"Oh sweet Lord," Anntonia said, looking around the mess in their apartment and shook her head. "Maybe I should have a garage sale."
She heard Ruru laughed from his spot on the couch and she sighed harshly, confused how to deal with the unreasonable amount of stuffs on the floor.
"Or maybe you should just open up a store for useless shit. I'm sure people would go nuts. I mean, who doesn't want a set of Christmas-themed Alvin and the Chipmunks dinner plates?" He asked, now reaching down to pick up the said design of plate and hold it in the air.
"That's a collector's item!" She said, snatching the plate from the guy's hand. "I paid a lot of money for these."
"Well you got ripped off," Ruru said in a matter of fact tone, shrugging his shoulders.
She could only shook her head and started stuffing more things inside the cardboard boxes. She hadn't found a place to live yet, but she was already finishing packing her things up because it's just a matter of days before Michelle comes back, so she needs to pack everything, the quicker she could move, the better she would feel.
It wasn't that she didn't want to live with her best friend anymore. She just didn't think she could face the woman after what had happened. And after she'd rejected her and basically chosen to drive ahead to Iloilo and Samantha over her. The last thing she wanted was to be sitting on this living room couch when she strolled into her apartment. Either way, it was practically killing her to pack her stuff and think about leaving. She was here for so long, with Michelle. Just the two of them and those happy memories.
But there's a part of her that wondered if maybe Michelle really did have true feelings for her and that she was just too afraid to come clean, like what Ruru said. But still, an even bigger part of her knew that the woman only thought of her as a friend and they had made a terrible mistake by sleeping together. It was the only reason she could think to explain why she hadn't come home or at least called.
Her reverie was interrupted when an arm wrapped around her shoulders. She even jumped a little before she realized its Ruru.
"Michelle's gonna miss a hell of a show if you move out."
That made her sighed loudly and shrugged from under the guy's arm.
If. The thought of her uncertainty unnerved her and she hated it. Why wasn't it easier to make up her mind? She'd packed everything but hadn't found an apartment yet? Yeah, it sounded ridiculous and was obvious even to her that she was definitely avoiding the whole "moving out" aspect of moving out.
She broke away from Ruru's arms and started throwing books from under the coffee table into the box. Those are hers by the way.
"Yeah well, your cousin made her bed, so she can lie in it." She said metaphorically, only to earn a scoff from the guy next to her.
"If you're going to ask me, and if my opinion matters, I think you both made your beds. Or something. And now, neither one of you is lying in it. You two are either running away or running in circles. Or actually, I guess neither bed is made, considering the circumstances. Probably just a few rumpled sheets." The guy responded, with a little more amount of metaphor that it made her stopped and looked at him like he was some sort of crazy.
"Okay, first, that didn't even make sense. And second, I'm not running. Your cousin is the one who's all the way across the damn country, not me!" She even threw her arms up for emphasis. "It's her fault."
"Fine, fine... Keep on telling yourself that," Ruru said, shaking his head. "I think it's both of you who's at fault and you can't convince me otherwise."
"What the hell, Ru?! Can you fucking tell me what did I do!? I'm pretty sure I poured my fucking heart out to that dumbass cousin of yours, so this is all her fault." She nodded her head, satisfied with her answer.
She saw Ruru impatiently rolled his eyes and stood up, tossing some of the books into the box with her.
"Yeah, I agree. Michelle's being a dumbass. But Ann, you're not totally innocent, either."
Anntonia turned to the guy, throw him a sharp glare and scowl at him. "No shit."
"Well," Ruru began, shrugging his shoulders. "I tried to tell you both. That this was inevitable because I can feel so much sexual tension." Then he wiggled his eyebrows on her.
"Oh God. You're such a man," she said, rolling her eyes. "Fine. I realize it's my fault, too. However, I'm pretty sure I didn't ask her to run away and never come back sooner. She chose all this complications on her own."
"What makes you think she's not coming back soon?"
Anntonia's arms fell to her side and she turned to the guy with a serious expression on her face.
"Because she's not here now, is she?"
"No, but driving back takes two days at least. And you know she couldn't ride a plane. Not alone."
"Whatever. She not here. And it's not that she's gonna die if she ride the plane alone. If she really wanted to come back, she will come back. I know her enough to say that. I think, this is not how things is going on inside your head Ru. So stop that delusion. And you told her I was thinking about moving out, right?"
"I did. But not because you're thinking about it doesn't mean that you're actually gonna go through with it. Maybe she..."
"Is she here?" She asked, her hands on her hips.
The guy let out a defeated sigh and looked down at his feet. "No."
"Bingo! She doesn't give two shits about me. I accept that now. I was a mistake, a one-night stand, a chick to fuck. That's it. I've come to terms with it. Why don't you?" She then turned on her heels and headed towards the kitchen, stopping to grab a box from beside the counter.
She heard another loud sigh from Ruru but ignored him as she retreated to the other room.
***
Anntonia sat quietly on the couch, picking at the remnants of her black fingernail polish. Over the past few days, she'd gnawed each of her nails to nubs, trying to distract herself from anything that had to do with Michelle.
She glanced down at her hands. Judging by the state of her nails, she'd been thinking about the woman and everything to do with her a lot. Like every 12 seconds a lot and it pissed her off.
The apartment was so quiet that Anntonia could almost hear her own heartbeat as she sat there. She contemplated doing everything from crying to screaming to tearing the wallpaper down with her bare hands, but in the end, she'd spent two hours just sitting on the couch, hugging her knees.
All of her things were packed in boxes, stacked neatly in her room in front of the closet door. And all was left to do was find an apartment.
Her paycheck as Alden's secretary at the Insurance Agency was more than enough to afford a month's rent in a decent place. Still, nothing she'd looked at satisfied her. Michelle's apartment had been her home for the past couple of years, and there was no way she was going to find that kind of comfort and familiarity in another place. Not to mention, other places didn't come complete with a best friend. With Michelle.