His Defiant Amaryllis (Hinley Manor Book 2)

31: Before and after lunch

"Food can bring people together in a way nothing else could"

-Yotam Ottenlenghi

⚜️

"You were a virgin," he said flatly. "And you never said a thing."

"How could I?", she sniffled back the tears. "You hated me so much. And then you...you changed into the most loving husband I have always wished for. How could I not savor it for a while?"

Damian looked away. She could not read his expression. He was good at that. Not showing anything. Lydia wished she could, too.

"I...I did not mean to keep it from you. But circumstances forced my hand. I know that is poor of an excuse but, it is the truth. Please forgive me."

"Save the forgiveness later. I cannot seem to grasp how things are right now. But, you are right. My lack of memories to support any decision is not helping. From what I collected thus far, I have been the worst husband to you. But that does not answer why on earth have I neglected our marital duties?"

"You loved someone else at that time, perhaps you recall that."

Damian shook his head, "When my brother married Em, ample time passed for me to move on. And I would've left something in my journals if I still hoped to win her back. However, it appears that I have accepted it all. So no, there must be another reason."

Lydia knew what it was. But how could she word it out?

He crossed his legs and placed both hands on top of his knee. His eyes regarded her seriously. "Any thoughts?"

She nodded. But her voice won't come out.

"Lydia, if we are to make this marriage work we must make the effort. No matter how ugly it is. So, if you have any idea to help me fill in the void, please say it."

"You...you'd hate me..."

He uncrossed his legs and leaned over to touch her hand. "I am not a man who makes promises very easily because I have trouble keeping them. But I will give you this: whatever you say, I will take it into careful consideration. I will not lay a hand on you, that you can be rest assured."

A single tear fell before she could stop it. She held her breath and sat back. Lydia hugged herself and focused on calming down. Luckily, her mind and body worked with her today.

"The only reason I could think of is that...you wanted to divorce me."

His brows came together, "You are insinuating. Go on."

"I am not. Damian, this was a marriage of convenience, I did tell you that when you had your accident. Do you remember why?"

"Vaguely..."

"We were caught in a...in a compromising situation. Caught red-handed as we speak. It was my mother who happened to be there. She sprang out of nowhere in the nick of time. Maybe she had been planning it all along, catching me with some bachelor she could sell me off. That night she succeeded. She recognized you and grabbed the opportunity. Although I had asked her to look away, she only spoke to you and demanded we must marry." Lydia took deep breaths, trying not to imagine that night. "She was quick—my mother. She persuaded my father to write to the duke and planted the idea that we were a good match. They sent a reply with their blessing and you had no choice but to do so."

"Because with my father's blessing, they got their trump card. They knew that merely catching us together could have been waived."

"Yes."