I sat down on the bed, my back to the headboard. I was so contented, that I almost sighed out loudly. Every single one of my nerve endings were humming with satisfaction. Yet, I wasn't ready to let him go. Not at all.
Strangely enough, I wanted to talk to him. I never had this urge to just talk with someone after sex. I always wanted to get rid of them as fast as possible. It was different with Elron in every aspect.
He took his time in the bathroom, but after a time he had to come out. He acted nonchalantly, but I watched him too closely not to notice that his movements were not that smooth. He put on his boxer briefs, then his pants and finally he flopped on the side of the bed to put on his dress shoes. That was the moment I chose to intervene.
I grabbed him by his middle and pulled him across my chest. He was sprawled over me, just where I wanted him to be. He wasn't trashing or trying to get free, but I put my whole arm across his chest for good measure and pressed down my palm.
I loved the sense of being so much stronger than him. My wolf was basking in the feeling of manhandling Elron. On the other hand, he wasn't fragile, not at all. He told me repeatedly that he liked the pain. Already, the red marks from my choking disappeared from his skin. I let out a satisfied hum at that realization.
He blinked up at me a few times as asking me silent questions.
"What?" He mumbled after a few quiet moments.
"I have questions for you."
"Oh, you have?" His eyebrows rose to his hair. Usually, his hair was tamed and smooth, but every time we got close, I messed it up. Now it was also damp from the shower, and I wanted to sink my fingers into it. His hair and when I thought about it, his skin too was smooth and soft like the finest silk. His whole body was light and touching it was almost otherworldly. He had muscles, all right. Lean but well defined muscles, but there was this soft quality, this silkiness to his whole being I never encountered before.
He waited so patiently for me to formulate my question, that I almost abandoned my planned interrogation to give him a little reward. Him and myself at the same time.
"Are you a mouse shifter?" I asked the thing that was on my mind since I first saw him.
"What?" This time a small chuckle escaped him. I realized that I never saw him smile and never heard him laugh. He was always so serious, even when we had sex. "Why would you think that?"
I watched with fascination as his unusual silver eyes seemed to sparkle.
"Well, you are definitely not human." I said a bit defensively. "Your coloring... And you are smaller..."
I started to get embarrassed by my own words. I fucked this up. The sparkle disappeared from his eyes, and it looked like actual storm clouds gathered in his orbs. I ever saw anything so unusual and enthralling.
"I'm not a mouse." He mumbled. The hint of a smile still played at the corner of his mouth, that said to me that at least he wasn't that offended.
"But you know that I'm a wolf." I asked. It was against the rulebook to reveal ourselves to humans, but he wasn't a normal being.
"I know." He answered simply and closed his eyes. There was an expression of complete and utter concentration on his face as he said his following words.
"I'm not sure what I am. My father is a simple human and I'm not showing the signs either."
There it was. I still didn't know his species, but it was an evidence enough that he wasn't a human. He was deep in thought and let him sort out whatever was the matter. Suddenly he jumped up from the bed with such force, that my hand hit the headboard. Hard. So much about him not being strong.
![Why Me? [ONGOING] [16+] by shesthatgirlll](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/316029982-80-k290981.jpg)
"Shit, shit, shit." He mumbled under his breath as he pulled on his shoes with jerky movements. He leaned over for his shirt, but I gripped his wrist.
"Don't you think, that you owe me an explanation?"
Elron turned around slowly, carefully and looked straight into my eyes. I wasn't proud of it, but I flinched back. His eyes were full off black clouds, and I had a sudden feeling that those clouds could lash out and choke me to death. My fingers fell from his wrist instantly.
"I don't think so."
And with that he left me, his shirt flopping after him as he slammed the door.
Why did it fucking hurt so much? I knew him for what? Ten days? Still, it hurt that he just left me.
I was the one that was always left behind. I should have gotten used to it, but I never learned. Mother left me for her pills. Father always left me for his newest wife. He was on his fifth.
And Marco. He was so oblivious to my pain that some of the days it was almost laughable. Every time he went to Italy with his family, it always felt like I died a bit. Again, and again.
And yeah, this time at least I had some inkling of what happened. I could only thank my intrusive questions. Why the fuck did I ask those stupid questions?
If only I could shout my stupid mouth and use it for something like sucking him off instead of what I did.
Anyways, it was just sex. If I told it to myself enough times, I could totally believe it. One day. Maybe.
I pulled myself together, changed into a shirt and jeans and called a cab. There was no use to stay at the hotel, when I had my place a half an hour ride away. I wasn't about to stay here that tomorrow morning I could witness Marco and his new wife embarking on their honeymoon. Fuck that. I had my limits.
The next week was my loneliest. Practically, I didn't leave my loft. I didn't even bother to meet the delivery guy, he just left my food at the doorstep after a few tries. At least this place was mine and mine alone.
I bought it when I received the fist payment from the movie. Dad was one of those real estate moguls who owned half of Manhattan, but I wanted something to myself. This building was scheduled to be demolished when I bought it. Once it housed offices for a small, local newspaper. I cleaned it up. The ground floor was totally empty, still. I had some plans to do some kind of bar or restaurant there, but then I was too lazy to act on it. The upper level was one huge space, mostly empty. There were a few sitting areas scattered all over. I used the one that suited my actual mood.
The only concession to my wolf was a comparatively smaller bedroom. It had to be a closed off space for him to sleep well. The bed was still huge, they called it extra king or some emperor shit in the store. It was comfortable as fuck and that was all my wolf cared about.
Almost no one ever came here, the cleaning crew was always scheduled to come when I wasn't around, so these past weeks they were absent, too. I couldn't bring myself to get the place cleaned. My wolf could still scent some lingering remnants of Elron's presence. I was a bit pathetic like that in my fixations. If anyone ever found out that I slept with his suit jacket under my pillow, I would die from embarrassment. He left it in my room when he so hurriedly left, and I hoped he didn't miss it.
The thing was, that his scent was very weak, almost indiscernible. It was like the cold smoke they used at the concerts. Soft. There was nothing soft about Elron, just his scent.
And now I was remembering all those muscles as they moved, stretched, and tensed as I fucked him. I jerked off this past week more than it was healthy. Still, it wasn't enough. I just traded one obsession to another. Instead of Marco, now I was obsessed with Elron. How could it happen so fast?
Every time Marco left for Italy, I took me only a day or two to rent a motel somewhere upstate and hire a boytoy or two. I fucked them until I collapsed then I was sedated for a week or two. Doing that this time was impossible. Now that I got to know the real thing, I wasn't up to some substitutes.
I already destroyed the piano a year or so ago, so there was nothing I could direct my anger toward. The piano that I bought when I moved in in hopes that Marco would come over and we would make more music together.
It was a fucking pity that we stopped doing our thing. For it was true that our success came too early. We met at the beginning of our second semester at Julliard and we were inseparable since then. We never finished the school. Instead, we wrote a Broadway musical together. A musical about our love for New York. The musical that was still playing and still was almost sold out every time. Even after almost ten years.
In the beginning it surely helped that both of our fathers had the money and the connection, but after the first month it didn't matter anymore. What we did was a success. And it didn't stop there.
Next year it was made into a movie. Both of us were nominated for Oscars. Me for adapted screenplay and Marco for one of the songs. Thank fuck that we didn't win neither of it. It was not easy to deal with all that shit before we turned twenty-three. It was an astonishing feat that we were still alive after all the booze and stardust we snorted. Our only saving grace was our wolf blood.
The parties at Marco were still heavy, but lately none of us seemed to enjoy it anymore. The novelty wore off fast. I felt empty for years, unable to write anything new. The royalties still kept coming, so at least I wasn't humiliated by asking money from my father.
Marco didn't have my scruples, he spent his father's money like there was no tomorrow. And I started to hate myself for always following him, whichever self-destructing habit he developed.
Now, it was all gone. I had a suspicion that Marco wouldn't be able to go back to his partying ways after his marriage. Doing that shit alone didn't hold any appeal at all.
When I settled into this lonely state it did something unexpected to my brain. I wanted to write again. Those three songs Marco sent, weren't enough to start to work with and I wasn't really in mood for a new musical.
I sat down at the dinging table, powered up my old laptop and realized that it wouldn't work. I rummaged around and found some post it notes and a pen. That should do until my new laptop arrived. I started jotting out a novel, for all the fucking things I could do.
I was a bit anxious at first. I never even attempted to write a novel before. I was a screenwriter through and through. But this time I had an inspiration. I was writing a very tragic, very gay story. I had to keep warning myself not to put myself into it too much.
Immersing myself into my rapidly growing manuscript went so well, that I totally lost the track of time and everything else. Until a massage came through.
I squinted at my screen for long minutes until I comprehended what I was reading.
Elron:
I indeed owe you an explanation. My mother returned only a few days before the wedding, and I wasn't prepared for all the things she revealed. I learned a few strange things, but we can't be sure until after my twenty-fifth birthday. And that is little over a year away.
Me: Thank you for clearing that up.
The three dots appeared and disappeared from the messaging app. Elron was writing and deleting his words. That made me madly curious.
When his message finally came through, I was gripping my phone so hard that the screen almost cracked.
Elron: Also, I must apologize for leaving like I did. It wasn't about you at all. I was confused.
Me: Thanks again.
I was thinking very hard what to say to him. Thanking him wasn't much, but he sounded so formal and distant.
Elron: Also, the sex was spectacular.
This time my screen cracked from the force of my surprised twitch.
Me: Thanks for that, too. I guess.
I typed through the cracks and with that ordered a new phone to be delivered ASAP.
The next few days I read and reread his message about the sex with me being spectacular. I wanted to do something about that, but I was clueless. I never had the opportunity to flirt. I was bad at it, it turned out.
