his regrets

chapter- 20

(TW: contains self harm, abuse suic!de, sexual content. read at your own risk)

Ricardo's pov,

"They say love is the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to someone. But all I see is his ugly heart. A beautiful face. But a hideous soul." She released a puff of smoke into the air and exhaled deeply.

She was so beautiful. As a child, I was sucker for looks, and she was one of the kinds that made me question everything I thought I knew about beauty. At the time, she used to caress my cheeks with a kind smile and sing me a lullaby before bed. I believed she was the epitome of love and kindness. Her voice sounded like angels singing from heaven. But as I grew older, I started to see the cracks in her facade. Her words became sharp, and her actions were filled with deceit. It was then that I realised true beauty lies within, and her outer appearance was merely a distraction from the darkness within her soul.

Her head turned towards me as she stared at me with a corner of her eyes. Even horror movies don't scare 13-year-old me. But her deathly stare sent chills down my spine. It was as if her eyes held the secrets of all the pain and bitterness she had hidden for so long. In that moment, I knew that behind her once angelic voice and gentle touch, there was a darkness I could never fully comprehend.

"I thought you were different from him. But now I see that you're just like the rest," she said coldly.

She's going to beat me up again. I was so scared that I forgot to breathe. My palms were sweating as heat rushed over my body. It would be embarrassing to curl up as a child, as I used to do before. Now I'm a man-a 13-year-old man! No way am I scared of a lady like her. I've become taller than her.

"I hate him. I thought at least my child would be mine. But it's horrendous; you look exactly like that monster, and you act like your disgusting father-that fucking monster. Those filthy, ice-cold eyes of yours remind me of him." She spat in anger.

She stood up, which made me flinch. I could see the rage in her eyes as she stood in front of me, face-to-face. My heart raced, but I refused to let fear consume me. She raised her hands.

A tight slap that I was expecting.

But to my surprise, instead of hitting me, she cupped my face. Like she used to. Her hateful eyes surprisingly softened.

"Am I a villain now? Isn't it?" A sinister laugh escaped her lips as she traced her fingers gently along my cheek. Tears rolled down her cheeks, which she had been holding for a long time. The sudden shift in her demeanour sent chills down my spine, leaving me uncertain of what would come next.

She immediately turned her face, avoiding eye contact. As she strolled over her mini garden, her balcony was full of black roses.

Just like her soul.

She cherished them more than her own children. The only time I see her real smile. It was in those moments, amidst the darkness and the thorns, that I realised how deeply she embraced her role as the villain. It was a part of her identity, a twisted source of joy that she couldn't deny.

Her smile was fading, and as she tried to speak, she choked on her own tears. I couldn't even figure out her emotions. With her expression constantly changing, she was trying hard to hide her pain.

"i should leave. Before you start hating me.. more"

With her last word, she was gone. Gone forever. I immediately ran and looked down on the balcony. Something unusual that I felt-I can't even explain what I was feeling. Mix of fear, regret, empathy, happiness, and sadness.