just a moment

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I wish I could have just a moment
so many people I know who struggle to stay alive
still have a moment of joy every couple of days
maybe even once a week
once a month
once every six months?
it's realistic right
because life is supposed to go on if it hasn't end
maybe they have someone in their life to make them smile
a moment of song and dance
maybe they do fun activities
get out in the real world
that used to be me as well
but now I don't even have a moment
I spend every waking moment completely alone
sometimes I talk to the lady who works at the supermarket
I'm forcing myself to keep smiling
like a crazy person
whilst I sit alone
and long for another moment

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