Enough

Chapter 2

Every day is a blur, sleep, school, eat, repeat. How do we know we are not meaningless. Time flies by and slows at our worst moments, but last night I deciphered the meaning of life the person who makes you feel like time stops. Eve. I scribble on my sheet of schoolwork that is completely useless, I used to care about school, I was a straight A student, and then my grades dropped everyone started treating me differently, teachers, parents, schoolmates, that's how I know I can only trust Eve. "School is a prison for creativity" I whisper under my breathe. I glance down at my sheet to discover that a small hole is beginning to form and I have begun scribbling on the table. "Lena!" I hear the teacher screech over the class. "Yes?" I say less confident then I desired. "Come up here and complete this question" She commands. Crap. I step forward and I feel the class elongate and shift, I focus on my steps and reach the board. My hand quivers as I grip the marker and my gaze shifts to look at the question. Maths, I hate maths who needs numbers anyway. "Lena, we don't have all day." Ms Applebottom says glancing down at her watch while doing so. I feel a spotlight down my neck and my face begins to shift to a reddish purple out of embarrassment. I feel the eyes of my classmates as they wait to see if I am once again humiliated by Ms Applebottom. Sweat encasing onto my palms makes the pen slip from my clutch and instinctively, I drop to the ground to retrieve the pen. Panic settles in and I wait and wait for a moment of realisation, but it never comes. "I-I-I" I stutter. "You don't know" Ms Applebottom responds finishing my sentence for me. I nod my head sheepishly and slump back into my chair to carry out the rest of the lesson. The bell chimes indicating the end of the school day and to my dismay the end of the school year, as much as I dislike school the end of it inevitability means that your grades are sent home and that for me, is a living hell.

I leap off the bus steps and onto the pavement, behind me is my little brother who unlike me is ecstatic that the year has come to a close, I don't blame him when I was his age I was the same if not more excited by the idea of summers spent playing video games with my friends and carelessly laughing the blissful days away, but like everything else I grew out of it. Now the only thing that gives me the slightest spark of joy is the fact that my summer is going to be spent with Eve. I walk down the path of my home passing the newly put up Christmas decorations that bring some life into the dull colour palette of our home. I unzip my bag and pull out my key. I push the key into the lock and twist until a click shows my success, my brother barges past me immediately dropping his bag and running up the stairs while screaming "SUMMER!". I too quickly rush up the stairs trying to avoid the disappointed face of my parents and a lecture about "What happened to our little girl?". The cushioned carpet silents my steps but I remain cautious, one creak and my summer may end as soon as it starts. I reach the landing pad take a stride in the direction of my room as a piercing creak echo through the house. I squeeze my eyes shut and bury my face in my palms while despair floods my senses. "Lena? Is that you?" I hear mums voice question. "Yep" I say exasperated, putting on a fake smile and turning my body 180 degrees. "Come down here sweetie" she says. I thud down the stairs and sit beside my parents sinking into my couch ready to be scolded, but they didn't look mad they didn't look ashamed they just looked desolate.

"I don't know what to do anymore" her voice was sombre and cold. "Your grades are lower than they've ever been, you won't talk to us, what did we do wrong?". The room went cold and icy and a shiver ran down my spine. The silence was deafening, it made my heart sink. I tried to speak but my voice drowned out before I managed to get any words out. Pushing back tears I managed to squeak three words out a pause after each one that seemed to stretch on for an eternity. "I don't know" I sound like a toddler lost and searching for my parents. A tear trickled down my father's cheek. I couldn't breathe the room was suffocating I ran out of the living room slamming the door behind me. I was on the street sprinting, tears flowing down my face like icicles against my burning face. I run, and run, and run, I don't stop.