Real Life Sucks!

12

Rory had been here before. Not literally 'here' here, but here, in a car, debating whether to get out or not. Everything had moved smoothly up to this point. Relatively smoothly. There was the slight incident leaving the house. Then that moment where he dithered. Then again when he felt certain he'd forgotten his underwear, which, Rebecca had assured him, she knew for a fact he had packed. He had had to open his travel suitcase to be certain.

The point in the journey, when the car, for some reason, began to resemble a greenhouse, even though the heating wasn't on and it wasn't exactly a warm day, which he found out when stepping out and decided he needed his hoodie. The motorway services were a nightmare and he didn't tell Katie that he had considered running home across fields, avoiding population centres and wondering whether he could catch a squirrel, or something, to eat. He'd watched post-apocalyptic movies. He had a good idea how to do it, but knew he had none of the skills.

But, apart from that, smooth. So smooth. Until they had reached the hotel where the game-con had set itself up and Rory had seen lines so long, he wondered whether the entire world had congregated here just to make him uncomfortable. And the worst thing, the very worst thing, was he needed to pee. Which involved getting into the hotel, not sitting in the car while Katie cooed and wowed at all the amazing cosplayers. And they were amazing.

"I'd say take your time, but that would keep us here forever. Forever!" From somewhere, Katie had found herself a share bag of crisps, offering them to Rory every so often only for him to refuse every time. "What if I poke you in the shoulder constantly, saying 'Do it!' with every poke? No? Okay, how about we blindfold you and I lead you to the doors on a lead? No? How about ... oh, my god! I just realised how kinky those ideas are. Fantastic!"

She hadn't kept up a running commentary the entire journey, but she came close. At any other time, that would have annoyed him, but he had far more annoying, perilous things to deal with. And he quite liked it, after a fashion. Her laughter, every time he showed the slightest embarrassment at some of the more risqué things she said almost made him laugh, too. He'd never known anyone that could do that.

"I'm going to be fine. I just ... I need ..." He stopped, trying to lean forward only for the seatbelt, still clicked in, to stop him with a jerk. "That has to be the best Commander Arsenic cosplay I've ever seen! Is that a real gun? No. Can't be. Is it?"

The man, seventeen feet tall, or so it seemed to Rory, all muscles, torn t-shirt, bandoleers of bullets criss-crossing his enormous chest, passed by the car, huge cigar clamped between his teeth. Rory felt more manly just to be within smelling distance. Were it not for the closed door and windows, he expected the testosterone oozing from the man, alone, would have made Rory a genuine sexual tyrannosaurus. He'd heard that line in a movie. It seemed appropriate.

"Rawr! I want to be his seat cushion!" Katie had also leaned forward, crushing the bag of crisps between her chest and the steering wheel. Then, she made an 'eep' sound and sat back, her eyes downcast as she glanced toward Rory. "Not that I would. Not my type."

For the first time in ... well, ever, Katie fell into a silence that resembled those silences that Rory fell into every time he had said something embarrassing, or unknowingly insulting, or practically every time he talked. He frowned at that, wondering what Katie had to feel embarrassed about. The man was a god walking the Earth. Who wouldn't want to be his seat cushion? Regardless, even that encounter hadn't given Rory the incentive to leave the car.

There were so many people! So many. So very, very many people. Like the shopping centre multiplied exponentially, with extra added multipliers and several million more people sneaking in without tickets. He couldn't do this! He had to do this! And there lay the conundrum. This was only supposed to be a small game-con, but the organisers had opened it up to comics and movie enthusiasts. That meant far more people than Rory had expected.