattle, imagining comical romantic scenarios in Paris, everyday, every few hours I would blank out and imagine Leo there.
I have to admit, getting to know Leo as the year closes was probably one of the best things. I'm grateful, and I regret my actions on our last interaction. I turn my phone off and turn my body around and lay on my back. Looking up at the ceiling, I close my eyes and sigh. It feels too wrong to talk to each other again, especially how I acted.
The doorbell rings as I sit up on the couch, I groan in frustration, hoping it's not who is at the door. I stand by the corner by the wall, at an angle where I can see their figure through the window. I gather up ambition and walk to the door, opening it. My face still stays the same, bland and uninterested. It's Wales and Leo, immediately seeing Wales mouth begin to open I shut the door. Locking it also, I cover my ears as I hear Wales' voice behind the door and It makes me tug a smile.
I guess it's no use, this city is big but I'm sure I'll definitely see them, so it's no use to avoid anyone here. "Kay' what do you want?" Opening my door, deadpan expression, arms crossed and leaning against the door frame. The two were both smiling from ear to ear, it made me want to almost chuckle, my face wanted to smile but my mind didn't. So I stayed there, putting my lips in a line and the silence was unbearable.
"How was your trip? I saw Chaela's story, you know you in New York, San Francisco." Wales recalled, only naming the cities that caught his pique interests. I nod my head, I only make eye contact with Wales, only because if I look at Leo, my face will begin to heat up, causing me to smile. Speaking about my trip, I can only think of the negative things that have happened, maybe it has something to do with the fact that Leo is here. Or maybe negative things are bound to come often, and I'm just blaming it on Leo just because.
"It was beautiful," I say, pausing just to think about other moments and vision of the scenery. "Too bad though, 'cause' Chaela and I probably won't see each other again next year." Sighing, feeling the wind breeze against my skin, tucking the strands of my overgrown bangs behind my ears. Wales looks amused, but Leo doesn't, he looks uninterested—or maybe that's how he looks when there's not enough people around to show his pearly whites.
"Are ya' going to Blue Mount or L.V.E? Me and Zac are tryna' go to L.V.E, also Lara and Jamie too." Wales mentioned, L.V.E is also another big school, but not as big as Blue Mount. L.V.E is more of a secluded school, more private and only accepts students that fit their ideal standards, Lara and Jamie or known for having class, they were the schools rich girls. With a background like that, Lara and Jamie won't have any trouble getting accepted. I find it ironic that girls like them hang out with weird-ass losers, but I shouldn't say much because it is middle school, and most people want to be within the crowd of the most attention.
"Yeah, I'm going to Blue Mount." I answer, seeing Leo's face stunned from my peripheral point of view. From Wales' question, I pondered if I should lie, only because this is one of the many ways I can disappear. Wales nod, and I look over to Leo with his eyebrows furrowed slightly, and his eyes inquiry, he looks confused.
"Well, what're you guys doing here anyway?" Asking, seeing Wales take a peek inside my house, glancing at the packed cardboard boxes, suitcases, I move to block Wales view, his eyes revert back to me.
"Leo and I are going to take the city bus around the city, we're just gonna go and walk around."
"Like window shopping?" Raising my eyebrows with a sly grin, Wales' face confused at what I meant, but he nodded hoping to understand later.
"Yeah!"
"Kay' umm just wait out here, I'm going to get ready." Before I turn, Wales' call out to me, Leo has already gone down the steps, looking like he was ready to leave, seeing him like that with the straight face he carries on, something strikes inside me.
"Can we come inside?"
"It's messy."
"My house is messy all the time, please, yours is fine cause' you were just on a trip." Wales' explained, having time to think I look back inside then look back to them, still I refused.
"Fine."
