Kellin's POV:
Lately school has always been miserable for me. Let me explain why though. Despite his house being in the northern part of the city, Vic and his brother Mike go to the same school as Austin, Tyler, and I. Gang activity obviously isn't allowed at school so we basically just pretend like the Fuentes brothers don't exist, but that's not so easy considering I have two classes and lunch with Vic.
Well, it's not so easy for me anyway... It's so weird how we act like complete strangers now, honestly it kind of stings. My morning starts off dull apart from seeing Tyler on the bus because he's pretty much the human equivalent of a cup of coffee.
"Hey, did you hear about the new kid that transferred last week? I think he got moved into our English class." Tyler informs me as I rest my head against the bus window.
"No, I didn't hear that. Why, is he hot or something?" I tease knowing that Tyler is openly bisexual and loves talking to me about guys for whatever reason.
"He's cute for sure, but I don't think he's my type. Why is it so hard to find guys around here?" He groaned leaning his head on my shoulder.
"One, your standards are too high. Two, all of the hot, nice, and rich guys that match your fantasies live in the North." I laugh knowing how true that is.
"Yeah, like Vic Fuentes?" Tyler cocks his eyebrow with a sly grin.
I shoot him a death glare and lightly shove him off of me. It's a bit of a running gag that Vic and I were buddies. Everyone loves to poke fun at that and I can't do anything but brush it off. I bet not one of the Daytrotters has a clue what things between us were once like.
"You better shut your mouth, Carter." I threaten as we file into the school.
"Like you'd do anything? Please, Quinn, don't make me laugh." He scoffs flicking a piece of his hair back into place.
First period, also known as an hour or so of hell, begins as Tyler and I take our seats in the back. Our teacher starts writing on the board as Tyler points towards a tall guy with gauges and dark hair. I glance at Tyler to see a smile growing on his face. I analyze the boy several seats away and realize he looks intimidating yet approachable at the same time. The two of us could already tell that he hadn't made any friends in this class yet.
Tyler quickly starts rummaging through his backpack and pulls out a notebook. He scribbles something on it, and I'm envious that even his scribbles look like perfect calligraphy. Making sure that our teacher isn't looking, he crumples up the paper and throws it at the boy. It hits him square in the head and Tyler ducks down to avoid eye contact. The boy looks back at us with a confused face, and considering Tyler looks busy, it looks like I threw it instead of him. I blush and fake a smile as I pull Tyler up by his shirt collar to address the situation.
Tyler nervously laughs and gestures towards the wad of paper. Gauges Boy, as I've decided to call him, reads the note and smiles back at Tyler. In my opinion, it's way too early for flirting. While they continue their weird gestures, I find my gaze locked on the heartbreaker that sits at the front of the class. He's always sat at the front since I've known him. Everyone thinks it's because he's smart and he is, but I know that he sits there because he has trouble seeing the board. He's way too stubborn to just get glasses and fix the problem. That's typical Vic for you.
I snap out of my intense staring when Vic looks back at me. For a second, I feel like time stops. It almost feels as if we're kids again, and it's as if he's about to tell me some dumb joke I'll find hilarious like I always did. My heart stops when I see him smile. Or at least I think he's smiling. I could've imagined it, because next thing I know he's turning back to face the board. I groan in frustration louder than I intended to which catches his and the whole class' attention.
"Is there a problem, Kellin?" my teacher asks without moving his attention from his writing. He knows I hate this class so much that he's come to recognize me by my groan.
"Uh no, sir. No problem." I lie making direct eye contact with Vic.
He rolls his eyes and turns around again. That's all the confirmation I need to dismiss the thought that he smiled. I'm starting to think that he hates me, which is fine because I hate him too. I hate him in a different way. He probably hates me because of who I've always been whereas I hate him for who he is now. I miss the Vic that liked board games, talking on the phone at night, and telling secrets in my backyard. I miss the Vic that slept with a stuffed monkey every night because it made him feel safe. I miss the Vic that said I was the best thing that'd ever happened to him.
What they don't tell you when you're little is that some words and phrases aren't meant to be taken literally. The whole "best friends forever" concept doesn't exist in reality. Forever has an expiration date. I didn't know that forever was such a small amount of time though.
My suffering ends soon enough when the bell rings causing Tyler and Gauges Boy to rush to my side. I'm not exactly great at meeting new people, so I give a shy smile as I wait for Tyler to start talking.
"Kellin, this is Michael. Michael, this is my good friend Kellin. He's really cool, though don't worry. I know he looks like an antisocial emo right now, but he's lots of fun when he opens up." Tyler cheerily introduces us.
"Antisocial emo? Reallly?" I laugh only partially offended by his comment.
"You can sit with us at lunch if you want, Michael, since you've got the same lunch period. You can meet our friend, Austin! You'll love him!" He chirps ignoring my offense.
"Cool, I'd love to! Thanks guys, I was starting to get worried that I wouldn't make any friends here..." Michael's voice is a lot deeper than I thought it would be...
He seems like a friendly giant like Austin. I kind of think that everyone is at least slightly giant compared to me. I'm not even six feet tall, but hey I'm closer to it than Tyler is.
--
Lunch finally rolls around in the middle of the day and I'm a little excited about it. Michael seems nice and Tyler might have a new boy toy. Honestly if it weren't for Austin taking me under his wing and Tyler being so friendly, I would've been on my own right now. Robin ended up going to a different high school and sometimes I like being able to talk about stupid guy stuff anyway.
"Quinn! Carter! Who's your buddy?" Austin smiles wide as he sets his tray down and sits across from us.
"Uh hi, I'm M-michael. Michael Bohn. I met th-these guys this morning and they told me that you're pretty c-cool." Michael stutters with joy in his eyes.
"Aw, I've got a real soft spot for these two. They're like my little brothers."
"Not that little!" Tyler and I mutter at the same time. We get teased about our size a lot, but it's something we both relate to.
Austin and Tyler ask questions about Michael and I feel bad for not paying attention. I zone out and start thinking some more. I could really use a cigarette right now. Vic knows of my existence again which is good I guess, but is him hating me better than him ignoring me? That's what I need to figure out.
Tyler's in the middle of telling some embarrassing story when Vic and two of his friends pass our table. It feels like everything is going in slow motion when he looks at me again. Those big brown eyes are sending me daggers, but I can't help but feel thankful for them. I think I'm more than okay with receiving his bitterness. I'd rather taste his poison than choke on our airy silence.
"What was that about?" Michael timidly questions.
"Oh, that's Kellin's boyfriend! He's the jealous type." Tyler jokes causing Austin to stifle a laugh.
I take an irritated breath of air before getting up to leave. I hear Austin mention how I haven't touched my food at all, but I ignore it. He cares too much. It's not his job to care about me. Really, it's not anyone's job.
To a bystander, it probably looks like I'm marching after Vic, but really I'm headed towards the back door. I sneak out to the back of the school right outside of the cafeteria and lean my distressed body against the bricks. I light up a cigarette and deeply inhale before letting the smoke ooze out of my mouth.
I laugh to myself at the thought of Vic and I being in a relationship. I'd thought about it before when we were still friends and I was confused about my sexuality at the time. I'm still not completely sure what I am, but labels aren't of much value to me whether I identify with something or not.
I know I like Vic, that's nonnegotiable. I've had romantic feelings for him since I was 13. That's one of the main reasons why his hold on me hasn't loosened after all these years. No one knows that I like him in that way, at least I hope not. It's hard enough trying to be his friend again, just imagine the difficulty trying to be his boyfriend. I don't even know if he's into guys or whatever. I guess that's something your best friend would probably know and well... I was kicked out of that title.
"Kellin?" I hear a familiar voice say my name, but I can't put a face to the voice.
"Kellin? Is that you, dude?" My questions are answered when Mike Fuentes walks my way.
"Mike! Hey..." I'm happy to see him, but it feels forbidden, partly because of Vic and partly because he's associated with the Daytrotters. He's not an official member but he's close.
"God it's been forever! I'm sorry about the whole Vic situation... I know you guys were close... He kind of screwed all of that up... Listen, if you ever want to come over after this rivalry thing blows over, I'd love to have you around like old times." Mike gleams and it feels so wrong to miss him too and the life we used to know.
"I uh I'd like that, Mike." I mumble before taking another hit of my cigarette knowing that he was probably giving me an empty offer.
"We could play Mario Kart! You know Vic never plays with me because he's such a sore loser. Don't tell him I told you, but I really think he misses you too."
My eyes widen and there goes my heart once again with the rapid thumping and what not. Vic Fuentes will be the death of me.
"Anyway, I've gotta get back to class. I said I was going to the bathroom about twenty minutes ago. See ya around!"
And just like that another piece of my past disappears. Mike was probably just being the nice guy he is and feeding me lies to make me feel better. I'd eat up all of the deceptions I could if it meant that there was a sliver of hope that Vic misses me too.
***
A/N: Thanks for reading guys! I'll try to keep this story flowing.
