I sat on the window sill of my bedroom and just stared at the sky. My eyes skimmed over the buildings in the distance tracing the sun as it set over the beach. I let out a small sigh as my parents car revved to life to take my older brother Joe to a Baseball game. I lay my burning forehead against the cool glass closing my eyes for a few seconds until the door swung open.
I looked over to find my other older brother Darren walking into the room shutting and locking the door behind him. He slowly walked over to me a creepy grin on his face that made my skin crawl and a shiver rush through me.
"Our parents left me to babysit." He smirked and I rolled my eyes. "Im fifteen I don't need a babysitter." I insisted but he just chuckled darkly coming closer and sitting beside me. He placed his hand on my knee and I shifted uncomfortably. "We have the house to ourselves." He said moving his hand upwards. My breath hitched and I quickly pushed it away standing up.
I cleared my throat avoiding his eyes. "Can you uh please go I need to do um something." I said awkwardly trying to come up with an excuse to get him to leave he was scaring me. He stood up as well and came over to me. "Oh come on just a little fun?" He asked placing his hands on my hips. "No. Im your sister leave me alone!" I yelled pushing him away.
His eyes darkened with lust and anger as he looked down at me. "You do as I say." He said his voice low. I shook my head then I felt a strange sting on my cheek. He slapped me. I gasped and he grabbed my face. "You do as I say." He growled and I nodded. He pushed me onto the bed and got on top of me. Tears streaked my face and sobs left my mouth. Finally to get me to shut up he punched me.
I woke up my body drenched in sweat and my cheeks streaked with tears. I was panting trying to catch my breath. That was the first time my brother had ever done anything. It happened until I turned seventeen when I told my mom who told the police.
I yanked the sweat soaked sheets from my body and got out of bed my brain foggy from exhaustion. I never got sleep anymore without having a nightmare. And with the nightmares I only get two ore three hours before I wake up crying.
I looked at my digital clock that read five AM. I shrugged walking to my closet and pulling out a long sleeved sweater along with a pair of sweatpants. I used to have a good sense of style I guess you could say but now whenever I wear something tight, short, or colorful I feel like I shouldn't be wearing it because I don't deserve it.
I threw the items on my bed and walked over to my bathroom and starting the shower. I undressed and looked in the mirror. I felt dirty and used. I was a shell of my old self. My skin was much more pale then it used to be and my body weight had dropped tremendously. My eyes were now a dull shade of grey when they used to be a vibrant blue.
I stepped into the shower and let the water roll over me and wash away all of the sweat and tears from the night prier. I grabbed a rag and began to clean myself, washed my hair, and shaved. Once I stepped out of the shower I wrapped a towel firmly around my body and one around my hair. I walked out of the bathroom and grabbed my undergarments and threw them on along with the clothes I had set out.
I walked back to the bathroom and brushed through my long brown hair. It went just under my waist. Some people would say its to long and hard to tame but to me it makes no difference. I honestly wanted to have it dyed ombre.
I put it in a fishtail braid and let it go. I walked back out of the bathroom and looked at the clock to see it was seven, around the time my mother and brother were up. I grabbed my phone and bag running downstairs to be met with mom who was preparing to make breakfast. I fell onto the couch and grabbed the remote to the TV switching it on.
Joe came down without a shirt and walked over to me. "How do you wake up so early." He snickered playfully. He knew about the nightmares. Hell, he even comforted me on most nights.
Joe was nineteen and a grade above me. He had messy brown hair and light blue eyes. I guess you could say he was popular he had a lot of girls falling at his feet and he plays soccer and baseball (but mostly soccer now a days).
I rolled my eyes at his playful tone and turned the channel to Sponge bob. He walked into the kitchen telling mom good morning and giving her a sloppy kiss which she quickly wiped away. I smiled watching them then I turned back to the TV.
***
Once I hopped out of my brothers truck I looked up at the huge school building taking deep breaths. I had severe anxiety attacks when it came to socializing. Ever since what happened with Darren I had very bad trust issues and I still do. I walked with Joe to the end of the hall then we parted ways.
I didn't have to go to my locker so I just went straight to class. Some people stopped and stared or just whispered to each other. Their was no no doubt it was about me, but I'm used to it. People often wonder why I'm so closed off and I never talk to anyone but honestly I think it is none of their business.
Once I walked into the room it was pretty much empty. I walked over to the back and sat in my usual seat. I picked up my backpack and sat it on my desk unzipping it then pulling out Matched by Ally Condie. I had read the series three times already but it was my favorite.
It's strange to think that in the future things could either be completely different or exactly the same. You can never actually tell whats gonna happen. If you think about it technology is constantly advancing and one day its gonna come back and bite us in the ass.
When I finally look back up from my book class has already started. I silently groan as I bookmark my page and put it in my backpack. I run my hand through my hair and sigh while the teacher goes on and on about different French terms.
I look at the wall that is beside me as I think of the action in my book. When I read its like it plays out like a movie in front of me. Weird but cool. There is a knock on the door and ms. Valencia, our French teacher, answered the door.
I heard about the new student quit a few times and it was all over the school. My friend Alice wouldn't shut up about him. She even made up some image in her mind about what he would look like. All I knew was that I would stay away from him. I had panic attacks when I was alone with a boy and on top of that he's obviously gonna be a popular.
The teacher stepped outside to talk to him then she walked back in. "Ok I'm sure that everyone has heard that we have a new student joining our school today so everyone give him a warm welcome." She said in an overly cheery tone. I rolled my eyes and he walked in.
He had short brown hair styled neatly into a quiff and brown eyes. He had chiseled and sharp features. He was kinda tall and built. He had broad shoulders and he wore a leather jacket with a white t-shirt with dark jeans and black Keds. A lot of the girls went instantly to flirt mode as they undressed him with their eyes.
I shuddered in disgust and looked out the window. "Take any open seat." The teacher announced and I continued to stare out the window knowing that he would most likely sit with the popular group. I was surprised when I heard him drop his bag beside me. I watched as he sat in the chair beside me and the girls eyed me angrily and groaned.
I crossed my legs tightly out of habit and continued to stare out the window for the rest of the class blocking everything else out.
Once it was lunch time I sat at my usual table near the back and began to drink from my bottle of water. Alice sat in front of me her face lit up as she bounced in her seat. Alice was beautiful. She had guys jumping at the chance to be with her and she already had a boyfriend. His name was James.
"Have you seen the new guy?" She asked excited. Another thing I loved about Alice was her Australian accent. It was really pretty but she would always tell me she was jealous of my boring american accent. "Yeah." I said taking a bite of my apple. "Why?" I asked and she gasped. "He is the hottest guy ever!" She giggled and I raised an eyebrow. "Aside from James." She said with a dismissive hand wave. I chuckled and rolled my eyes.
She looked back at the entrance of the cafeteria were the guy was coming in with the rest of the popular group. "Whats his name anyways?" I asked. "Brady." She sighed dreamily. "Well I'll be staying away from Brady." I mocked her and she turned to look at me. "Why?" She asked dumbly. "Well I'm just not ready for...anything with a guy really." I shrugged biting my lip and she sent me a sympathetic look.
"When are you gonna learn that all guys aren't bad?" She whispered and I shrugged. "In my book they are." I replied standing up and throwing away my tray. She followed my lead and we began to leave the cafeteria. " Don't you ever want to get married have kids?" She asked excitedly. I shook my head frowning at the thought. "I just cant bring myself to trust people like you do." I sighed.
"Hey," She said stepping in front of me and grabbing my shoulder, "your gonna get through this." She smiled and I nodded gratefully. "Hey can I stay the night?" She asked and I nodded. "Yeah mom can take us both to school tomorrow." I shrugged. "Great I'll meet you later yeah?" She asked and I nodded waving to her as she raced off to class.
So how was it? Was it good? This story may talk about some deep stuff. Hell I based some of it off of real things that have happened to me. You just gotta keep pushing forward and you'll be ok. BYE!
